Nine Months
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: Maura had planned everything: within nine months, she would give birth to a healthy baby who'd make everyone happy. Starting with Jane. Yet perfection doesn't exist and if you can plan an IVF, there are a multitude of things that don't depend on you. That's life, you just have to adapt. Daily updates, Rizzles-to-be.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Welcome aboard... As usual, daily updates and reviews more than appreciated. The story should be relatively sweet (the first chapter is a tad bumpy but it's just the first chapter). I hope you'll like it!**

 **First Trimester**

 **Chapter One**

Maura closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on her heart beats. She needed to make them slow down a bit. She counted until ten in her head then exhaled as slowly as she could. Her nervousness had reached its peak the moment she had walked in the cafe. All of a sudden, everything had become concrete and the irreversibility of the situation had begun to weigh a lot on her shoulders. If she hadn't had any doubt until now, her relative peaceful state of mind had vanished in the air as soon as she had sat down at a quiet table table by the large windows.

"Earth calls Maura."

The sound of a well-known voice cause her to get tense. She didn't need to open her eyes to know that Jane was now sitting at the table as well. Her friend must have come in during her meditation and she had spotted her immediately.

Maura opened her eyes anew. _Here we are._ She couldn't spend the rest of her life with her eyes closed anyway. It would go just fine. She had the maturity it took to handle the situation. Her courage was fragile but she mostly saw it as a reed: it often bent but never broke.

She smiled. Peacefully. Her stress had embraced her excitement to rise together with a quiet glory. The moment that had been haunting her mind for the last couple of months had finally come. She soon would feel relieved, and ecstatic. As a matter of fact, she had already reached this stage but knowing that Jane would join her in the frenzy of her feelings made it all even better. What they were about to live was unforgettable.

"Have you ordered something?"

Maura cast a glance at the cafe. Her eyes fixed upon the counter where a dozen of delicious homemade pastries waited patiently to be picked by a customer. She had chosen a neutral place, a spot that neither she nor Jane frequented. She wanted novelty and the comfort that only anonymity could bring.

They had very little chances to come across an acquaintance here which was exactly what Maura wanted to avoid at all cost.

"Yeah. I'm havin' a coffee." Jane looked at the cup Maura was holding. A few damp leaves darkened the relatively clear drink. "Is it herbal tea?"

"No, it isn't. It is a theine free tea. An organic one."

This semblance of a conversation was slightly dull – if not just ridiculous – but Maura enjoyed the comfort that emanated from it. She knew what she had to tell Jane, and how she would bring it up. Being blunt wasn't part of her plan. Thus she immensely appreciated their innocent introduction.

"Of course." Jane's smile didn't reach her eyes. As a matter of fact, she looked confused and worried. She crossed her arms against her chest in order to hide her latent nervousness. "So you invited me to a tea party?"

If Maura didn't want to be blunt, Jane saw things very differently. As usual. As much as Jane had immediately accepted Maura's invitation when her friend had sent her a text message earlier in the morning, she honestly wondered what was going on. Maura had remained vague. Too vague.

Jane didn't like it one bit.

"Not really, no." The tip of Maura's tongue brushed the edge of her lips. Her apprehension was palpable. She began to move on her seat, out of nervousness. "I've asked you to come here because I have something important to tell you."

Jane's timid smile froze. She didn't want to trust her instinct because her instinct told her that something was off yet Maura's statement had just made everything worse. It went in that dark direction Jane didn't want to believe in. She swallowed hard and tried to remain composed.

"You... You're not dying, right?"

The despair that showed in Jane's voice went straight to Maura's heart. However the incongruity of the question caused her eyes to widen in amusement. She soon burst out laughing. Jane was wrong.

"What? No, I'm not dying! On the contrary." Maura gave her friend a nod. "I'm very much alive, actually. Very, very much." A fragile sigh passed Maura's lips. She had to say something, if only to relieve Jane who was on the verge of a panic attack. Maura wasn't being fair to her. "I have received the results of a test I have passed and..."

"What kind of test?"

"I'm pregnant, Jane." Maura bit the inside of her cheek to prevent herself from screaming. For someone who didn't want to be blunt, she had miserably failed. "I'm going to have a baby."

Jane wasn't the only person who had frozen. The waitress who had come to their table with Jane's drink had stopped right in her tracks as well the moment she had heard Maura speak. Jane's cup of coffee in hand, the employee stared at Jane and Maura's table for long seconds, not really knowing what to do. She finally decided to turn on her heels and ran as far as she could from them. Bad timing.

"Jane...?" The silent reaction from her friend wasn't surprising yet it made Maura feel deeply uncomfortable. "Jane, please. Say something."

"Maura... You don't _have_ to keep it if it's an accident, you know. I get it's delicate but I'm sure it happens a lot more often than what we think..." Jane squeezed her friend's hand tightly. She was shaking but she wanted to be supportive. She had to. "I didn't know you were seeing someone. Oh it wasn't planned, was it? It just happened out of the blue, right? I get it, now."

Yet Jane was surprised. Very surprised, even in shock. Of course, means of contraception weren't 100% effective but she didn't see Maura as being a collateral victim of it. Her friend was a control freak. It absolutely didn't fit.

"It isn't an accident, Jane. It was... It is planned. Everything is planned." Maura shrugged and rolled her eyes as tears of joy made her vision blurry. "I'm going to be forty years old. It's now or never. I'm ready for this."

The speech she had spent so much time preparing was finally coming to the surface. Sadly it looked more like an incomplete puzzle jigsaw than a real and beautiful statement. Maura's brain had shut down and only bits of these wonderful sentences she had learned by heart now managed to pass her lips.

Her awkwardness had caught her back.

Jane leaned over the table. She cast a glance at the customers who were sitting next to her and Maura and lowered her voice to make sure that nobody would overhear what she was about to say.

"Are you telling me you've used some guy to get pregnant, Maura? I know you're just fine with one-night stands but this isn't what they're supposed to be about! It's so wrong."

"I haven't had sexual intercourse with anyone, Jane."

Jane heavily blushed as Maura's voice sounded loudly and clear in the cafe. Of course, it was the moment the music had chosen to stop playing. Jane swallowed hard and tried to not focus too much on her efforts to pass unnoticed. It was vain. She knew it.

"Then..."

"I have used a sperm donor, Jane. Three months ago, I finally took the decision to go through the whole IVF process... I chose someone's sperm and I followed the medical procedure. The IVF worked out." Maura gave her friend a shrug. "The pregnancy test came back positive. I'm going to have a child and I'm going to need you by my side. Will you come with me to the first ultrasound picture? I have an appointment on Monday, at 9.30am."

Jane remained still. She was unable to speak. As a matter of fact, she could barely breathe. The world hadn't stopped turning but her life had surely stopped making sense. She had received way too much information within the last minute. She felt lost and dizzy.

If she had had doubts about the power of words once, she could now easily say that it was true: words could hurt a lot more than gestures. Because it was exactly what she now felt. Pain. She could see Maura's excitement but she couldn't reach it herself.

She wanted to share the joy that made Maura's eyes glimmer but she couldn't. A strong sentiment of betrayal had passed underneath her skin to go tighten an icy grip on her heart. She didn't understand anything anymore.

"Why did you keep it for yourself? It's not the kind of stuff we're supposed to hide from our friends. Even less from our best friends."

The sharpness of the remark took Maura aback. She hadn't anticipated such reaction. She had fantasized about a thousand scenarios but at no moment had she assumed that Jane could take it badly. Yet now that she was facing it, Maura had to admit that Jane's reaction was somewhat fair. And logical.

"I..."

"Don't you trust me?" Jane's voice broke. She stared at Maura for long seconds, unable to add the slightest thing. The quiet lump that had formed in her throat began to hurt too much. She stood up rather violently as the first tears ran down her cheeks. She felt humiliated, and terribly empty. "How... How can you ask me to be part of the whole thing when you hid it from me in the first place?"

Jane left with a quietness that frightened Maura. Alone at her table, she watched how her friend walked to the door with her head bowed to hide her tears behind a curtain of dark curls.

It wasn't how it had to go.

"Do you want the muffin?" With all the discretion in the world, the waitress looked at Maura. She was holding a plate with a small chocolate muffin in it. "She ordered it."

Maura gave the employee a nod. She was anything but hungry yet food had always been comforting when things didn't turn out the way she expected them to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews. Don't be worried, it's really supposed to be a sweet story (with some bits that are meant to make them grow up). It won't be a drama.**

 **Chapter Two**

Regrets. Doubts. Guilt.

Maura set the magazine down on the coffee table and barely held back a sigh of frustration. She had dreamed about this moment since the day she had taken the decision to get an IVF. Sadly reality had very little to do with the fantasies she had quietly developed in her head. Instead of being ecstatic – and with Jane – she was alone and felt terribly ashamed.

She had screwed it up.

She took a sheet of paper out of her bag but her eyes refused to fix upon the words written in black on the white page. Her mind was somewhere else. It had remained at the cafe she had chosen on Saturday to announce her pregnancy to her friend. As her frustration grew, she put back the pregnancy test results in her bag and closed her eyes.

The weekend was gone now and Maura still had to hear from Jane. A part of her was dying for a phone call but she knew that it was still too early. The truth was that Maura had been selfish and she was only realizing it now. Selfish and tactless. At no moment had it crossed her mind that Jane may take the secrecy of the IVF badly. Neither had she thought about her friend's miscarriage. Jane had suffered from it a year and a half ago. The invisible scars were still fresh.

"Maura?" Elizabeth Pearl, the medical doctor in charge of Maura's medical file, walked to her patient. She flashed her a bright smile. "You owe me a bottle of Champagne."

Maura laughed lightly. Elizabeth had brought the comfort and the confidence Maura had needed all along the procedure. She had always believed in the possibility of a pregnancy, unlike Maura who had remained quite pessimistic. The woman was very nice, and cheerful. Maura would miss her once she would be sent to an ob/gyn.

"I do..."

Maura and Elizabeth began to walk towards the medical doctor's office that was located at the end of the hallway. As usual, the clinic was very quiet.

"Wait!"

A scream caused both women to stop in their tracks. They turned around only to see Jane run towards Maura. She was breathless, and her hair was a mess. Trying to catch her breath, Jane made a vague gesture of the hand.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I got stuck in traffic."

Maura wanted to speak but Elizabeth turned out to be a lot faster. She held out her hand for Jane to shake it. Her smile was still lighting up her graceful traits.

"You must be Jane. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. You must be excited. Maura was really looking forward to spilling the beans."

The remark made Jane freeze. However she politely shook the medical doctor's hand before following the woman and Maura towards her office. The context of the appointment was extremely singular. Elizabeth didn't know anything about Jane's reaction. The fact Maura had talked to her about Jane surprised Jane a bit though. But a ridiculous surge of pride swept away the questions raised by the medical doctor's innocent remark almost immediately.

The woman's office was cozy and quite luxurious. Jane quietly went to sit down on one of the chairs. She cast a furtive glance at her surrounding. The fact Maura had chosen this clinic made sense: the interior design was warm, and friendly. It matched her peaceful temper.

"I was just telling Maura that she owed me a bottle of Champagne. She had very little hopes over this pregnancy and yet... Here we are!"

Elizabeth's laugh filled the room and warmed up Jane's heart for a few seconds. Then reality caught back on her and she swallowed hard. The allusion to her friend's state of mind was painful to hear. The loneliness Maura had gone through – the doubts, the uncertainties – were unfair and it made Jane mad.

Maura deserved a lot better than this.

"It's the six-week ultrasound. We're going to make sure that everything is going fine: the gestational sac, the yolk sac, the heart beats and – of course – the embryo."

"Then Maura will be able to stop the progesterone injections. Yeah, I know all that..." Jane gave Elizabeth a nod before blushing heavily. She had just realized how telling her remark was. She cleared her voice and mumbled a semblance of excuse. "I've read about the procedure."

As a matter of fact, it was the first thing Jane had done the moment she had passed the door to her apartment on Saturday after the fiasco at the cafe.

Her bruised ego had softened way before she had reached Back Bay and by the time she had grabbed her laptop, the only thing she cared about was her friend's health and the unexpected – yet terribly sweet – situation.

"Excellent! So you must know that at this stage of the pregnancy, the ultrasound is done vaginally. Way too many people ignore this detail. I blame the movies. They always show a very... Approximate version of pregnancies."

Jane nodded and tried to ignore the latent pain her heart suddenly began to feel. She didn't know about the ultrasound because of her Google research but because she had gone through it herself. Yet it was a detail that the medical doctor couldn't guess.

"I have a question though."

Maura widened her eyes with surprise. The last few minutes had been overwhelming, so much that she was speechless. Not only had Jane showed up at the appointment but she was now curious and talkative. Really in the moment. It was heartwarming but confusing.

"Which is...?"

"Can you already tell us whether it's a multiple-pregnancy? I read about different sacs and all but I'm not sure I really understood how it works."

If Maura was surprised by her friend's presence in the room and by her degree of implication, Elizabeth Pearl reacted to it with common sense. As if the current situation was one she had always faced. And perhaps she had. Jane's question was quite random, after all.

"As a matter of fact, it's quite frequent to have two sacs at this stage of the pregnancy; even more in the case of an IVF. But one of them is usually smaller and it won't develop well. What happens then is that the sac resorbs and we're left with a single-pregnancy..Or both sacs develop properly and you have twins! We'll schedule a second ultrasound appointment... In two weeks. Then Maura will follow the classic procedure and will meet with an ob/gyn."

...

The cafe they had chosen this time was much bigger than the one Maura had previously picked on Saturday. The interior design was just as peaceful though. Jane thought it looked Scandinavian: a lot of wood, quite minimal. Some touches of white - with ceramics - and green, with plants. She motioned Maura's bowl and gave her friend a shy smile.

"Eat your muesli. Little Maura needs energy."

Everything was going fine. The heart beat was correct, as well as the size of the sacs and of the embryo. Jane and Maura should have been celebrating but a certain discomfort still floated above their heads.

"Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I took my day off. I knew you weren't working today and I want to be with you."

Maura smiled. The sweetness Jane suddenly showed really touched her. As a matter of fact, it was the first time her friend showed so much care. Even in public.

"It's going to feed the rumors."

"Who cares!"

Jane knew what Maura was talking about. Plenty of her colleagues - and probably Maura's employees as well - gossiped in their backs. It was rather harmless but they were convinced Jane and Maura were a couple. Which both women weren't.

Jane had a hard time keeping a wise distance with these rumors while Maura remained completely indifferent to them. She even found the whole situation quite entertaining.

"I'm so-..."

Jane raised a hand to interrupt her friend. She agreed with the fact they needed to have a talk but she refused Maura to feel guilty. It wasn't fair. Jane had been taken aback – the news had hit her like a ton of bricks – but if there was someone who had to apologize then it was her. Certainly not Maura.

"No. Please..." Jane's lips brushed the fresh orange juice as she brought the drink to her mouth. The taste was sweet. Perfect. "Why did you hide it from me?"

Maura set her spoon down on the table and heavily sighed. She crossed her hands, leaned her chin on top of them then looked straight into her friend's dark eyes.

"Because it could have failed and I didn't want you to go through this."

She didn't need to add anything else. Jane knew that Maura was alluding to her miscarriage. They never talked about it. It wasn't taboo but it made them both feel uncomfortable. Besides, the silence over it reassured Jane, because she didn't feel ready to put words on it. Not just yet. Never, maybe.

"A failed IVF has very little to do with a miscarriage, Maura."

"You're right, indeed... A failed IVF is humiliating." Maura looked down at her bowl of cereals and pretended to be highly interested in the muesli. The truth was that she was simply trying to avoid Jane's eyes. "I didn't want you to have pity of me if it didn't work out."

Jane frowned as a cold anger passed underneath her skin. Maura was being harsh to herself. Too harsh. Humiliation and shame weren't appropriate words. Not in this case.

"Don't say that. It's not fair, and it's not true. It's... It's science. You don't have a hold over it." Jane took a deep breath in order to calm down. "However you'd have never gone through it alone. It's a real rollercoaster of emotions... You deserved to have someone by your side."

"Science isn't always fair." Maura wanted to add another point to her argument but the way Jane looked at her made her give up. She knew that her friend was right. To an extent. "I'm a big girl. I can handle things by myself."

Except now it was real. Her fantasies had come true. It changed everything and she felt a bit scared. Jane's presence was comforting.

"How are you feeling?"

Maura pondered her friend's words. She let them sink in her head, and embrace her heart. Then when she felt ready, she gave Jane a honest smile.

"Hopeful."

"You'll be a wonderful mother, Maura. A tad strange and overprotective but wonderful nonetheless." Jane swallowed hard. These compliments made her feel awkward. "Because it's who you are. Please never forget this."


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews. I don't know how long this story is going to be but, yes, I will try to insert a few M rated scenes.**_

 **Chapter Three**

 _Calèche_ , by Hermès.

Maura would have recognized the fragrance anywhere for it used to be her maternal grandmother's favorite one. She had never really liked this _eau de Cologne_ but thinking about her grandmother was comforting. Of course, Adelaïde Bousquet had passed away a long time ago but the perfume brought up the sweet reminiscence of a time that made Maura smile.

Maura took out of the Hermès box a dozen of worn-out envelopes. She set them down on the coffee table and decided to open the oldest one. She grabbed the photographs that were in it and began to leaf through them quietly. It was exactly what she currently needed: after a long and exhausting day at work, relaxing at home and going through old pictures of her childhood sounded like a peaceful source of entertainment.

Of course, the last events had probably something to do with this sudden desire to head back to a time that was long gone now. The moment she had heard the heart beats at her six-week ultrasound - with Jane sitting next to her - Maura had thought about nothing but her own childhood. Some memories were blurrier than others but they nonetheless carried an intensity that she could barely describe. The impact her pregnancy had on her mind was big and it slightly took her aback. She had planned everything but the emotional path expecting a child would take her onto.

The door flew open as Jane walked in carrying four brown bags. She rushed to the kitchen in order to set the grocery shopping down on the counter before squinting her eyes at her friend as she noticed Maura's unusual activity.

"What are you doing?"

Maura had folded her legs under her and had laid down on her side on the couch. She felt a bit tired but fine. And most of all, at peace.

"I'm going through old photographs. Do you want to see them?"

Jane quickly put in the fridge the food and drinks that she had bought. She then walked to the living-room and sat down next to Maura. The first picture she saw turned out to be the one of a chubby red-haired toddler making unsteady steps in what looked like a glorious British backyard. A woman she recognized as being Constance Isles was holding Maura's chubby hands. Constance was wearing very large glasses, and her hair was long. Extremely long. Jane laughed lightly.

"You've lost your cheeks... As the same time as your mother lost her hippie vibe."

"My mother wasn't a hippie!" Maura held back a laugh. "She was an artist. It's different."

Maura sweetly kicked Jane's hip with her foot. She then rolled her back and let a heavy sigh pass her lips. She was two-month pregnant. Eight weeks had gone by already. Eight weeks during which she had shared her body with someone – something – that she didn't know. Yet she had made it. It was a strange sensation, something that she had never felt before.

She rested her hand on her stomach absentmindedly and focused on one of the first pictures she had of herself as a baby. Nothing had changed yet. She had somewhat put on weight – her waist had thickened – but it still passed unnoticed. She didn't feel anything either. Life was growing inside of her without her to even notice it.

Two days earlier, she and Jane had said goodbye to Elizabeth Pearl. The eight-week ultrasound hadn't revealed anything wrong. Thus it was time for Maura to now follow a more classic procedure.

The rest was already planned: she would announce her pregnancy to her relatives once she hit the third month. On her birthday. It wasn't an act of superstition though. She simply wanted to enjoy the peaceful sensation of being the only one to know at the most. Jane shared her secret but Maura knew that she could count on her friend to not say anything to anyone. Life was perfect.

"It's strange to think you're pregnant... To think that you're gonna have a child."

The remark caused Maura to look up. She set the stack of photographs down on top of her flat stomach and observed Jane for long seconds. In silence. Jane had changed since Maura had told her that she was expecting a child. She had opened up and now dared to talk about things that she would have kept for herself in the past. She was also very caring.

"I know what you mean."

Maura did, because it was exactly how she had felt when Jane had found out that she was pregnant. The vision she had had of her friend until then had suddenly changed. Within a second. Jane had ceased to be just Jane. She had become a future mother, someone who would give birth to a child.

Jane didn't say anything back. A fragile smile played on her lips but she kept on staring intently at the picture she was holding. She had got the allusion Maura had just made but she didn't feel like talking about it. There was nothing to say about it anyway.

Nothing worth being mentioned.

"Are you feeling better?" Jane squeezed Maura's ankle softly. "You scared me, this morning."

Maura rolled her eyes. She wasn't annoyed – as a matter of fact, she was even really touched by Jane's behavior – but the nature of the question bothered her for it implied side-effects she wasn't ready to accept. Thus she simply gave her friend a very furtive nod.

"The smell of the bleach at 8.30am isn't my..."

The rest of her sentence never passed Maura's lips. She turned her head and looked at Angela walk in. Jane's mother was carrying different Tupperware boxes. Obviously she had been cooking again and wanted to share some with Maura.

"I've got gnocci, parmesan spaghetti and... "Angela pointed the box on top of the pile. "Pasta pescatore."

"No! No shellfish!"

Jane's scream caused her mother to freeze. Surprised by her daughter's reaction, Angela looked down at the Tupperware boxes with suspicion.

"Why not? It's Maura's favorite." Angela frowned. "Are you saying my pasta pescatore isn't good, Janie?"

Maura sat up slowly. Her eyes had widened under the effect of a sudden panic. Angela was standing in her back, thus she couldn't see her reaction. Unlike Jane, whose eyes kept on going from Maura to her mother. Jane's reaction had just been instinctive. Sadly she now was stuck in a dead-way.

"I... Ahem... I mean..." Jane ran a hand through her hair. She wasn't just looking for her words but for an excuse to her sudden outburst. Anything that would justify something her mother couldn't understand. "Not... Not for tonight's dinner."

The miserable argument pushed Jane to turn quiet anew. A bit ashamed, she decided to focus on the photograph of baby Maura that she still had in hand.

"Oh. Well, you can eat it tomorrow. It's okay, Jane." Angela headed straight to the fridge. She opened it and set the different plastic boxes in it before looking at Jane and Maura with more attention. "What are the two of you doing?"

Jane waved the photograph she was holding.

"Did you know Maura used to look like a Guinea pig as a child, ma'?"

...

Jane cast a glance at Jo Friday who was peacefully sleeping on her lap before focusing back on the web page she had just opened. She knew that it was way too early to buy anything baby related but – one thing leading to another – she had found herself browsing strollers online.

At 11.45pm.

Only two weeks had passed by since Maura had told her about her pregnancy but everything had started two months earlier already. Time wasn't exactly flying by but Maura's first trimester was almost over nonetheless. It would go fast.

Jane understood that Maura didn't want to make it official right now. As a matter of fact, she didn't even discuss this point. She was simply amazed by the easiness with which they both managed to hide the pregnancy to everyone.

Maura hadn't felt fine in the autopsy room – earlier in the morning – but it hadn't caught anyone's attention. Besides, she didn't even have morning sickness. Outside of the two ultrasounds, there was no visible evidence of a single pregnancy. At the moment.

"Oh, jeez." Jane leaned over to have a closer look at a Batman-themed stroller. "That's cool." Not for Maura, though. Her friend's choices were a lot more classic. "A Batmobile... Awesome."

Jane resumed her browsing. The night had fallen over Boston a couple of hours earlier but she was unable to go to sleep. She wasn't tired. Too many ideas and questions kept on bumping onto each other in her head. Loudly. And she was unable to bring an answer to any of them.

But the worst of all wasn't this labyrinth of wonders but a number that haunted her mind and made her shiver: 5%. A very tiny number. A very tiny 'chance' it may happen. A mere nothing in an ocean of numbers and medical tests.

Dr. Pearl had said it, over and over: Maura and the baby were doing fine. Everything was perfect. Yet Jane couldn't help thinking that her friend still had 5% of chance to suffer from a miscarriage.

She didn't want to live it again. Worse, she didn't want Maura to experience what she – Jane – had had to go through a year and a half earlier. It was something that she didn't wish to anyone, even less to Maura. She would be devastated if her friend lost her baby. Devastated and lost. Left with a feeling of endless and bitter emptiness.

"Stop it."

Jane closed her eyes. She counted until ten in her head, as if such a short lapse of time would be enough to chase away her bad thoughts. She then took a deep breath and grabbed her cell phone.

 _Good night to you and to Little M._

 _Jane_

She pressed 'send' without thinking twice about it. She had many things in mind right now but they were all linked to Maura. Maura.

Maura, Maura, Maura.

Maura.

 _Good night to you as well, Jane._

 _Maura and Bubble_

An amused smile lit up Jane's traits as she read her friend's text message. Maura had begun to refer to the embryo as Bubble a few days earlier only, mostly because it was how she pictured it out. A bubble of air, a very precious one that developed at light speed and followed the incredible wonders of human reproduction.

Jane didn't admit it openly but the truth was that she adored it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages. I'm glad to see that you're liking this story so far.**

 **Chapter Four**

"Hey, have you..."

Jane's question didn't pass her lips because the moment she walked into Maura's office, she realized that her friend wasn't there. The place was empty, and very quiet. The bathroom door was open ajar but plunged in the dark. She turned on her heels and went down the hallway anew. Lenny – one of the guys from the lab team – gave her a polite smile as she came across him near the elevators.

"Hey, where's your big boss?" Jane waved a small parcel she was holding. "I've got something for her."

Jane liked Lenny. He was a science geek but a cool guy nonetheless. The two of them had begun to work in the building at the same time. Thus Maura often said that Lenny was Jane's lab version.

"A birthday present? You're ahead of time, this year." Lenny laughed lightly. Warmly. "She's doing some x-rays. We got a new machine."

Jane's good mood vanished within a second. Everything collapsed. Her body got tense and her smile froze as Lenny's words passed underneath her skin. She swallowed hard. Frustration had already melted into a cold anger, deep down in her lower stomach. She barely thanked Maura's employee and rushed to the x-ray room instead.

"What the hell are you doing in here? Are you crazy?"

The sudden intrusion caused Maura and Kent to jump. Both turned around to look at a furious Jane walk in. It wasn't a simple outburst. Jane's voice had risen loudly in the room, so loudly that half of the morgue had probably overheard her. She was mad. Really mad.

"X-rays...? Our new machine has been delivered this morning so Kent and I decided to try it immediately."

Maura cast a glance at Kent. Her colleague looked rather confused. Or even scared. He had never admitted it but Maura was sure that he somewhat dreaded Jane. Which Jane knew.

Jane made a step closer towards Maura. Her traits were deep, and her eyes even darker than the usual. Her obvious anger pushed Kent to rush out of the room without even excusing himself. He knew that he didn't need to. Silence was his best ally when Jane Rizzoli stormed into a room the way she had just to.

"X-rays... Have you lost your mind, Maura? What's next? Nuclear testings?" Jane gently knocked on Maura's head. "Is there someone in there?"

The anger was fragile. On the verge of breaking down into a thousand pieces. Maura ran her tongue over her lips in order to win some time. She knew that her phrasing would be paramount if she wanted Jane to calm down now. The situation was very delicate. Behind her friend's anger lay something a lot more complex. Fear, and frustration. Invisible scars that still burnt.

"Everything is going just fine, Jane. Not only am I wearing the required protection but I am also controlling the machine from another room. The situation couldn't be safer."

Another wave of words brushed Jane's lips but she decided to hold it back instead. A part of her knew that Maura was right but it bothered her too much to openly admit it. She was furious, and yelling was the only escape she knew.

"No, it's not okay. What you're doing is dangerous and absolutely not necessary. You don't even do it, usually. It's not part of your job, it's not the chief medical examiner's role!" Jane pursed her lips. Her heart was beating loudly. She could feel it against her chest, as well as a quiet pain that had begun to run through her veins. She was on the verge of bursting into tears. "You gotta slow down. Things are different now, Maura. Accept it."

Maura opened her mouth to say something back but Jane didn't give her time to pronounce the mere word.

"Unless you don't care. Is that it? This baby's a miracle." Jane's voice broke as a whirl of emotions embraced her. "You need to take care of it. You gotta be careful. You're not invicible. I know that you think nothing's really changed because it's still too early but... Believe me, I know what I'm talking about."

 _And don't do what I did._

Jane had lost her child because she hadn't been careful, before she had put her pregnancy at risk.

She had been irresponsible to the point that she honestly thought now that she actually deserved what she had gone through. But not Maura. Maura was different. Jane wouldn't let her friend make the same mistakes.

"I thought you were a lot less stupid than me."

"Jane..." Maura jumped – surprised – as her friend literally threw a light parcel in her arms before storming out of the room. "What is it?"

Of course, Maura's question remained unanswered as Jane had already left carried by her loud anger. Her curiosity piqued, Maura looked at the parcel. A small card had been attached to it.

 _For Little M..._

 _J._

Maura's heart tightened. She knew that Jane was right in spite of her sudden overprotective side. Maura would have to slow down sooner than later but the truth was that she wasn't ready to let go. Not just yet. Her position at the morgue was too meaningful for her to adapt her schedule so quickly.

Besides, she was still in her first trimester. There was no contraindication.

She opened the parcel with shaking hands and took a soft – deep red – piece of fabric out of it. A bitter smile lit up her traits as she realized that she was holding a baby superhero mini-cape.

 _Super Little M_

The golden characters and the couple of blue stars contrasted with the deep red of the cape. It was a bit silly but terribly cute which only made the situation even harder to handle.

"Oh, Jane..."

Maura folded the cape and put it back in the parcel quickly in order to make sure that nobody would walk in on her. She still had to make her pregnancy official at work. If an employee saw the baby outfit, she would have a hard time finding a good excuse to it.

She walked out of the room and headed straight back to her office. She and Jane needed to talk. Jane's heart was too heavy at the moment. Perhaps they didn't feel ready for it but the words that they had consciously held back for so long had to come out now.

"Is everything alright?"

Maura looked up as the soft, masculine voice swept away her frustrated wonders. Kent was timidly standing by the door. He looked worried, and awkward. Maura shook her head at him.

"No. Not really."

"May I help you?"

Kent was nice and Maura appreciated it. However, she also knew that nobody couldn't help her now. She had to solve her issues alone. By herself.

"Okay... I'll go finish the x-rays now."

Maura gave her employee a nod. She waited for Kent to leave before sitting down at her desk and burying her face into her hands.

...

"Do you want a beer?" Maura took a bottle out of the brown paper bag she was carrying. She held it out to Jane before sitting next to her friend on the stairs that led to the entrance of her building. "They are alcohol free though. The taste isn't really good, let's face it. As a matter of fact, it's terrible."

Maura had sent her friend a text message earlier in the afternoon to ask whether she could stop by Jane's Back Bay apartment after work. Jane had immediately replied by the affirmative. Maura hadn't imagined that her friend would actually be waiting for her outside the building.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you." Jane took a sip of her beer to hide better the discomfort she had felt since she had stormed out of the morgue. "I sound like ma', it's awful. I know you won't harm your child... I just can't help it. I'm sorry."

"How could I harm a superhero child?" The amused smile that played on Maura's lips lit up her graceful traits. She burst out laughing then leaned her head against Jane's shoulder. The street was quiet. Not a single person was outside. Not a single car. "You didn't do anything wrong on that day, Jane. As a matter of fact, you did what you had to do. Don't blame yourself for what happened."

Maura meant it. Of course, Jane's miscarriage was terrible and she hadn't overcome it yet herself but she refused to let Jane feel guilty. Because it was pointless. And unfair.

"I live vicariously through your pregnancy... Which is wrong."

The easiness with which Jane managed to put words on her feelings took Maura aback. It wasn't the first time it happened since Maura had told her friend that she was expecting a child but this new side of Jane's personality was still very unusual for her and she didn't know how to handle it. She highly appreciated it though. Because it made things easier. A lot easier.

"It isn't wrong. And you know why?" Maura closed her eyes. Her head was still leaned on Jane's shoulder. The position was oddly comforting and Maura wouldn't have minded to stay this way forever. The heat of Jane's body warmed her up softly. The brick buildings opposite the street disappeared from her sight as she closed her eyes but her smile remained the same. "Because this is our child. This baby is yours, and mine."

There was no father because Maura didn't want any. However she had always had Jane in mind when thinking about the baby. The situation was a tad singular but then it matched their unusual friendship. It felt right. She wouldn't raise it on her own. Jane was in the picture. Of course, she was.

"I'm gonna be the reckless aunt...?"

The emotion Jane felt after Maura's confession was too intense to be described. She couldn't even put words on it. Thus she preferred to hide behind her sense of humor. One more time. Of course, she knew that she didn't fool anyone, even less Maura. But the vain subterfuge was comforting.

"I won't hurt Bubble, nor will you. And... You will be a lot more than just an aunt to this child, Jane."

"Yeah... Until you meet someone."

Maura got tense. The allusion was implicit but bitter. Jane's voice had lowered of an octave as she had dared to let the words pass her lips. The serenity Maura had felt until now vanished in the air, which caused her to open her eyes anew. She repressed the urge to sit straight again for she needed the warmth of Jane's shoulder against her cheek.

She grabbed her friend's hand to squeeze it tightly on her lap.

"I don't need anyone. I have you, and we have this child. My life is complete now."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews, it's a pleasure to see that you're enjoying this story.**

 **Chapter Five**

Jane poked her head inside in order to make sure that Maura was neither in the living-room nor in the kitchen. The house was quiet, and empty. She walked in and rushed to the kitchen on her tiptoes. It was still early and she had plenty of time to get Maura's annual birthday breakfast in bed ready.

Perfect.

As a matter of fact, Jane had woken up in the first hours of the morning. An excitement she couldn't describe was making her heart beat very fast. Unable to fall asleep again, she had got up before walking Jo Friday for a while in her area.

It wasn't just another birthday for Maura. It was the very last one that she would spend without her child by her side. Jane found it very symbolical. Besides, it was also the day Maura had chosen to announce her pregnancy to her relatives and to her friends. Her fortieth birthday: even her parents were coming from Europe just for the occasion.

It was big, very big.

"Pancakes, coffee, orange juice... Where's the kiwi?"

Jane checked the tray a very last time she had prepared for the last time. Everything was there. She grabbed it and headed towards Maura's master bedroom. Breakfast in bed had become a tradition between the two of them. Every single year, Jane prepared breakfast on Maura's birthday and Maura did the same on Jane's very special day.

It was _their_ thing, one of the numerous things that defined their unique friendship and that very few people seem to really understand.

The door to Maura's bedroom was open ajar. As usual. Jane pushed it wide open with her foot and quietly set the tray down on a vintage table that Maura had bought a few weeks earlier at an antique shop. The bright sun of August pierced through the large windows and came to caress Maura's cheek lovingly. Jane frowned as she realized that her friend had already awoken.

"What are you doing?"

Maura rolled on her back. She gave Jane a smile before focusing on the ceiling. She had pushed the sheet to the foot of the bed during her sleep because the night had been warmer than expected. She yawned.

"I was observing the birds in the tree, outside the window."

Jane took her tennis shoes off in order to sit on the edge of the bed. She nodded. Yet her question had been rhetorical for she had seen what Maura had been doing. However, she didn't understand why Maura remained so quiet in bed knowing her parents were about to arrive. She usually was on the verge of a nervous breakdown whenever it happened. Yet right now, Maura looked incredibly peaceful.

And it slightly scared Jane.

Maura wouldn't have to cook anything. She had hired a caterer who was supposed to show up at 11.30am. In two hours. The guests were supposed to arrive around 1pm. Thus she did have plenty of time to enjoy her morning laziness and her breakfast in bed but it still didn't explain her relative and unusual serenity. Not to Jane.

Jane was about to make a remark about it when she noticed the skin between the bottom of Maura's pj's and the tank top she was wearing. Her cotton top had moved up during her sleep and she hadn't bothered on adjusting it. Jane's dark eyes fixed upon her friend's stomach. It hadn't hit her until now. As a matter of fact, she hadn't noticed the slightest thing. But now she could see it.

"You're showing."

The remark seemed to amuse Maura as she looked down at her stomach and laughed lightly. Her hand brushed her skin. She had a baby bump, Jane was right. It made sense since she was now three-month pregnant.

"I know... That's why I've been wearing loose tops lately. I wanted it to pass unnoticed." Maura cast a glance at Jane who was still sitting on the edge of the bed. "Come closer to me."

Jane complied. The truth was that she was oddly mesmerized by Maura's stomach. Outside of ultrasounds, her friend's pregnancy had been rather invisible until now. Yet the baby bump suddenly changed the perspectives on the upcoming months. It was fascinating.

Maura grabbed Jane's hand sweetly and – with their fingers intertwined – she rested it and hers on top of her stomach with a lot of tenderness. Nobody had touched it until now. Nobody but herself.

Jane was the first one. She would always be the first one in Maura's head, as well as in her heart.

"Does it move?"

The question was very random, and a bit cliché. Its relative ridiculousness caused Jane to blush. Beyond the fact Maura's pregnancy had reached another stage, a part of Jane's feelings had got swept away the moment she had seen her friend's stomach. Jane couldn't identify to Maura's pregnancy anymore because she had never reached this stage herself. She had miscarried before a baby bump to appear. What lay before her was a field of fascinating surprises and misteries.

Sweet ones.

"I know it does but I don't really feel anything yet. Sometimes, my stomach seems to be making bubbles. It's what it's supposed feel like."

Jane nodded. Of course, she couldn't feel anything under her hand but she was ridiculously surprised by Maura's skin. She hadn't expected her friend's stomach to still be firm.

Maura closed her eyes as Jane gained self-confidence. Her friend's fingertips began to caress her stomach. Slowly, very slowly. The gesture was sweet and completely innocent. Deprived of any second thought. Yet suddenly Maura had to swallow hard as a shiver ran down her spine. She was turned on.

Confusion invaded her, which caused her to open her eyes anew. As she looked down at her stomach, she realized that her nipples had hardened and that they were showing through the thin cotton fabric of her tank top.

Thankfully Jane's remark put an end to her sudden discomfort.

"It looks like you had too much pasta."

Maura pouted. She had hoped for a compliment, not for a remark that implied she simply looked a tad chubby now. Her bruised ego caused her to put an abrupt end to the sweet moment she and Jane were sharing. She sat up in bed without any warning and motioned the tray that Jane had left on the antique table.

"Where's my glass of Champagne? You always add Champagne to my birthday breakfast tray."

Jane stood up and walked to the vintage table. She grabbed the tray before setting it down on Maura's bed carefully. Her friend's sudden childish attitude amused her. She knew that Maura had taken her remark badly. Although she also knew that Maura wasn't angry. It was just a moment of cute and harmless susceptibility.

"I know a glass of wine once in a while is okay but don't count on me to bring it to you. I want Little M to be alcohol-free. You're not going to give birth to a Mojito."

...

The hormones.

Quietly sitting on the couch of the living-room, Jane observed Maura coming and going in the kitchen. Her friend's serenity had vanished in the air the moment the caterer had arrived. Her change of attitude was drastic, so drastic Jane wondered if the ballet of hormones happening in Maura's body wasn't to blame.

She had gone from being zen to being a whirl of stress.

"Do you need plates? I have more plates if you want to." Maura rushed to one of the cabinets. She opened it and began to take plates out of it. Plates that nobody had asked for in the first place. "They don't match yours though. It's a tragedy."

"It's okay, Ms. Isles... We don't need any."

The caterer gave Maura a smile but Jane didn't miss the distress that had embraced the man's face.

"Maura." Jane stood up. Obviously her friend needed her right now. Her level of stress was too high. "Come with me. Let them do their stuff. They're professionals, they know what they're doing. That's why you've hired them in the first place, so you didn't have to deal with all this. Remember?"

Jane grabbed her friend by the waist and pushed her towards the living-room for her to sit down. The door to the patio was wide open as Angela had come and gone through it a few times already. Feeling an upcoming frenzy that didn't match his temper at all, Bass had gone to hide in a corner of the living-room. The tortoise was now observing the scene carefully.

"My parents are on their way, Jane. If the plates don't match..." Maura rolled her eyes. She brought her hands to her hips and let a sigh of frustration pass her lips. "I need to go and change."

"Again? Why? This dress is perfect. You look good in it."

The piece of clothing hid Maura's stomach. However, the lowcut revealed the fact that she had taken at least two bra sizes. The dress was elegant nonetheless. It simply showed a lot more cleavage than expected.

"I don't know. It's tight." Maura pulled on her dress but the linen stuck to her skin back immediately. "I'm not feeling comfortable wearing it right now. And look at my chest. It's vulgar."

"It's not vulgar." Jane gave her friend a shrug as Maura's hazel eyes looked straight in hers. "No, really. It's just... It's just not super discreet."

Jane honestly found the dress to be pretty, and it suited Maura. However she knew that Constance Isles liked discreet elegance. There was nothing subtle about this dress. The lowcut revealed too much skin to Maura's mother's taste.

"It looks like a dirndl, Jane. It's a tragedy. A tragedy!"

Maura had put on weight which was logical at this stage of her pregnancy. Her cheeks were fuller, and her waist thicker. But the main difference came from her breasts. The change was really noticeable, even more in this dress.

"Which is a European outfit..." Jane forced herself to laugh. However, she didn't sound casual one bit. "At least it'll make sure your parents won't be homesick."

The gasp that passed Maura's lips hit the air at the same time as the door bell sounded loudly in the living-room. Maura got tense, and her eyes widened in panic. Her parents had arrived. It was too late to rush back to her bedroom to pick another outfit.

She reluctantly walked to the door and opened it with a barely hidden frustration. Her heart was beating loud in her chest. Very loud. Constance barely brushed her daughter's cheek before coming in.

"Happy birthday, Maura. You've put on weight, slow down on sweets."


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages. I don't know how long the story is going to be (though - obviously - we will go till the end of Maura's pregnancy).**

 **Chapter Six**

Jane held back a sigh of frustration. She looked down at her hands before excusing herself and rushing out of the patio to go back inside. She crossed the kitchen heading straight for the small bathroom that was close to the living-room.

Her fingers burned. As a matter of fact, the sensation had spread in her hands the moment she had touched Maura's stomach earlier in the morning, in bed. She hadn't felt anything at first. Or at least not really. It all had happened when Maura had shivered and that Jane had noticed her friend's reaction to her touch.

Her remark about eating too much pasta had been a vain subterfuge to escape from the awkwardness of the moment. It had worked out rather efficiently until Maura's parents had showed up. Then Jane's hands had begun to burn anew, for a reason Jane couldn't understand.

The cool water running on her hands soothed the singular feeling for a while. Somewhat reassured, Jane dried her hands then walked out of the bathroom. She couldn't spend the rest of the day in there. Maura was waiting for her. She almost bumped into her friend's mother who was obviously waiting for her turn.

"Oh." Jane's cheeks turned red. Maura's mother often made her feel uncomfortable, and intimidated. "I'm sorry. Please, come in."

Constance Isles was one of these few woman everyone noticed in spite of her soft and low voice. She owned a natural presence that made Jane green with envy because Jane was her exact opposite. She had to be loud to be seen. Really loud. However, a certain coldness rose from Constance's attitude as well. It scared Jane slightly.

"It's fine."

Jane was about to leave when she realized that Maura's mother was simply washing her hands. Constance Isles hadn't even bothered closing the door behind her. Jane looked at her. Obviously her gesture – or better said absence of gesture – had to be interpreted a sign. Jane understood it and she politely remained by the door.

"It's great to see you in Boston. Maura's..."

"She's pregnant." Constance straightened up. She barely cast a glance at her reflection in the mirror above the sink and went to dry her hands almost immediately. "I may not be a specialist of the matter but I still can spot a pregnant woman in a crowd."

An icy shiver ran down Jane's spine. The world hadn't stopped turning but her certainties had nonetheless collapsed. Within a sentence. She and Maura had honestly believed that they had fooled everyone until now. Her pregnancy had remained unnoticed and they were proud of it. Yet Constance's comment had swept away such certainty within a very short sentence.

"But..."

This time Constance turned around. She looked into Jane's eyes and let a delicate smile play on her lips. A delicate and mysterious smile. Jane couldn't say whether Maura's mother was happy or hurt. She seemed to be standing somewhere in between. Something was off. Of course, she wasn't mad but she didn't look ecstatic either.

"I suppose that it was only a matter of time. My remark about her slowing down on sweets was a mere joke. It didn't have to be taken seriously at all." Constance adjusted her dress. She then made a step closer to Jane. "But err... May I ask you something, Jane?"

Jane shrugged. She honestly didn't feel like answering Constance's questions - even less the ones that came up out of the blue - but she hardly saw how she could turn her down. It would be extremely impolite and absolutely not justified. Thus she gave her friend's mother a timid nod and waited in silence for her sentence.

"Are you in a domestic relationship with my daughter?"

Jane wondered if Constance was joking anew. For long seconds she remained quiet and tried to read through Maura's mother's eyes. In vain. Thus she swallowed hard and forced herself to speak out loud.

"I beg your pardon?"

At least she had showed politeness.

The timing of Constance Isles' question was confusing. Jane was desperately trying to forget what had happened in Maura's bedroom only a few hours earlier. Yet the remark swept away her efforts only to bring her back there with an incredible force. She had noticed Maura's arousal and she had felt it as well.

Except it was wrong, wrong and incomprehensible.

"Do you do my daughter?" Constance Isles burst out laughing as she noticed Jane's dark eyes widen in panic. "I am sorry but you didn't seem to understand what I was talking about. Thus I decided to be a lot more direct."

"No! Maura and I... I mean... No!"

Jane held back a sigh of frustration. She couldn't be timid now, not with Constance. She had to find the courage to make proper sentences and to give a proper answer to her friend's mother like the adult she was.

"Oh." Disappointment showed in Constance's voice. She didn't even try to hide it. She pursed her lips and frowned. "Maura is strong but I know that she can't do this on her own. She is going to need you. She has always needed you... A lot more than she has ever needed me."

The truth hurts. It passes underneath your skin then it tightens an uncomfortable grip on your heart. It's how it works out, how you end up crying.

Jane didn't say anything back, because she knew that she didn't have to. The smile on Constance's lips had flinched and for the very first time Maura's mother had dared to show an unexpected vulnerability. She meant what she had just said. She meant it and believed it.

...

"Where have you been?"

Jane jumped as Maura grabbed her by the elbow and plunged desperate hazel eyes into her dark ones the moment Jane walked out in the patio.

"You've changed?" Jane looked at her friend from head to toe. Maura was wearing linen pants and a tank top that clearly showed her baby bump. Her cleavage was a lot more discreet though. "You didn't have to..."

An untouched glass of Champagne in hand, Maura focused on an invisible point on her left and shrugged. She felt a lot more comfortable in her current outfit even if she knew that it emphasized her brand new curves. But she was okay with it. It was only a matter of seconds before her breaking the news of her pregnancy anyway. Her silence was about to come to an end.

"I was about to make Bubble official when I realized that you and my mother were nowhere to be seen. What happened?"

Maura's level of stress was off the roof. Her voice was high-pitched and she was short of breath. Her hands were shaking: she looked panicked.

Under other circumstances, Jane would have been honest. She would have told Maura what had just happened because she didn't like the idea of lying to her best friend. But everything was different right now. If Maura learned that her mother knew for her then she would pass out.

"We just went to wash our hands. No big deal." Jane forced herself to smile. She knew how Maura needed her support now. As a matter of fact, the moment was the most crucial one they would both live until the birth of the baby. Jane couldn't fail now. She had a role to fulfill, an important one. "Are you ready?"

"No." Yet Maura grabbed a spoon and gently hit her glass with it in order to catch her guests' attention. She had invited her relatives, a few friends and colleagues. People who meant a lot to her, who had an impact on her life. "Everybody, please."

She wasn't ready but then she highly doubted that she would ever be. The words had to come out, one way or another. She couldn't hold them back any longer. Her heart was beating very fast and she was tense but she knew that the moment had come. She needed to focus on the upcoming relief she would feel afterwards. It was easy.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your conversations and I promise that I won't take long. I simply wanted to thank you for being here today. It means a lot to me. Really a lot." She cast a glance at Jane, at the smile that lit up her friend's traits. It warmed up her heart and boosted her delicate courage. "Today is a very special day for me, not only because I am turning forty years old but because... I am currently standing at the top of a new page of my life, that I am about to write. That's why your presence here was so important to me. I wanted you..."

Maura hadn't written any speech. She had thought about this moment a lot of times but she had preferred to not prepare anything. She still had in mind Jane's reaction at that little coffee shop when she had announced her pregnancy to her friend. Every single sentence had been planned a long time in advance but it had all come out wrong. Maura didn't want to make the same mistake twice. Besides, she didn't have what it took to go through the same again.

For once, she had decided to trust her emotions. Her heart was wise, and serene. It knew better than anyone what she had to say, and how. She simply had to let go and abandon herself to it.

"There are no big words to explain what I want to say. Of course, I could quote an author or allude to some movie but I don't have these dreams of grandeur. What I want you to know is sweet and yet very simple. It has been thought, and analyzed. It is wanted. As a matter of fact, it is the best decision I have ever taken in my life."

Everyone had turned quiet. Maura didn't speak loudly and her voice was shaking but her guests were religiously listening to her. Perhaps they had understood the importance of the moment. They didn't know what their host was about to say but they could feel the strength that rose within Maura's words.

"There will be an extra person among us next year. In this exact patio. A very tiny person at first - but very important - who has already stolen my heart and is making my life brighter... Every single day." Maura let her own words invade her. The sweetness that rose from them caused her to laugh lightly. She was happy and she wanted people to know it, to share it with her. "If everything goes fine – and just as planned – we should be able to welcome this person in our lives in February which is... Which is when I'm due. I'm expecting a child."


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages. It's a pleasure to read each one of them and reply to you every day.**

 **Second Trimester**

 **Chapter Seven**

If Maura focused on her breathing then she could almost ignore the smell. It was simply a matter of concentration, of thinking about something else. She had a lot to do on this crime scene anyway, being busy was not a problem.

The current state of the corpse was terrible and there was no time to lose: it had to be taken to the morgue as soon as possible.

She knelt down next to it but another wave of nausea rushed through her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The area was loud. People were talking, officers were coming and going. She could hear the brouhaha of journalists in the distance and the traffic nearby. There was no fresh air. The temperatures were particularly high for September and she was hot. Too hot. A drop of sweat ran down her spine. Her clothes stuck to her life an uncomfortable second skin.

"Are you okay?"

Jane's voice rose on her right. Maura remained quiet, and still. She didn't open her eyes anew. She simply shook her head carefully and kept on fighting back her nausea.

It had only happened to her a couple of times until now. Curiously, her morning sickness – that could actually take place at any moment of the day – had appeared just after she had made her pregnancy official, on her birthday. She couldn't help thinking that it was how her body and her mind had reacted to the news, how she had finally and fully embraced it. Before that, she had simply tried to hide it. Just in case.

"Okay, follow me." Jane carefully grabbed her by the elbow to make her stand back on her feet. "C'mon... Let's go sit down for a while."

Maura didn't protest. She couldn't afford to be sick next to the corpse. Not only did it have chances to ruin clues but it would also be very humiliating. Too many people were watching. She was being observed. The chief medical examiner couldn't be sick on a crime scene. It would be ridiculous.

"There. Sit down."

She let Jane take her a bit further. In the shadows. Maura counted until ten in her head and finally opened her eyes anew as she felt the wave of nausea go away. She checked her surroundings. Jane had made her sit down on outdoor steps that led to the building next door.

"Are you thirsty? Do you want to drink some water?"

Maura shook her head. She wished she could say something back but she still felt too dizzy for that. She cast a glance at the journalists. A few of them were staring at her. They looked worried and curious.

Everybody had welcomed the news of her pregnancy warmly. On her birthday, she had gone from one pair of arms to another as exclamations of joy had risen over the small patio of her house. She had then made her pregnancy official at work where she had received the exact same kind of reaction. People were genuinely happy for her, which warmed up her heart a lot.

"Maybe Kent could replace you." Jane passed a soothing hand on her friend's forehead. Maura looked very pale, and she was shaking. She obviously couldn't work right now. "You know, just for today."

"No."

Maura clenched her fists and pursed her lips. She was doing just fine. Just because she was expecting a child didn't mean that – all of a sudden – she wasn't worth of doing her job anymore. She was barely four-month pregnant. It was way too early to slow down.

"Maura..."

Another wave of nausea caused her to close her eyes again. Except this time, her self-anger melted into a terrible frustration that made her lips tremble. Tears reached her eyes and she began to sob silently. She had rarely experienced something so frustrating, and humiliating. Her job was more than just a job. It was her passion, and she dedicated herself to it with a complete abandon. Renouncing to it because she suddenly lacked what it took to do it was very upsetting.

Jane's soft voice brought her a certain relief though.

"You know what? We're going to take the body to the morgue. Now." Jane dismissed an officer as soon as she saw him approach. She wasn't done and didn't want to be interrupted by any third party. "Meanwhile, you go talk to the press. We can do without your first on-site medical remarks. It's okay."

The compromise wasn't comforting but it seemed reasonable enough. Thus Maura gave her friend a timid nod and swept away her tears with the back of her hand. She felt stupid, and miserable. Immensely tired too.

The corpse was already in decomposition. Her team was working on it. All she had to do was to give them orders. It was easy. She could do it.

She and Jane waited two minutes more before standing up again. Maura's nausea was gone but she honestly didn't feel fine yet. Thus she followed her friend's plan and walked straight towards the few journalists who were waiting for her first reactions. She took a deep breath and forced herself to look enthusiastic when the only thing she wanted was to curl up in a ball and wait for her morning sickness to disappear completely.

"Hello, Dr. Isles... And congratulations, by the way. You and the father must be very happy. When are you due? It's going to bring changes around. Who's going to replace you during your maternity leave?"

The enthusiastic tone of voice that the journalist used went straight to Maura's heart but she found herself a bit vulnerable before the remark itself. However, she had always known that this would happen at some point. It was inevitable.

"Thank you very much. There is no father though." She passed a hand on her stomach subconsciously as her forceful smile hurt her lips. The situation was awkward. "I'm due in February which means I still should be around for a while."

Until the last minute if she could. She absolutely didn't want anyone to replace her, not even temporarily. She had been assigned the position of the chief medical examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts and she was determined to fulfill her role until further notice. Besides, she and her team did a great job. She loved being at the head of the morgue.

"Oh..." The journalist cast a glance at Jane who was in full talk with Korsak a few feet away before focusing back on Maura again. He flashed her a bright smile. "I see."

...

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Maura. Elizabeth Pearl is a friend of mine..." Dr. Elsa Whitman held out her hand for Maura to shake it. "I'm always really happy when I can keep a connection with the IVF clinic. They like it a lot too."

Maura gave the woman a nod. She hadn't really needed a lot of time to choose Dr. Whitman as her ob/gyn for the next few months. Hope knew her and Dr. Pearl had also mentioned her when Maura had told her IVF medical doctor that she didn't have an ob/gyn yet for her pregnancy.

"It's a pleasure to meet you as well. Dr. Pearl only had good things to say about you."

Elsa Whitman smiled back. She then looked at Jane and held out her hand for Jane to shake it too. The smile that played on her lips remained the same all along. It was a serene smile, warm.

"And... You must be... Her partner?"

Maura blushed heavily. Obviously Elizabeth Pearl hadn't talked about Jane to Elsa Whitman. She cast a glance at her friend who was just as mortified as she was.

Things were awkwardly sweet between her and Jane since they had shared this breakfast in bed for her birthday. Maura hadn't forgotten how aroused she had been when Jane had touched her stomach and the feeling now haunted her mind. Besides, her own mother – Constance Isles – kept on making allusions to them raising her child together. If Maura was happy to see her mother so invested in the pregnancy, she didn't really know what to think about her constant remarks regarding her love life. At least Angela remained quiet on the matter. Jane's mother had thrown herself in a baby frenzy and could hardly talk about anything else.

"No, I'm... I'm Maura's friend. I'll just... Ahem..." Jane cleared her voice. "I'll just go through it with her...? I'm here to accompany her all along... The journey."

"Oh, I see. My bad." Dr. Whitman laughed lightly. She was in her forties and seemed to be very sweet, very attentive. "It's always a good thing when the future mother – who is single - can count on someone else. A pregnancy is a beautiful thing but it can be tough at times too."

Jane gave the doctor a nod. She had taken her day off and had insisted on coming with Maura to the first appointment because she found it to be very important. Besides, she wanted to meet Dr. Whitman. She had got used to Dr. Pearl and she missed her a lot.

Maura didn't often ask Jane to be around out loud but Jane knew that her presence was implicitly wanted. It wasn't a burden anyway. On the contrary. She wanted to be here, she wanted to bring a full support to her friend. It also helped her ease the pain of her miscarriage. Like a behavioral therapy of some sort. Or at least it was how she felt about it. Such feeling had taken her by surprise but it brought an immense relief to her bruised soul.

"I see that Maura has chosen you to be the second referent." Dr. Elsa Whitman looked at the forms Maura had filled. She leafed through them quickly. "I have your phone number, your address... Excellent." The woman gave Jane a comforting smile but she suddenly looked a bit uncomfortable. Obviously what she was about to say bothered her. "You are officially the person we have to call if someone happens to your friend and - or - to her child. However, I need to remind you that – unfortunately – you don't have any legal right on Maura's baby."

Such piece of information wasn't new. As a matter of fact, Jane had already thought about it. A lot. She couldn't do much against the law, thus she accepted it.

"Yeah, we know that."

Dr. Whitman's sincerity was warm, and friendly. Jane appreciated it. It was only fair to remind her how she stood before the law. Dr. Whitman was simply being professional. Besides, she looked really sorry. Jane could say that the woman did not necessarily like such law.

"Good. Of course, the two of you still have the possibility to change your legal status at any time. It's just how things are right now. I wanted to make sure you knew how it worked."

Jane nodded anew. She did, she knew how it worked. Unfortunately.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for the reviews!**

 **Chapter Eight**

Jane waited for Maura to walk into the dressing room to go and sit down on one of the comfortable leather armchairs that had been settled just by the heavy linen curtain that now separated her from her friend. She let a quiet sigh of relief pass her lips and closed her eyes for brief seconds as a smile of pure joy lit up her traits.

A day of shopping was always synonym of torture in her head but Maura needed new clothes. And lingerie. Maternity shopping was only sweet and entertaining if you had someone by your side. Of course, Jane had abdicated before her friend's arguments. She always did.

At least Maura dragged her to expensive boutiques with fitting rooms bigger and more comfortable than her Back Bay apartment so if torture there was then it happened to be a rather sweet one.

Jane took advantage of her break to think about the case she and Korsak were working on. She was on her day off but – as usual under such circumstances – her mind remained focused on her job. She thought about the evidence they had gathered until now, and what was left to do. She felt a bit stressed. The case was important, and delicate to handle.

Her daydreams got suddenly interrupted by the sound of Maura's shoes landing on the hardwood floor. Just on her right, a few inches away from her.

Jane looked at her reflection in the mirror opposite hers. She seemed to be genuinely happy. Her eyes were glimmering of delight and her traits were graceful. For once, she felt like saying that she was actually rather pretty.

And then she noticed it.

The angle of the mirror was such that she could see Maura getting undressed. Her friend hadn't closed the curtain properly and the few inches of space between it and the frame of the dressing room revealed her generous curves.

Jane swallowed hard. She knew it was wrong but she couldn't help watching.

Her eyes had fixed upon Maura's back at first but they now followed the travel of the zipper down the dress Maura was wearing. Maura unzipped it and stepped out of it. She went to hang it at reach.

The boutique was quiet, and rather empty. Thus both women were alone in the large space dedicated to all the dressing rooms. Jane would have moved if other customers had been there. But the circumstances were such that she abandoned herself to a shameful contemplation of her friend.

Fascinated, Jane observed Maura's legs, her garter belt and her stockings. The refine lingerie embraced Maura's feminine curves with grace and delicacy. She moved her hands to her back in order to unhook her bra with casualness.

Jane could only see her friend sideways now but the position still revealed a lot more than what she should have seen. Maura's breasts appeared before her eyes. Round, and full. Mesmerized and a lot more vulnerable than what she would ever admit, Jane succumbed to a quiet fantasy.

She suddenly wondered what it would feel like to brush Maura's garter belt with her fingertips, to feel the heat of her body under her touch until her skin made real contact with her friend's as she would reach her hips. Her lips would soon replace her hands as she would make it to her breasts. The fantasy was intense, and extremely realistic. Too realistic.

Jane could almost feel Maura's aroused nipples under the tip of her tongue and the sigh of pleasure that would pass her friend's lips as she would spread her legs to quietly invite Jane to more intimacy.

Jane blushed as she suddenly wondered what her friend could taste like. She knew her perfume but perhaps the mix with her skin provided a different cocktail whenever you licked her body.

"Jane?"

Maura's voice – as soft as it was – caused Jane to jump. Her shameful fantasies vanished in the air and she immediately stood up. Instinctively. Yet she didn't have to and she soon felt very stupid.

"Yeah?"

Maura seemed to hesitate for long seconds. The silence that followed Jane's reply betrayed an obvious awkwardness that neither of them really managed to deal with. That same awkwardness they had been feeling since Maura's birthday.

"Come in, please. I need your advice."

Jane rolled her eyes. She wasn't frustrated at all. She simply felt too aroused and embarrassed to walk into the dressing room where Maura was standing in nothing but her underwear. The mere reminiscence – even the shortest one – of her latest fantasy kept on burning in her lower stomach.

"I'm not a bra specialist, Maura." But her friend had already opened the curtain to invite her to come in. Thus Jane obliged. "If you feel comfortable in it then buy it."

She cast a furtive glance at her friend who didn't seem bothered at all by her semi-nudity.

As a matter of fact, Maura completely assumed it. She felt fine and at peace with her body, even now that she had put on weight and that her curves had changed. A pout played on her lips as she observed her reflection in the large mirror.

"Do you like it? It is comfortable – I feel at ease in it – but... It looks basic."

Maura made a step backwards to put a bit more distance between her and the mirror. Only a few inches separated her from Jane, now. As a matter of fact, Jane's hand brushed Maura's hip accidentally for they were very close to each other.

Jane went to make a step backwards but the armchair prevented her from doing so. She hadn't entered the dressing room from the right side and there was very little space left between her and the piece of furniture in her back.

She forced herself to look at Maura's reflection in the mirror. At her breasts.

The bra was indeed very classic but it did its job. In a very nice way. The lowcut was feminine, and graceful. Even more now that Maura's breasts had got bigger.

For a quick second, Jane thought about all these people who used to say that pregnant women didn't look good. Maura was the proof they were utterly wrong. She looked even more beautiful than she usually did. Pregnancy suited her.

"I don't know... It..." Jane's sentence died in her throat as Maura made a tiny step backwards again. She was literally molding her body against Jane's, now. "What are the other options?"

The moment was hard to handle. Jane was breathing loudly and she could feel her own body's reaction to the scene. She was turned on. A lot more than on Maura's birthday when she had touched her friend's stomach.

Maura unhooked the bra and casually grabbed the other one. Her sudden gesture made Jane look into the opposite direction immediately. She was trapped in a rather small dressing room with her friend who was freely going around topless.

What should have been an innocent afternoon between two women was turning into a storm of powerful feelings and incomprehensible reactions.

Jane felt lost. And guilty.

"I like this one." Maura put on the aforesaid bra and tried to adjust it. Sadly she couldn't reach the strap properly. She turned her head to look at Jane then she motioned the strap. "Could you... Please?"

If Jane didn't know better then she would have sworn that Maura was flirting with her. She was very touchy-feely and the furtive glances she cast at their reflection in the mirror were quite telling. But it didn't make sense. It didn't make sense at all. Jane was probably and simply under the effect of her own secret fantasies.

...

Maura had read many books about pregnancy. As a matter of fact, she had focused on nothing but the subject during her first trimester. Thus, she knew every stage by heart and she could hardly be surprised by whatever she may now feel. The issue was that knowledge didn't always solve a concrete situation and – right now – she felt horny.

Her morning sickness had got reduced to a mere nothing since Jane had offered her sea sick bands. Her days were light and joyful anew, so much actually that all she could think about was sex.

Sadly her current celibacy didn't match her desires and it was immensely frustrating.

"Masturbation provides me the sexual release I need but I am always left wanting more. I miss... I miss a human touch, I miss someone's presence by my side." She sighed heavily. "I need a lover. I need someone."

"Ask Jane."

Maura rolled her eyes. She shouldn't have started such conversation with her mother because it was the perfect excuse for her mother to make an umpteenth remark about her and Jane's friendship. Yet she needed to talk about it and Jane was too shy to handle the intimacy of the subject.

Maura and Constance weren't particularly close to each other but sex had never been a taboo between the two of them. As a matter of fact, it had even been part of Maura's education since the very beginning: her parents had insisted on the importance of talking about it in order to understand a few things and to go forward as soon as Maura had become a teen or even a pre-teen. Thus Maura's romantic life had very little secrets for her mother. She spoke freely about it which was relieving.

"Please, I'm being serious."

Constance scoffed. She had decided to spend two weeks in Boston. She had rescheduled a couple of art exhibitions in order to spend more time with her daughter. Maura's pregnancy had changed her priorities. She may not admit it openly but she felt the urge to be closer to her daughter now that Maura was expecting a baby.

It wouldn't change anything to their past but she still felt the urge to catch back on missed opportunities.

"I'm being serious as well. Believe it or not." Constance moved on her seat with a subtle discretion and leaned over the table slightly. The brasserie her daughter had chosen for lunch was cozy. She liked it. However, they lacked intimacy. "Do you really think I don't see the way you look at her? And don't blame any so-called hormonal mess, Maura. Assume some facts. I raised my daughter so she wouldn't be ashamed of who she is and how she feels. I didn't say anything until now - because I honestly thought it had already happened - but this pregnancy changes everything... I see through your game, Maura. I know what you are doing."

"It's..."

The truth was that Maura felt guilty because she had subconsciously released her sexual frustration on Jane the day before when they had gone shopping. Her attitude towards her friend had been anything but innocent. And it was wrong.

She couldn't use Jane the way she had had in that dressing room. It was indecent and not the way a friend was supposed to behave with another one.

Jane was being the sweetest since Maura had told her that she was pregnant. She was supportive, and caring. Very attentive. Just the way Maura had hoped her to be. Thus Maura couldn't allow herself to play with her.

"What? Say it."

Constance's very direct remark caused Maura to pause. She let a thousand emotions pass underneath her skin and mess up with her heart. By the time these emotions made it to her head, she felt lost and empty. Almost resigned. She bowed her head and gave her mother a desperate shrug.

"It's complicated."


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for the reviews and for the messages, I promise I will reply to your messages within the next few days.**

 **Chapter Nine**

On sunny days, you could see the harbor that pierced between the buildings and a tiny ribbon of blue that spread in the distance. The ocean. An incredible view. Jane loved it here. The roof of the BPD building brought her a serenity that she could hardly find anywhere else when she was at work. Of course, she knew that she wasn't the only one who loved this temporary escape from the frenzy of criminal cases but she always managed to find herself alone on top of the building when needed.

Just like now.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The air burned her lungs at the same time as a cool breeze slid on her nape and made her shiver. The temperatures had dropped and the summer was now officially gone. The fall was coming.

She sat down on the ground, against the brick wall next to the door that led downstairs and observed the breathtaking view in silence. She could hear the murmur of the traffic below but it was so far that it almost sounded like a lullaby. It was the pace that she currently needed, something that would comfort her and help her to understand a few things.

Maura. What had happened at the lingerie boutique had confused Jane a lot more than what she had hoped to at first. It made sense though, because it seemed to be coming out of nowhere. As much as she tried to be honest with herself, she couldn't remember having been turned on by her friend in the past the way she now was. She wanted to understand, she needed it.

A part of her was afraid that it was simply some sort of transfer because she wouldn't have overcome her miscarriage and that what she took for a sexual desire was actually envy and nothing else. Just that. Pure envy. Yet a little voice kept on singing a different song in her head. A song she didn't know what to do of.

Jane wanted to sleep with her friend. It wasn't common. Of course, it did happen but most of friendships didn't take such drastic turn. As a matter of fact, she wanted more than just sex. It went beyond a shivering skin and sensual caresses. She wanted feelings, and emotions.

Maura's pregnancy had made her life tip over. She had overcome the surprise by now but she had been overwhelmed by the prospect of a different future. It was from this giant mess of intense feelings that she had begun to develop fantasies of a different life with her friend. She could picture out everything, from the way they would hold hands to the soft words they would speak at night in each other's ears.

She wanted a relationship, a romantic relationship.

 _What if I'm wrong?_ Against all expectations, Jane felt ready for it. She simply hesitated because she wasn't certain of the nature of her feelings. She didn't want to fool Maura only to realize that what she actually wanted was to live vicariously through her friend.

But then maybe Maura wasn't interested in her in the same way. There were even a lot of chances for Maura to not see Jane the way Jane saw her. She probably didn't have any fantasy about a life together, a life made of smiles and promises of endless kisses.

"Fuck it."

Frustration grew within herself. She closed her eyes anew then leaned her head backwards against the brick wall. She felt stuck at a crossroad.

Frost's smile appeared before her closed eyes. She swallowed hard. She missed her colleague a lot. His absence weighed on her shoulders, even more now. She wished he had been here to be part of all of this. Frost used to love children. He would have been thrilled by Maura's pregnancy. Perhaps he would have been the godfather of the baby.

A nostalgic smile played on Jane's lips. Subconsciously.

She had lost a lot more than just a colleague on that night. She had lost a friend - a really good one - and a part of her life. The world hadn't stopped turning but something had irremediably changed nonetheless. And she didn't like it.

As vulnerability embraced her, she crossed her arms against her chest and tried to concentrate on the memories she had of Frost. From the day they had met to the last time they had talked. If he were still here then she would push her fears aside and would ask him for advices. She knew that he wouldn't mock her, because he had always been sincere.

 _Gone too soon. Cruelly._

...

Half-asleep, Maura walked downstairs and went straight to the kitchen. She stretched her arms and yawned. She was hungry and felt thirsty. She poured herself a mug of theine free black tea and grabbed a Bounty chocolate bar before heading to the couch slowly.

She had overslept. As a matter of fact, she had been sleeping a lot lately. Her body needed it. If she had never liked them until now, days off like today's were currently a real blessing.

"Good morning." Constance entered the house. She dropped the newspapers Maura had received on the coffee table and went to pour herself a mug of tea. She was in a good mood. "How are you doing?"

Maura rubbed her stomach through her grey angora wool jersey. The skin was tense but she had got addicted to the timid round shape of her stomach. She loved caressing it. She often lost herself in daydreams - sweet ones – when she did so. It was cliché but she couldn't help it.

"I'm fine... I suppose."

The truth was that she was frustrated. Sexually frustrated. She hadn't become obsessed with sex but she couldn't ignore her inner desires either. The situation drove her crazy and made her feel a tad grumpy. Her lack of enthusiasm showed in her answer. Constance burst out laughing.

"You are having junk food for breakfast?" Constance pursed her lips in disapproval. "You need to have a healthier diet, Maura. We don't eat chocolate bars for breakfast."

"I know but I'm craving chocolate and coconut." Sadly she had drawned a line under coffee. She still enjoyed the smell but the taste made her feel nauseous. It was the kind of side-effect she could have done without. "It's just a Bounty chocolate bar."

Maura leaned over to pick up one of the newspapers she had subscribed to. She settled further on the couch and opened the publication at a random page. A portrait caught her attention. She immediately frowned and began to read the article attached to the illustration with a frenzy that didn't pass unnoticed.

"What's going on?" Constance had come to sit down on one of the armchairs. She had planned on spending the day with an old friend but her daughter's sudden reaction worried her and she wasn't in a hurry to leave anymore. "Maura?"

Maura barely heard her mother call her name. The world could have stopped turning that she wouldn't have noticed the slightest thing because her life had collapsed the moment she had begun to read the article she currently had in hands.

A disaster.

"Oh God..."

She swallowed hard. The relative peace of her morning had just been swept away by the terrible work of a so-called journalist. An anonymous one, besides. She scoffed which piqued Constance's curiosity even more.

"Is everything alright?"

This time Maura looked up at her mother. She stared at her with big – panicked – hazel eyes. She shook her head as a sigh of distress passed her lips.

"It's a disaster."

Of course, Constance had immediately understood that Maura's reaction was linked to whatever was published in the newspapers she was holding. That's why she grabbed it and began to read the article herself.

Her reaction couldn't turn out to be more different than her daughter's though.

"Oh, this is glorious." Constance burst out laughing. " _A Very Alive Surprise At The Morgue:_ _Does Dr. Maura Isles, the chief medical examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, lead a secret life?_ "

"How can you find it funny?" Maura scoffed. The so-called journalist basically implied in his or her article that she – Maura – was in a romantic relationship with Jane and that they were both expecting a child now. "It's a tragedy!"

Constance looked up from the newspapers. She raised an eyebrow at her daughter and pouted. She obviously didn't share Maura's point of view on the matter.

"Since when being in a same-sex relationship is an issue for you?"

"Since none of this is true." Maura rolled her eyes. She forced herself to take a sip of tea but she didn't enjoy the drink one bit. "I don't mind... The whole thing. I mean... I don't really mind about it. Besides, it's only gossip. The issue is Jane. She's going to be mad at it. She's quoted in it."

Constance set the newspapers down on the coffee table but she didn't close it. She let it open on the page that had Maura's portrait on it next to the article that said she and Jane had a secret affair. In big, bold characters.

"Oh, please. The two of you know that none of this is true so why caring so much about it? Besides, what this journalist says makes a lot of sense. As a matter of fact, he or she is very close to the truth."

"Which part, exactly?"

Constance ignored Maura's latent sarcastic tone. Her daughter was angry but she wasn't and she showed a complete self-control right now.

"The fact you and Jane are constantly together, the fact she takes care of you so much... The fact many people meet their significant other at their work place. Have you forgotten how I met your father?"

"Don't take it badly but I honestly don't think you're the best example when it comes to a healthy and stable marriage."

Constance stood up as she was getting late. Maura's remark didn't bother her the slightest bit. She even found it funny.

"Healthy marriages aren't necessarily meant to be exclusive, Maura. It's a cliché. Besides, I've always accepted his affairs..." Constance grabbed her jacket. She put it on and planted a soft kiss on her daughter's forehead. "Just as he's always accepted mine."

The revelation got the effect of an icy shower on Maura. She had certainly not expected this. The shock linked to the article found an echo in the shocking news her mother had just dropped.

"What?!"

But Constance had already reached the door. She winked at her daughter – opened the door – and let a mischievous smirk light up her lips. She looked very amused.

"Have a nice day, _ma chérie*_. Enjoy your day off. Take care of you and your baby."

Constance left. She closed the door quietly, leaving a very perplexed and confused Maura on the couch of the living-room.

...

 _*ma chérie: (my) dear_


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews, I'm glad to see you like this story so far and since you are enjoying Constance then I'll make sure she's into more scenes.**

 **Chapter Ten**

"I'm starving! Have you ordered yet?"

Jane sat down at the table Nina had chosen. She grabbed the menu and quickly leafed through it. Her morning meditation session on the roof of the BPD had brought her the temporary serenity she needed and she now felt fine. At peace. Happy.

"No, I was waiting for you... But your brother told me their cheeseburger was excellent."

Jane looked up at her colleague. She liked Nina – a lot – but the truth was that she didn't know her much. Since Maura was on her day off and wouldn't show up at the BPD, Jane had decided to invite Nina to a small diner that she had wanted to try for a while. Nina had immediately accepted and she now seemed to be very happy to share a moment with Jane.

Jane was also glad to find a feminine presence at work besides Maura. The BPD was very male oriented and - at times - it weighed a bit on her shoulders.

The only issue was that Nina was a bitter reminder of Frost's absence. Of course, Jane would have never said it out loud but it was how she felt, and how she saw things. Nina had been hired after the passing of Jane's colleague. The young woman didn't replace him per se but it was how Jane lived it to an extent. Seeing Nina caused her to miss Frost even more.

Jane was nonetheless eager to make an effort because Nina was nice and because she now dated Frankie so she was family. It was time for Jane to get to know her better.

"As long as it comes with French fries..." Jane set the menu down on the table. She gave Nina a smile before rolling her eyes very dramatically. "Maura wants me to slow down on French fries. Please don't tell her it's what I'm gonna have."

The remark made Nina burst out laughing. She gave Jane a mischievous wink. A very meaningful one. The waitress came to take their orders and it is only once she left anew that Nina resumed the conversation she and Jane were having.

"How is Maura doing?"

The question took Jane aback. Of course, she appreciated Nina's concern but she didn't understand it for Nina saw Maura on a daily basis. Both women worked in the same building and often cooperated on cases. Too polite to let her confusion show, Jane shrugged and gladly accepted the large glass of water that the waitress brought her.

"Fine, she's doing fine. The baby's development is perfect and Dr. Whitman – it's the doctor who follows Maura's pregnancy – says that both mother and child are doing fantastic."

 _It is an easy pregnancy_. These were the exact words Dr. Whitman had used. They had reassured Jane a lot and she was now dying to make it to the next appointment because she knew that they would be able to identify the gender of the baby which was something that she didn't want to miss.

As much as she had read online articles and testimonials on the matter, she hadn't managed to draw a conclusion for Maura: boy or girl, the baby's gender remained a complete mystery to her. Her friend was craving sweet and salty food, her bump did not look low nor high. It was all very neutral which Jane found a tad frustrated. She wanted to know if Little M was a Maura or a Maur-o.

"She must be thrilled. Maternity is..." Nina tilded her head as she abandoned herself to personal thoughts. A delicate smile played on her lips. "It must be a very unique experience."

The first trimester of Maura's pregnancy had gone very fast but Jane had now the feeling that things were slowing down a bit. She liked it because she wanted to take the most of this moment. Maura hadn't talked about it but Jane assumed that it was the only pregnancy her friend would go through. Thus it made it even more unique.

A stack of newspapers abandoned on the table caught her attention on her left.

She grabbed the first one and began to read the headlines. She hadn't had time to read the news this morning yet since the world had kept on turning then she assumed that nothing big had happened. Or at least not in the Boston area. She opened the newspaper very casually and leafed through it, ready to make fun of some news with Nina.

Her eyes stopped on a portrait of someone she knew very well: Maura.

"What on Earth..." A latent nervousness showed in Jane's voice and in her traits that immediately deepened. She cast a very furtive glance at Nina before concentrating on the article linked to the photograph. It didn't take her long to react. "What the fuck is that damn shit?!"

All the customers and waiters stopped in their tracks to turn their head and stare in disbelief at a furious Jane and at a very mortified Nina.

...

"She slept with the gardener. It has to be the gardener. They used to be close.. Way too close." Maura stepped into her walk-in closet and began to contemplate the different clothing options she had. "It couldn't be more cliché!" She passed her hand on her stomach and let an ironical laugh slide on her lips. "Please don't ever do this, Bubble. Please be creative and don't have an affair with the gardener. Nor with the cook. Even less with the tennis instructor. Oh yes, the tennis instructor! Yes, I have slept with my yoga instructor once but it's different. It wasn't a personal class! Ugh. Just, don't sleep with anyone."

Once the shock of the news her mother had dropped had faded away, Maura had finally stood up from the couch to start the day. Her wise resolution hadn't lasted very long though and she had spent most of the morning eating chocolate bars in order to compensate her current level of stress.

It was almost 1pm now and she still had to get dressed.

Wrapped in her comfortable bathrobe and fresh from the shower, Maura grabbed a dress and observed it closely before putting it back on its rack. It was one of these days when her productivity would flirt with an absolute zero and she hated it. But then she wasn't the one to blame.

Her mother was – for having told her she had had affairs – and this terrible newspaper was to blame as well for spreading rumors about her and Jane.

She didn't need this extra source of stress. She had medical files to revise and a journal to read as well as a baby in the making to take care of. Yet Jane's silence made her feel nervous. Maura didn't know how to take it. Of course, the article hadn't got published in the _Boston Globe_ but she knew for a fact Jane always read different newspapers in the morning.

Thus the chances her friend had come across it were high. Very high.

Jane would take it badly. As a matter of fact, she would freak out and would storm out of the BPD only to realize that she didn't have anywhere to go in order to release her frustration. Maura could picture out the scene. It was all too clear in her head.

Jane was way too conscious. Of everything. She was body-conscious and she felt very vulnerable before gossip. She had a hard time accepting jokes from her colleagues who insinuated exactly what the newspaper had published in black and white. Maura wrinkled her nose: nope, her friend wouldn't like it one bit.

And then there was her mother – Constance Isles – whose definition of being faithful was not the same as Maura's.

"Be free, Bubble. Embrace your sexual life. I mean it." Maura cast a glance at her reflection in the large mirror of her walk-in closet. If a third party had witnessed her right now then chances were that she would have been taken for a crazy woman. She was talking to her uterus, after all. It was ridiculous, and absolutely not sane. "But please, not the gardener."

She finally picked up a pair of black pants that would match her grey angora wool sweater. She hadn't gone outside yet but she could say that the air was crispy. She felt it in her bones, in the cold blue of the sky. It was a beautiful day of October but the temperatures were low.

She abandoned the pants on the British armchair that had been set next to her impressive collection of shoes and she was about to untie her bathrobe when she heard the main door get open. Her mother must have forgotten something.

"I'm upstairs!"

It took her five seconds to recognize the steps. These weren't her mother's but Jane's. Maura swallowed hard. She closed her eyes and began to breathe as slowly as she could. Her heart was beating too fast and her hands were shaking. She knew why Jane had stopped by. She knew it way too well.

She saw her friend appear on the door frame. Jane was holding the newspaper. Her fist was clenched. Maura rolled her eyes and let a heavy – loud – sigh pass her lips as she raised both arms to apologize.

"It isn't my fault but I'm going to call my attorneys and they will solve this issue in no time. I honestly have better things to do right now. Not only am I supposed to prepare dinner – since I've invited you, your mother and mine – but I also have to face a last-minute... Ugh! Last-minute family bombs."

Jane hadn't moved an inch. She looked impassive but Maura couldn't notice it for she was lost in the ocean of words that were currently passing her lips. She walked to the tank top section of her walk-in closet and picked up a basic white top. A silky one.

"You will never guess what I've learned, this morning... Besides..." She motioned the newspaper Jane was holding. " _That_."

She needed to talk about her mother's revelation because it weighed a lot on her mind. Of course, a thousand other things haunted her right now but her mother's infidelity was a topic that she could easily talk about with Jane. Unlike her sexual frustration and her tiny but constant desire to sleep with her friend.

Maura walked back to the armchair. She dropped the tank top next to the pants before turning around to look at Jane. Hands on her hips.

"My mother told me that she and my father had been having affairs since... Forever... And that it's perfectly normal." She paused, and waited for a reaction that sadly didn't come. "Jane? Please, say something." A wave of doubts rushed through Maura's veins. Perhaps she had been too selfish and Jane didn't want to talk about the Isles' peculiar marital habits. "You're mad because of this article, aren't you? Of course, you are. But it's not my fault! Say something. Come on, you can't..."

The end of Maura's sentence never hit the air. The words found themselves trapped in her throat the moment Jane rushed to her and captured her lips in an unexpected kiss full of eagerness.


	11. Chapter 11

**WARNING - The rating of the story changes for this chapter. It's exceptionally M rated. / Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews, I really appreciate them.**

 **Chapter Eleven**

 _Jane is too impulsive. She rushes head first into something and thinks about the consequences afterward. She's asking for troubles. Really._ The moment was inappropriate to think about her sixth grade teacher but as soon as Jane's lips found Maura's and she pushed her friend against the wall of the walk-in closet, Jane couldn't help thinking about Sister Alma's words. Because it was exactly what she had just done: she had rushed head first into something that she didn't control at all and which consequences remained blurry.

The kiss wasn't planned. She had come to her friend's house to discuss the article but Maura's verbal frenzy had pushed her to succumb to a very primary behavior.

At no moment had Jane imagined that she would kiss Maura to make her turn quiet. But now that her tongue brushed her friend's with eagerness and lust, she knew that it was what she wanted.

She couldn't stop anymore. Something had got unleashed, something that had been lying deep inside within herself. The roughness of the kiss higlighted a frustration that she had been holding back for too long and Maura's sighs dying in her mouth let her understand that her friend was just alike. They had to do it. They had to go for it.

Unable to break the kiss and wanting for more, Jane slid a hand underneath Maura's bathrobe. The piece of clothing was loose and the gesture caused it to get untied within a second. Soon her fingertips found the heat of Maura's waist, and of her curved stomach. This skin she had dreamed about caressing in secret.

Fresh from the shower, Maura hadn't had time to put on a bra yet. Thus she quickly found herself half-naked – wearing only a pair of hipsters – the moment her bathrobe slid down her shoulders like a lustful caress and it landed on the floor next to the newspaper that Jane had dropped earlier on.

Of course, Maura had responded to the kiss immediately. It had taken her aback and it had raised a wave of confusion that now twirled in her head but the situation was such that she had had to respond to Jane's move.

Breathless, Jane reluctantly let go of Maura's lips but – instead of putting an end to the abrupt embrace – she began to trace a path down her friend's neck with the tip of her tongue while her hands headed straight towards Maura's breasts. The staccato pace of their hearts matched the frenzy of their gestures, of the urge that seemed to emanate from the moment. The sexual tension that had built these past few weeks had finally reached its point of no-return and both women were now succumbing to it with a completely assumed vulnerability.

Maura leaned her head backwards and closed her eyes as Jane's lips reached her neck. She really didn't understand what was going on but her brain had shut down anyway. She needed something a lot more instinctive, and primary. She buried a hand in Jane's hair and let her knee go up her friend's thigh. The roughness of the moment was a complete turn-on and matched the sexual arousal she had been feeling for a while. It was exactly what she needed, and now.

A quiet moan of pleasure passed her lips when she felt the tip of Jane's tongue brush her nipple. The audacity Jane showed was unexpected but extremely arousing. Maura had never imagined that her friend would dare to be sweetly authoritative yet it was exactly what was happening now and Maura loved it.

She didn't need foreplay and the urge of Jane's gestures made it clear that Jane didn't need any either. The sexual tension was palpable, and the atmosphere electric. They were both aroused.

Maura gasped as Jane passed her hand underneath her hipsters and she slid a finger inside her core. The gesture couldn't be more direct nor bolder. Maura welcomed it with a silent satisfaction. She was glad to see that her friend didn't want to lose time in caresses because her arousal had already reached its peak and she now needed her release.

Jane's pace took Maura aback so much that she desperately tried to grab the wall in her back in order to keep her balance. The palm of her hand hit the wall loudly but her fingers slid on the dull surface.

They weren't making love. They were having sex, rough sex. It wasn't about candlelight and beautiful promises of a better tomorrow. It was about a need they had been craving for too long. And it fit, in the most glorious and sensual way ever.

If Maura didn't wonder what had pushed Jane to kiss her in the first place anymore, the self-confidence her friend now showed really piqued her curiosity. Jane's gestures were precise, and very efficient. Very telling. They had never talked about it but it was obvious that it wasn't the first time Jane did this.

A sexual frustration could lead to the roughness they were experiencing now but not to the boldness Jane currently showed. There was something else, something that had remained untold.

Maura arched her back under Jane's inner touch. Her friend had sped up the pace anew and Maura's inner bone was way too sensitive now to hold back the mere reaction from her body. Maura was close to her orgasm. Jane's lips may have abandoned her breasts to focus on her collarbone instead but her finger was going too fast against Maura's inner core to make it last any longer.

The intensity of her orgasm as it hit her made Maura gasp for air loudly. She felt Jane's finger get trapped inside her body as her inner muscles contracted and that she succumbed to the wave of pleasure that rushed throughout her body.

Life seemed to get suspended for long seconds during which Maura had the sentiment to float above her own body. Then it subdued and reality settled back in slowly. Very slowly.

But instead of catching her breath - instead of marking a pause - Maura immediately captured Jane's lips anew as soon as her friend released her finger from the hot and wet embrace of her inner body.

They weren't done. If Maura usually needed a break after reaching climax, things were different this time. Her sexual arousal had awoken anew and she wanted nothing but to feel Jane come under her own caresses.

...

"Have you already thought about a name? For the baby? You don't know the gender yet but you still can start thinking about names."

Angela grabbed a salad bowl and set it down on the kitchen counter before casting a glance at Maura who was busy opening a bottle of wine. Constance was smoking in the patio and Jane had headed back to her apartment to bring Jo Friday to Beacon Hill for the rest of the evening.

Maura shook her head but she didn't say anything back to Angela.

It was supposed to be a casual dinner but the context was extremely awkward. She and Jane had spent a large part of the afternoon in bed – once Maura had come against the wall of her walk-in closet – and facing their respective mothers for an intimate dinner just after was one of these life coincidences Maura didn't know how to handle.

"Do you have a baby name book? It's a fun side of a pregnancy. I loved reading through the names when I was pregnant. I'm sure you'll enjoy it too. Don't let Jane choose for you, though. She'd probably go for something terrible."

"Of course." Maura's whisper barely passed her lips. She grabbed the bottle and brought it to the dinner table. The table was set and they would start dinner as soon as Jane would be back here. "I will buy one this week."

Constance walked back in. She closed the patio door behind her and took her jacket off. She rubbed her hands together in order to warm up a little. It had been a cold day and the temperatures had dropped even more as soon as the night had fallen over Boston.

"What do you want to buy?"

"A baby name book." Angela answered for Maura. She and Constance got along in spite of their background differences. They respected and appreciated each other a lot which made Constance's Bostonian stay easier. "She's going to need one."

Constance gave Angela a nod. She walked to the table and checked the bottle of wine Maura had just brought. A smirk of approval played on her lips.

The main door flew open and Jane finally came in. Jo Friday was trotting by her side very happily. The dog knew Maura's house by heart. As a matter of fact, Jo probably considered the place as a second home since Jane often took her here.

Maura cast a glance at Jo Friday's bowl that she had just prepared. The dog went straight for it. Maura burst out laughing. She was in a good mood, in a very good mood.

"Someone is hungry."

Maura motioned the dog but a wave of warmth spread in her lower stomach as soon as she looked into Jane's eyes. Her sexual frustration was gone but she still felt deeply aroused.

They hadn't talked much about what had happened in the afternoon. As a matter of fact, they hadn't talked at all until they had realized that they had to stop and get up in order to go buy groceries for dinner. Their sexual encounters had been rough but immensely satisfying. Yet deprived of any word.

Perhaps they didn't need to speak and everything would make sense with a natural logic.

"Jo's not the only one who's hungry." Jane blushed heavily. The double-entendre of her remark was not appropriate. Her mother and Maura's mother were in the room. As a matter of fact, it couldn't be any wronger. She began to stutter as a wave of panic invaded her. "I mean... What's for dinner?"

"A filet mignon and roasted potatoes..."

Unlike Angela who seemed to have naturally found her place in the kitchen, Constance had preferred to go sit at the table instead. She didn't cook and didn't have any skill for it. She wasn't even interested in it.

However her eyes hadn't left Jane one second since Jane had entered the house. Constance observed her with attention but her face remained impassive. She didn't hide what she was doing but the reason of her act remained unknown.

And it made Jane feel uncomfortable. Of course, she had noticed Maura's mother's behavior. Anyone could have actually noticed it.

"Excellent." Jane looked at her mother in order to escape from Constance's eyes. The subterfuge didn't work out as well as expected though and Jane's nervousness showed in her suddenly thick accent. "Is there anythin' I can do, ma'?"

"Yes." Angela motioned the table where Constance and Maura were sitting. "Grab the sliced bread and take it to the table. Go sit down, Jane. You had a tough day at work. I'm almost done."

Jane obliged. She slowly walked to the table before sitting at her designated chair. Next to Maura, in front of her mother who was certain that she had worked hard all day at the BPD. It could hardly get more awkward.


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews, it's a pleasure to see that you're liking this story so far.**

 **Chapter Twelve**

Jane had bought way too much food but it made her feel happy. Besides, leftovers weren't really an issue. If there were leftovers at all. It was a sensitive subject – almost taboo - but Maura's appetite had been multipled by ten since she had hit her second trimester.

Of course, Maura wouldn't admit it but she honestly didn't have to since everyone could notice it. She ate a lot, really a lot. And not necessarily organic, healthy food.

"They didn't have this zucchini thing you love so much so I chose the eggplant pie. I hope you won't mind." Jane walked into Maura's office very casually. She set the different bags down on the coffee table then looked around for Maura who was nowhere to be seen. Yet Maura had told to stop by around 1pm and it was 1pm sharp. "Maura?"

It was the day after their friendship had suffered from a drastic change of nature. Perhaps they shouldn't even be talking about friendship anymore. Perhaps it was something else now, something that they both wanted and was now happening. The situation was sweet but blurry.

Jane hadn't spent the night over at Maura's after the dinner they had shared with their respective mothers because Constance was around. And because Maura looked tired. She was four-month pregnant, after all. And what they had done all along the afternoon was exhausting. Thus Jane had left her friend's home without sharing the mere kiss nor the mere look that may have revealed a thousand of untold things.

Perhaps Maura didn't want to be kissed anyway. Jane wasn't sure of anything anymore but she nonetheless felt serene. At peace with herself.

She had slept rather peacefully and had woken up in a good mood. The world kept on turning and life was happening. So she had headed to the BPD in order to start the day as if nothing had happened until Maura had sent her a text message to suggest her to have lunch at her office. Jane had immediately accepted.

"I'm here." Maura poked her head outside the bathroom door. She gave Jane a friendly smile. "I'm just washing my hands."

Maura finally walked in her office anew. She was still wearing a pair of black scrubs, not because she had just finished an autopsy but because med school students were spending the day at her office and she went from one demonstration to another constantly. Besides, the outfit was really comfortable. Ugly but comfortable.

She had put on weight and her stomach looked fuller now. It didn't pass unnoticed anymore, even under her black scrubs. It didn't look very big but it was clear that the chief medical examiner was pregnant. There was satisfaction in it.

"This isn't Thanksgiving, Jane. We aren't supposed to eat so much."

Maura's remark was nothing but a sign of politeness because she grabbed a falafel right away and began to chew on it with a glorious frenzy. She was hungry, very hungry.

"You're busy making a head – and arms – and legs, Maura. Eat. You need it."

The remark caused Maura's lips to curl up in a smile. She sat down next to Jane on the couch and observed the food her friend had bought. She was glad to see that her and Jane's bond hadn't changed, that they still could easily talk about everything and nothing at the same time. She had been a bit apprehensive in the morning because what had happened the day before could have had a bigger impact on their relationship but it didn't in the end. And it was comforting.

The last time they had found themselves alone - the day before - Jane had come under the tantalizing touch of Maura's tongue. The situation couldn't be more different now. If sex allowed you to skip talking, lunch hardly did.

"How are you doing?" Jane opened a can of diet Coke. She brought it to her lips and took a long sip of it. They could have talked about work but she didn't want to. She cared a lot more about Maura and the baby than the current files they were investigating. "I saw your students... In the hallway. They look younger and younger every year. It's a disaster."

"I'm fine." Maura's light laugh rose in the room as she found Jane's remark to be funny. "My legs hurt though. I've spent the whole morning standing up on my feet. My lower back hurts too. And my stomach weighs."

The sensation wasn't pleasant at all. If Maura enjoyed her new curves, she had a hard time dealing with the downside of a pregnancy. The sore body, the extreme fatigue at the end of the day. The sensitivity to smells. It was a part of the journey that she had ignored until now and it hit her back rather abruptly.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Maura should really slow down a bit but Jane knew better than to openly admit her thoughts. Besides, she didn't want to ruin the sweetness of the moment. She had been too afraid that things may be awkward between her and friend after the afternoon they had spent in bed that she was eager to remain neutral now. "Wait, don't move."

Jane set her can of Coke down on the table and came to sit closer to Maura. She slid a hand under Maura's top and began to rub her lower back slowly. Maura's skin was hot and smooth, just like the day before. Jane focused on the touch, on the sensations under her fingertips. A shiver ran down her spine and she swallowed hard as she accidentally brushed the hem of Maura's underwear.

"Do you like it?"

The question was rhetorical because Jane could feel Maura shiver under her touch. She didn't know if the impromptu massage relieved Maura's back pain or if it stirred up her arousal. Either way, Jane didn't feel eager to stop.

She did – though – the moment she looked into Maura's eyes and she closed the distance that separated her from her friend's lips. They kissed. Slowly. Sweetly. The frenzy of the day before was gone and it had been replaced by a graceful delicacy. The touch was soft, and unique. Jane deepened the kiss as soon as Maura slid a hand on her nape to pull her closer to her own body.

They had closed the door and the curtains were shut down too. Nobody would walk in the office without knocking on the door first. Thus they had all the time in the world and the necessary comfort in order to enjoy the moment that they were now sharing.

"Oh!"

Maura broke the kiss unexpectedly, without any warning. Her eyes widened in surprise as she brought a hand to her stomach. She remained still, and desperately silent.

"What's going on? Are you alright? Maura, speak to me. Please."

Jane didn't want to panic but the look on Maura's face wasn't very reassuring. Jane couldn't tell if her friend was happy or in pain. Maura seemed to be somewhere in between. As a matter of fact, she looked in shock. In real shock.

"The baby has kicked."

Maura had already felt something before – even more the night before which had made sense after all the sexual frenzy she had shared with Jane – but it had never been as clear as what she had just felt in her office while she and Jane were kissing. A mix of emotions invaded her driving her on the edge of tears.

Some things made sense because she had planned them. Like the baby. Others were quite blurry and she didn't know what to think about them. Like the shift in her relationship with Jane. The whole was overwhelming, extremely powerful. Maura instinctively grabbed her friend's hand to rest it on top of her stomach. The gesture was a bit vain since she didn't know if the baby would kick anew. But she needed the touch, she needed to feel Jane's hand on her skin now.

Jane remained quiet. It had taken her aback as much as it had taken Maura aback. However, she really looked a lot more impressed than her friend. Probably because she didn't live any of this by herself.

"It doesn't hurt. It..." Maura paused. She knew that Jane was dying for an explanation. That's why Maura did her best right now to describe what she had just felt. "It's just like a tiny kick that would come from the inside. So weird..."

Someone knocked on the door. Both women turned around only to see Kent poke his head inside. He opened the door slightly to show them the tray full of cakes that he was holding.

"Chocolate cake, anyone?"

Jane raised an eyebrow. They already had enough food for five people on the coffee table but she knew that Maura wouldn't say no to chocolate.

"Oh sure, come in."

Maura gave her employee a smile.

"Is everything okay?" Kent came in but frowned as he noticed how both women had their respective hands on Maura's stomach. "You're not having contractions, are you? You should lie down for a while. You had a busy morning."

If Jane didn't always know what to think about Kent, she had to admit that she completely agreed with what he had just said. Perhaps she needed to make sure that he would keep an eye on Maura when she – Jane – couldn't be around. Maura was stubborn and a strong workaholic. Her pregnancy wouldn't make her slow down so easily.

"The baby's kicked."

Jane surprised herself to admit it out loud and to give Kent a warm – honest – smile. She hadn't felt the kick herself but she knew that she would nonetheless remember the day, and the date. It was symbolical.

"Oh... Already? You're lucky. The baby often kicks quite late in the case of a first pregnancy."

Kent's remark caused Maura to frown. As much as her colleague was a medical doctor, he wasn't an ob/gyn and even less a pediatrician. She didn't focus on it for too long though. The unexpected remark vanished as soon as she invited him quietly to rest a hand next to hers and Jane's on her stomach. Kent looked genuinely delighted – and a bit intimidated – by the offer. However, he shook his head and decided to keep a reasonable distance with Maura's body instead.

"No, thank you." Kent motioned the door and began to leave anew. "I'll be in the lab if you need me. Enjoy the chocolate cake."

"Thank you."

Maura watched how Kent left. She waited for him to close the door before focusing back on Jane.

As Maura looked into Jane's eyes and smiled, she realized how lucky she was. She and Jane hadn't talked about what had happened the day before but the kiss they had shared just before Bubble to interrupt it had made a couple of things clear nonetheless.

As a matter of fact, the kiss had been very telling: she and Jane wanted more than a friendship and they were ready for it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews.**

 **Chapter Thirteen**

"I'm surprised you actually want to know the baby's gender." Jane repressed the desire to go hold Maura's hand. "You strike me as the kind of person who'd be eager to want the _surprise_..."

"I don't have much of a choice, Jane. I am a medical doctor. I can read ultrasound pictures." Maura sighed heavily. If she wanted to be able to take part in the ultrasound session actively then she had to accept the fact that she would get to know about the baby's gender. "I just want a healthy child in the end. The rest doesn't matter much."

Jane gave her friend a nod. She felt nervous – impatient – and her heart was beating fast. Dr. Whitman had just excused herself but the suspense over Little M's gender was almost over now. As soon as Maura's ob/gyn came back in her office, she and Maura would know if they were going to have a boy or a girl. Finally.

 _They._ Jane blushed before the evidence of her thoughts. Maura's child was hers. To an extent. As a matter of fact, she had always seen it that way, even before they got to sleep together. Perhaps the events of the last few days had simply made it even clearer. She wanted to assume this parenthood from the very beginning to the end.

It felt logical, as if it were meant to be.

They hadn't talked about what was happening. They were simply living it and it worked out. Naturally. Easily. They had spent the last four nights together and they had walked into the hospital hand in hand. The days were very sweet, and perfect.

"I don't know where parents find the patience to wait for the birth to get to know about their baby's gender. It's nine months, dammit. What a mental torture..."

"It isn't patience but wisdom, Jane." Lying down on the medical table, Maura turned her head and gave her friend a smile. "Nuance."

A pout played on Jane's lips. She didn't necessarily share Maura's opinion but it wasn't the right time to bicker about anything. Dr. Whitman would be back within a few minutes now and then they were supposed to have lunch with Constance afterward, Constance whose flight was scheduled to take off in the evening.

Their day off wouldn't be very relaxing. They had plenty things to do. Thus, they couldn't waste time in arguments.

A tad bored, Jane cast a glance at the insurance forms Maura had just filled. Dr. Whitman had set them down on her desk, very close to Jane's side. A detail immediately caught Jane's attention. She frowned and read it twice before letting Maura know.

"You got the dates wrong, Maura." Jane pointed the form with her index finger. "You've been single since the day you were born. Or at least from a legal point of view. Why did you write..." Jane squinted her eyes. "It says 2005."

Maura swallowed hard. A visible tension wrapped up her body as she widened her eyes and desperately tried to focus on the ceiling. The baby moved but she completely ignored it. An earthquake could have happened that she wouldn't have noticed it. What was happening now - in this office - was a lot more delicate to handle.

"Maura?"

Maura bit her lower lip. Her cheeks were hot and she could feel the weight of Jane's eyes on her even if she – Maura – didn't look at her friend. The moment was awkward and her silence was very telling too.

Somewhat.

"Because 2005 is the year when I got a divorce."

"I'm back!" Dr. Whitman walked into her office and flashed Maura a bright smile. "I apologize for the last-minute change of plans... So let's see how this child is doing." The ob/gyn went to wash her hands. "Do you want to sit closer to your friend, Jane? Today is a big day: you're going to have a big surprise."

Jane blinked but she remained still and quiet on her seat. Maura had just dropped a bomb. A bomb that had hit Jane like a ton of bricks. She still could feel her _'what?!_ ' on the edge of her lips but the presence of Dr. Whitman made it hard for her to make the slightest remark.

Dr. Whitman had stormed back into her office at the worst moment ever. Or at least for Jane. Maura must have seen it as a blessing.

"Jane? Are you alright?"

Dr. Whitman stared at Jane. The medical doctor had walked back to Maura but Jane's silence had caught her attention. Thus Jane felt the urge to make an effort. She had to say something. And now.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." She ran a hand through her hair and went to sit down on the stool by Maura's head. She looked into her friend's hazel eyes but talked to Dr. Whitman instead. "I guess I know what you mean by 'surprise'... Today is... Full of surprise, indeed."

The innuendo couldn't be any clearer. Maura immediately turned her head towards the screen in order to escape from Jane's dark eyes. The moment was awkward. Very awkward.

...

A strong wind caused them to speed up the pace of their steps as they walked out of the hospital thirty minutes later. It was a cold day of October. The sky was gray and it smelled of snow. The temperatures were low, very low.

Maura tightened her hold on the envelope that she was carrying. Inside of it were the ultrasound pictures of her daughter. She was expecting a girl. The baby was healthy and – if Dr. Whitman had not been able to identify the gender during the previous ultrasound session – then it had been very easy this time. At eighteen weeks, very little doubts usually remained. Dr. Whitman had had none. It was a girl, a baby girl.

"Jane...?"

Jane was walking fast. Her lips were pursed in a thin line and her traits looked a lot deeper than when they had walked into the hospital an hour earlier. Of course, she had been touched by the news regarding the baby's gender and she had asked Dr. Whitman a thousand questions about the next few weeks but she felt mad at Maura right now.

And it was fair. Somehow.

"What?" Jane cast a furtive glance at her friend. She was dying to hold Maura's hand but her bruised ego prevented her from showing any display of affection. "I'm going too fast? Sorry."

Maura rolled her eyes. She hated it when Jane avoided a given subject because she was too mad to talk about it. The truth was that – as fair as Jane's reaction was – she didn't have to lock herself in a world of silence. On the contrary. She and Maura had to openly talk about it.

Even more now that their friendship had taken an unexpected turn. Some things had to be made clear, Maura's marriage was one of them.

"It isn't a very glorious story. That's why I've never mentioned it." Maura ran her tongue over her lips. "It isn't against you. I mean it."

Jane opened the car. She went to sit behind the steering-wheel then she waited for Maura to settle next to her on the passenger seat. Her Subaru suddenly felt too small. She needed a lot more space, because the atmosphere was way too electric right now.

"But what... What happened?"

Jane's anger was soft. She couldn't really be mad at Maura anyway. She simply felt confused, and a bit lost. She trusted Maura when Maura told her that she didn't have good memories of her marriage – it even broke Jane's heart to an extent – but the news were big and Jane needed answers to understand the whole thing.

Why the secret over it, why such silence. Why?

Maura fasten her seatbelt. She then bowed her head in shame and began to look for the best way to tell her friend something that she wasn't proud of at all.

"Las Vegas happened. Rick and I had been dating for a while. We went to Las Vegas to celebrate the end of the college year – with other students – and one thing leading to another, we came to the conclusion that getting married was the best thing we could do. Of course, it wasn't. The... Fever of Las Vegas. Very little sleep, plenty of alcohol. For once in my life I was letting go of everything. It didn't turn right."

Jane started the engine. The shock of the news hadn't vanished yet but she had to drive away because Constance were waiting for them at the restaurant anyway. Besides, she couldn't stay parked here forever.

"You weren't in college anymore in 2005. Your marriage lasted for a while."

It wasn't a reproach but a remark. A fair one. Jane looked into the rearview mirror then drove away from the hospital block.

At no moment had she assumed that Maura could have got married once. The fact Maura hadn't told her aout it before hurt but – deep inside – Jane understood that Maura's silence was linked to a deep shame that hadn't vanished yet.

Jane simply wished she had known about this marriage under other circumstances. Maura had taken her aback at Dr. Whitman's office.

"We tried to make it work."

Maura focused on the buildings on her right. She and Jane should have been happy right now. They should have been celebrating the fact they now knew the baby's gender and that everything was going just fine. They should have been talking about baby names and baby clothes. Instead, they were trapped in a Subaru speaking about something Maura desperately tried to run away from.

"And it didn't..."

"No. Because I met someone else." Maura looked down at her lap anew. She weighed the pros and cons, and thought about Rick. She knew where he lived and what had happened of him. Yet he seemed to belong to another universe, one that almost sounded intimidating. "A woman."

Jane didn't say anything back. Not immediately. She appreciated Maura's sudden honesty even if she had guessed by now that her friend hadn't only dated men. The intimacy she and Maura had shared the past few days had made that clear. Very clear.

As Jane turned on her right and drove towards Boston Common, she realized how upside down their lives could be. What she had taken for certainties – their asexual friendship, their random past – had just vanished in the air with a confusing easiness. Like a house of cards that the wind would blow. It was immensely confusing and many things still had to be said but Jane felt at ease in spite of all this mess.

As if it were meant to be.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews, it's a pleasure to read each one of them every day (and it's funny to see your reactions too).**

 **Chapter Fourteen**

It had taken Maura fifteen minutes to find a restful position in bed. Placing two pillows under her stomach as she lay on her side seemed to bring her the peace that she needed for the rest of the night. The discomfort she felt surprised her because it came early in her pregnancy. She was only eighteen weeks pregnant. Things would become harder once she would hit the third trimester. Of course she had more than a timid baby bump by now but it was still quite small.

She really needed to find appropriate pillows online.

Jane was sitting in bed next to her. Her friend was focused on an e-book, some detective novel that she had bought earlier during the day. The purchase had made Maura laugh. Jane loved detective novels and thrillers in spite of them being her daily routine and her job. She really enjoyed reading the genre.

As she had told Maura, at least it meant that she was passionate.

"I've disappointed you, haven't I?" Maura's whisper slid on her lips bitterly. She didn't want to interrupt Jane but the words weighed too much on her heart. They had to come out. "My wedding in Vegas."

Jane turned her head to look at her friend.

The rest of their day had gone rather smoothly. They had had a lovely lunch with Constance before stopping by a bookstore in order to buy a baby name book as well as a few other essays on maternity. Then they had headed back to Maura's place where they had spent the rest of the evening.

Of course, Jane had decided to spend the night over. As a matter of fact, she had grown addicted to having Maura by her side in order to fall asleep at night by now.

"What?!" Jane shook her head. She put her tablet on pause and turned around to look down at Maura. "Of course not! Why do you say that? You just took me by surprise."

Which was true but Maura couldn't help feeling guilty. She hadn't cheated on Jane – nor had she done anything wrong to her friend – but she had the feeling that she had ruined something nonetheless. It made her shameful marriage look even more like a complete failure.

"I didn't tell you about it because... Because I just want to forget it. I want to turn the page over it. I really want to."

"I get that, Maura. You didn't lie to me and I'm not twelve years old. I'm an adult, you know. I can understand why you've preferred to not say anything about that. It's okay. I'm just surprised it didn't come up any time earlier. Even your parents never mentioned it."

Maura wanted to sit up but she had had such a hard time finding a comfortable position in bed that she didn't move and remained still instead.

"They never talk about it because... Because they were furious about it. An Isles doesn't get married in Las Vegas after too many shots of Vodka. For once I was trying to loosen it a bit..."

A shy smile played on Jane's lips. She could imagine Maura trying to fit in the crowd of med students and crossing her very own boundaries by accident just as she could picture her out trying to assume the consequences of her acts.

"We all have secrets, Maura. There are things you don't know about me just as there are things I don't know about you... That's life. As long as you don't try to fool me then who cares? It's healthy to have... You know, secrets. You can't know a person from A to Z unless you've met him or her in kindergarten. And yet!"

Jane's wisdom surprised Maura a lot. She had expected her friend to make a scene, to jump to conclusions or to be impulsive. But Jane showed maturity and quietness instead. It was unusual yet very comforting.

"You're right..."

Maura looked down at the tiny space that separated her hand from Jane's arm. A question burned her lips but she didn't dare to ask it because she knew how Jane worked. If it didn't come from her friend then it was vain.

Maura wanted to know when and how Jane had dated other women. She had had. It was obvious. The confidence she showed in bed when they were making love was not the one of a newbie.

"If people choose to not reveal a few things about themselves, it's often because they have a hard time dealing with them. They either feel ashamed – like you – or..." Jane shrugged. "Or they don't have what it takes to put words on them."

Maura gave her friend a nod. The remark was very telling. Jane had told her a lot through it. It was implicit but still a lot better than the silence she had kept over her past experiences with women until now. One thing at a time. Perhaps one day Jane would feel at ease talking about it.

"I have a question though."

Maura looked up at Jane. She tilted her head and passed a hand on her stomach as she felt Bubble move. Her daughter always kicked in the evening when she was lying in bed. That's why Jane kept on saying the baby was a night owl, that she would always refuse to go to bed once born.

"Yes?"

Jane's lips curled up in a smirk, a smirk that Maura knew way too well. She barely had time to growl that Jane's question hit the air.

"What does Rick look like?"

Maura rolled her eyes. She couldn't care less about her comfortable position, this time. She grabbed one of the pillows that she had stuck under her stomach and hit her friend with it.

"Oh god, Jane..."

...

Sitting at her desk, Maura observed the difference leaflets that Kent had given her. She picked up one and leafed through it.

She was glad to see that her colleague hadn't forgotten about her request over the weekend and that he had showed up first thing on Monday morning at the morgue with the different options Maura had for the month of October. He had done his job like a boss.

She now needed to have a look at the farms online in order to choose the one that would seem to be the most appropriate one.

"Hey, Maura." Jane walked in without knocking on the door. Her sudden intrusion caused Maura to jump. "Oops, sorry. I didn't want to scare you. Do you have the lab results for the Chinatown murder?"

Maura shook her head. Her team had had to face a few technical issues earlier in the morning which had caused a delay of treatment.

"Not yet, I'm afraid. I'll send you a text message when I get them." She cast a glance at the dozen of colorful leaflets anew and cleared her voice. She hadn't checked the farms online yet but since Jane was in her office then Maura wanted to allude to the subject now. There was no point in waiting any longer. "By the way, are you doing anything on Saturday? Do you have any plan? Because I was thinking that we could go apple picking together. I mean.. Maybe. If you want to."

Jane had grabbed a leaflet. Thus the offer didn't surprise her much. Her eyes had fixed upon the photo of a family that seemed to be having a blast in the middle of a zillion apple trees. Under a big blue sky. The place looked cute even if it happened to be the countryside which Jane didn't like much.

"You mean like a date?" The question passed Jane's lips before she had time to realize how meaningful it could be. Of course, Jane immediately began to blush. Heavily. "I mean..."

She and Maura had rituals. Picking a Christmas tree and spending Thanksgiving together were two of them. Apple picking was new. It didn't necessarily have to be linked to the notion of dating yet Jane's subconscious had obviously spoken for her.

She and Maura had reached a new stage in their relationship two weeks earlier. They enjoyed each other's presence and had a nice time in bed together but everything was still very new. They hadn't really talked about the whole thing yet.

Putting a word on it – even more the word _dating_ – was extremely meaningful. And very sudden.

Maura swallowed hard. She remained quiet for long seconds in order to calm her heart beats. She hadn't expected Jane to be so blunt.

"Well... I suppose that we could call it this way..." Maura looked up. Her hazel eyes looked for Jane's dark ones. "If you want to, of course. If you don't then it's okay, I can..."

"No! I mean yes. I mean... That'd be cool. I'd love to... To go on a date with you."

Neither of them could remember the last time they had showed such level of timidity. Perhaps it looked genuine and cute from the outside but they both felt incredibly stupid right now. It was the first time that they really alluded to what was happening between the two of them. Putting words on it wasn't easy. Going from a friendship to a romantic relationship was delicate. Beautiful but delicate.

"Oh." Maura's surprise turned out to be a lot louder than expected. She picked up a leaflet with a shaking hand and waved it at Jane. "Kent brought these to me. We talked about apple picking last week and I asked him to bring me the leaflets of the different farms he knew. Apparently, it's something he really loves to do. Picking apples, that is. Not... Not bringing me leaflets."

Jane laughed lightly. Maura's awkwardness was very cute.

"I'm glad this is something you want to do with me, Jane. This is sweet, very sweet."

Jane didn't turn around to check whether someone was coming. She couldn't care less right now. She leaned over the desk instead and she planted a soft kiss on Maura's lips before looking into her friend's eyes lovingly.

"No. You're sweet."

Jane didn't add anything. She set the leaflet down on Maura's desk then walked back to the door. She left quietly. Lightly. Happily.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages. It's really nice of you to take the time to post something.**

 **Chapter Fifteen**

"Oh."

Jane's exclamation betrayed a very obvious surprise as she came across Kent at the grocery store. She had stopped by to buy some beers and food for Jo Friday. It was the first time that she ever came to this grocery store. Maura's colleague's presence in the aisles was unexpected.

Unless he lived in the area. She actually didn't know his address.

As much as Jane did find Kent a bit strange – mostly nerdy – she didn't mind his presence at the morgue. As a matter of fact, she thought that he had brought a delicate source of entertainment to Maura who had needed it after Susie Chang's murder. Kent was nice, and honestly harmless. Just a bit off, at times.

Jane's eyes fixed upon the big cat litter bag Kent was carrying.

"I didn't know you had a cat." Her own remark caused Jane to blush because of its latent stupidity. She didn't know much about Kent's life outside the morgue. Thus she hardly saw how she could have guessed that he happened to have a pet. "I mean..."

Jane didn't finish her sentence but Kent didn't seem to mind. He gave her an enthusiastic nod instead before pushing himself on the left to let another customer walk up the aisle.

"I do. Millie is a two-year-old female cat who has just got kittens. By the way, do you think Dr. Isles would like to have a cat? She isn't allergic to them, is she? I was thinking about offering her one of the kittens. Children love cats."

The question took Jane aback. As far as she knew, Maura didn't suffer from any allergy. It simply hadn't crossed her mind that her friend may want to welcome a second pet at home besides Bass. Yet now that Jane thought about the offer, she actually liked it. Maura liked felines. A question hit her mind though. She frowned.

"Isn't a cat dangerous around a baby?"

Kent immediately shook his head. He always seemed to be in a good mood, very cheerful. Yet Jane couldn't help thinking that an aura of mystery kept on floating above his head. She ignored everything about him. Absolutely everything out of the morgue.

"You need to be careful but very quickly the cat adapts to the presence of a new family member. Our old cat – Louise – had loved my son right away. She acted very protectively with him."

Jane blinked. She didn't know that Kent had a son. As a matter of fact, she was even convinced that Maura's colleague was single. She didn't remember anyone telling her about a wife and even less a kid.

She must have looked quite confused because Kent felt obliged to immediately give her further details about this last piece of information.

"I used to have a wife, and a son."

"Oh. I didn't know that you were divorced." Jane almost added that he wasn't the only divorced person who worked at the morgue – that his boss was actually in the same situation as his – but she held back the remark because it was a detail of her friend's life that didn't necessarily have to be shared with anyone. Maura's silence over it was there for a reason. "Does she live in Boston?"

That would explain the reason why Kent had chosen this city.

But a sad smile played on Kent's lips and swept away his relative good mood almost immediately. Jane didn't miss. She didn't miss the bitterness that also reached his eyes as he shook his head and looked down at his feet.

"I'm not divorced." He forced himself to look up at Jane anew. Out of politeness. "... My wife and my son got killed in a car crash when we used to live in South Africa. Emily – that was her name – was driving to Cape Town. A truck didn't see her car."

Jane's heart skipped a beat. She hadn't expected this. Of course, her first reaction was to apologize even if she wasn't to blame, because it was how it worked out. How one handled politeness. Then she thought about Maura's pregnancy and how it must be tough for Kent to see it happening.

"That's why I left, then. That's why I went to countries in war."

 _To forget_. Kent didn't need to say it because Jane had guessed it. Wars must have been an escape for him. A well needed one. She cast a furtive glance at her watch: it was 6.30pm.

"Do you have any plan for tonight?" She didn't want to sound like she was pitying him because she wasn't. It went beyond that. "How about sharing a beer? Do you have time for a drink? Or your cat really needs her litter now...? I wouldn't mind seeing the kittens too."

...

Maura had never looked so ecstatic. Her hazel eyes were glimmering of delight - like a child on Christmas day - while she was carrying a whicker basket full of apples. A cool breeze had reddened her cheeks and a few curls of honey blond hair kept on dancing around her face gracefully.

"I will bake an apple pie, and maybe... An apple crumble too." She had put her rain coat on but the morning clouds had suddenly got swept away by a bright sun. Thus she had unzipped her coat and her baby bump now showed under her gray tank top and the checkered blouse she was wearing. She was also sporting a pair of maternity jeans that she had bought the day before. She felt comfortable in her casual clothes. "And apple sauce. Do you like apple sauce?"

Jane nodded but her enthusiasm was a lot more timid than Maura's. It was nobody's fault but her mind was somewhere else. She couldn't help thinking about Kent and the tragedy he had gone through. She had hesitated to let Maura know about it but she finally had decided to remain quiet over it. Maura was pregnant, the last thing she needed to hear was how a child and his mother had got killed in a tragic car accident.

"Let me carry this basked, Maura. It's heavy." Jane grabbed the aforesaid basket and followed Maura until a wooden picnic table. They both sat down there for a well deserved break. "You're going to hurt your back. Watch out. Be careful, please."

Maura closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and enjoyed the heat of the sun on her face as she leaned her head backwards. It was a glorious day. The farm she had chosen was perfect, very family oriented. Chidlren were running everywhere and everyone looked happy. She loved it.

"I couldn't feel any better, actually." She squeezed Jane's hand tightly and looked into her friend's eyes. They didn't mind showing public display of affection when they happened to be among strangers, like now. On the contrary. They found it to be sweet and comforting. "I'm so glad we're doing this... Together."

They were on a date. Their first date. The place and the activity were unusual – they could name it differently too if they didn't have the courage to assume it – but it still was a date. The two of them together, without anyone else. The moment was symbolical and perfect.

"Jane...?"

A barely audible whisper passed Maura's lips. She had been thinking about it for a while and their little break seemed to be the perfect occasion to talk about it. However an employee came to their table to take their orders. Maura politely obliged – so did Jane – then the young boy left anew. Jane looked at her friend.

"Yeah?"

"Do you understand what's happening to us?" Maura's eyes fixed upon the wooden table. A sweet confusion was reigning in her head and she had a hard time to find the proper words that would give sense to her blurry feelings. "You and I... Do you understand why it's happening? And why it's happening now?"

Jane did her best in order to ignore the fast beats of her heart. She and Maura hadn't talked about the sudden intimacy they shared – because it seemed natural, and easy – but she understood Maura's sudden urge to put words on it. Even more during what they considered as their first date. The truth was that she felt the same confusion as Maura. She didn't know why it happened now, why nothing had happened before. But she easily accepted it and almost refused to question it.

"Maybe... Maybe it's a matter of timing. Nothing happens by accident... Why? Do you regret it? Do you want to stop?" Jane hoped that Maura didn't because she – Jane – wasn't ready for such possibility. At all. For the very first time in a long while, she felt at peace and she knew that it was thanks to this new relationship. "Or you just want to..."

"I want to know if it's a simple phase for you, if it's something temporary."

Maura needed to be reassured. She assumed that her pregnancy played a big role in her sudden lack of self-confidence because she had never felt the urge to ask her previous partners something so precise. As a matter of fact, she had never cared about the nature of the relationship. But something was different, this time. It was Jane, and there was a baby among all of this. Of course, she didn't ask Jane to adopt her daughter and to assume her role for the rest of her life but she wanted to know if her friend saw what they currently had as a light entertainment or if she thought about the near future.

The young employee brought them their drinks as well as two slices of a homemade apple pie. Once again, Jane and Maura waited for him to go away before resuming their conversation.

"I would never play with you, Maura. I don't know why it's happening now, I don't know where it comes from... But I like it. A lot." Jane ran her tongue over her lips. "I like you. A lot. I like being with you."

Jane's answer brought relief to Maura. She wasn't in the mood for anything light. She was about to have a child which implied a necessary sense of responsibility that had to show in her life. And if Jane had always been more than a mere friend, the fact she may become her partner held a lot of importance.

Maura liked how easily Jane seemed to assume the shift in their relationship. She had honestly thought that her friend would run away from it, because she would be in denial. It turned out to be the exact opposite. Jane was serious, and extremely invested in it. Just as she wasn't in denial of anything.

"Thank you."

Maura could have lost herself in a long speech that would have matched Jane's opinion on their relationship. She could have come up with metaphors and beautiful images. Instead, these two bare words passed her lips with a perfect logic. She didn't need to add anything.

Everything had been said.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages. I really appreciate them all!**

 **Chapter Sixteen**

Maura had always assumed that the efficiency of a mother resting a hand on top of her stomach when pregnant in order to calm down the baby was an urban legend. And yet. Her very own pregnancy was proving her how wrong she had been because it worked. It really worked.

She couldn't explain it – and it may simply defy science which she had a hard time dealing with – but her daughter quieted down as soon as Maura passed a soothing hand on her baby bump.

Lying down on the couch of her living-room, Maura tried to enjoy the serenity of the moment. She had put classical music on the moment she had come back from Jane's apartment and she had lit a few cinnamon candles here and there in the large room. The smell went to her head bewitchingly. She loved it.

Outside, the rain slid down the windows at a reasonable pace taking away the end of the afternoon.

A peaceful smile played on Maura's lips as she thought about the last couple of hours she had spent in Jane's arms. They had made love with a sweet intensity but what she had kept in mind was the foreign feeling that she had felt afterward. In Jane's arms. She had felt complete, at peace. At the right place, at the right time. It was immensely satisfying.

"What a terrible weather!" Angela walked in by the door that led to the patio. She shook her head in order to sweep away rain drops from her hair and looked at Maura. "I've never seen so much rain in my life. It's gloomy!"

Maura actually liked the weather. She liked the fall and the bittersweet nostalgy that came within it. Rainy days by the fireplace were sweet. Very sweet. Even more now that she was expecting a child and that the new relationship she had with Jane brought her a comforting sweetness.

"Would you like cinnamon tea? I have just made some." Maura motioned the tea kettle that she had set down on the coffee table and gave Angela a peaceful smile. "It's a very good one. I have cookies too, if you want..."

Angela went to sit down on one of the armchairs, very close to Maura. She poured herself a mug of tea then held out to Maura a thick publication.

"The baby clothing models. As promised." Angela settled further on the armchair. She took a sip of tea then focused on the flames that were dancing in the fireplace. "Just let me know which ones you'd like me to knit for you."

Maura grabbed the publication very enthusiastically. She had been really touched by Angela's offer as knitting baby clothes wasn't something that she had to expect from her own mother. Jane had warned her said clothes would probably be quite ugly but Maura was certain that she could find nice designs nonetheless. They didn't have to have Donald Duck on them.

As a matter of fact, it was even the first time that Maura would focus on something so concrete. She hadn't thought much about her post-partum life until now. She was only five months pregnant, after all. She hadn't thought about the nursery, for instance. Even less the name of the baby. The only thing she knew was that she was expecting a girl. The rest would wait a little.

She had all the time in the world.

A tiny contraction caused her to wince in pain. It was nothing important – nothing serious either – but Angela didn't miss it. On the contrary. Worried, Angela leaned over and frowned at Maura.

"Are you okay?"

Maura gave Jane's mother a nod while leafing through the knitting catalogue. She had begun to have contractions on her way back from Jane which was the reason why she had decided to lie down for a while. She needed a break, a time-off. It was the perfect occasion to have it now, with all this rain and dark weather.

"I am simply having very tiny contractions. I am doing just fine, don't be worried, Angela."

Maura assumed that Angela wouldn't insist, because there was nothing else to say about it. At this stage of her pregnancy, her body reactions were even completely random. It made sense. Thus she didn't worry about it the slightest bit. Her next appointment with Dr. Whitman was scheduled in two weeks. The ob/gyn would let her know if she had to change some of her habits.

"Did you get into intimate activity?"

Maura's eyes widened in surprise as Angela's question hit the air. She hadn't seen it come at all. Swallowing hard, she cast a panicked glance at Jane's mother and took a long - deep - breath.

If she and Jane had made some things clear the day they had gone apple picking together, they hadn't planned on saying anything to anyone yet. It was way too early and – truth to be told – they had other things to deal with starting with their respective jobs and Maura's pregnancy.

"I beg your pardon?"

Angela shrugged. She didn't seem much bothered by her very own question. On the contrary. She seemed to find it very random, and fair. She oddly sounded like Constance Isles. Maura's mother's two-week stay had had consequences.

"Did you have sex? Because it can cause contractions. You can be sexually active but you need to adapt. I mean I guess it's how it works. Aren't you the doctor?"

"But you're the one who went through three pregnancies..."

Angela was right though. Maura always had contractions after having sex with Jane. It simply didn't last. However, such detail wasn't something that Maura could easily say to Angela. She and Jane didn't need to adapt to anything so far. They were doing fine, more than fine.

Maura thought about Jane, about her shivering skin under her touch. It had only happened a few hours earlier. Everything was still so vivid.

Angela rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Yeah but I'm Italian. The minute you get pregnant, you become a sacred cow and nobody touches you anymore until you give birth. That's the truth."

Maura thanked in silence the fact that it wasn't a tradition Jane had decided to follow. She nonetheless smiled politely at Angela. She doubted that it still worked that way anyway. Angela simply belonged to another generation.

"Oh. I see."

"Anyway... I have to go, now. Take your time, go through the catalogue and pick up the models you like the most." Angela stood up. She went to wash her mug in the kitchen then walked to the patio door anew. "And slow down, Maura. It's good for you if you're seeing someone but the baby needs quietness too."

...

"Oh god yes."

Maura leaned her head backwards and let a moan of pure pleasure slide on her lips as soon as she felt the hot water of her bath tub wrap up her body. The sensation of water was exactly what she needed after a long and exhausting day at work. Her reaction caused Jane to laugh lightly though.

"I may take it badly, you know. It's like the bath's bringing you more pleasure than I do. That's so wrong."

The slight boldness of Jane's remark made Maura smirk. Jane did show confidence in bed but she didn't put words on it. She never really spoke when they were making love and she didn't allude to it afterwards either. She remained quiet.

Thus her latest comment was completely unusual.

Sitting next to her friend in the large bath tub, Maura shrugged. She looked down at the bubbles and at the foam that covered her body up to her chest. Only the top of her stomach reached the white surface. Timidly.

"Be reassured, it doesn't."

Jane was going to spend the night over. They would share a nice dinner together in front of the fireplace – maybe they would watch some movie – then they would head to bed and make love. Maura couldn't have asked for a better plan. It was exactly what she wanted.

Her sexual frustration had obviously subdued since she and Jane had begun to sleep together. However, she still had a rather insatiable sexual appetite. She knew that it may slow down later on, when she would reach her third trimester. Thus she wanted to take the most of it as long as it happened to last.

"It's strange to think that you've never known me with a flat stomach."

Of course by ' _known_ ' Maura meant ' _being intimate with_ '. It wasn't the first time that she thought about it. As a matter of fact, it crossed her mind every time she observed the reflection of her figure in a mirror. Jane only knew her body with pregnant curves. It would be different once she would give birth. Maura was afraid that her friend wouldn't like it much.

"That's life! Besides, I have all the time in the world to explore your flat stomach."

Jane was in a mischievous mood and Maura loved it. It turned her on immensely. She rested her hand on top of her stomach and slightly pressed on it.

"It's going to be very different."

Maura didn't want to ruin the moment but she couldn't help it. Her fears were at their maximum right now. She had begun to think about her post-partum life and it scared her slightly.

Jane was turned on by her current curves. She had never showed any sign of interest in Maura before she got pregnant. Once Maura would give birth, her rounded hips and generous breasts would fade away and with the passing of time she would get back in shape. What if it turned Jane off?

Jane felt insecurity rise in Maura's voice. Thus she turned around and leaned her head against her friend's shoulder. She planted a kiss on her wet skin. A furtive kiss. A sweet one nonetheless.

"You could have three heads and six legs that I wouldn't give a damn." The skin of Maura's stomach was smooth under Jane's fingertips. She brushed it before getting her hand intertwined with Maura's. The embrace disappeared in the warm water. "Your body is perfect."

"Your mother asked me if I was having sex."

Jane got tense. She had met Maura seven years earlier and – if she had got used to her latent awkwardness – her lack of transition in conversations was still a powerful source of confusion. Like now.

"What?!"

Maura squinted her eyes at an invisible point in front of her. She pouted – as if she were pondering something – and she finally looked at Jane. She gave her friend a nod.

"I guess she knows that something is happening."


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's note: Thank you for the reviews; many of you asked me whether I will keep writing once the show is over, you will find the (long) answer at the end of the chapter.**

 **Chapter Seventeen**

"How come Jane isn't here with you?"

Maura looked at the empty seat next to hers. The question would have made Jane feel very proud because she was extremely invested in Maura's pregnancy and she liked it when people noticed it. The reason of her absence to Maura's medical appointment was very simple this time though.

"She had to attend a trial." As a matter of fact, Maura had to attend it as well but only in the afternoon. "This isn't the kind of things you can turn down."

Jane had tried to postpone her presence at the trial but the judge had turned down her request. She wasn't the one who was pregnant, thus the medical appointment was not enough of a reason for Jane to ask such a thing.

Dr. Whitman nodded. She picked up Maura's medical file and opened it in order to check the latest notes that she had written down in it. Maura took advantage of it to take a sheet of paper out of her purse. She had promised Jane to give it to her ob/gyn. She has hesitated until the last second but Jane would have been mad at her if she hadn't given it to her medical doctor.

"However..." Maura waited for Dr. Elsa Whitman to look up at her. "She has a full list of questions and she would appreciate it if you could..." Maura shrugged, very aware of the ridiculousness of the current situation. "If you could answer each one of them."

The medical doctor grabbed the sheet of paper. She raised an amused eyebrow as she went through Jane's questions. A matching smirk played on her lips.

"I've rarely met friends who were so invested into a pregnancy." Dr. Whitman laughed lightly. Yet since she was focused on the questions Jane had written down, she missed how her remark caused Maura to blush. "No problem. I will write an answer for each one of them. She doesn't listen to you, does she?" Dr. Whitman finally looked up at Maura. "As a medical doctor yourself, you must know most of the answers."

Maura rolled her eyes. She would gladly admit to anyone that Jane's Italian roots were showing a lot, these days. As a matter of fact, Jane sounded more and more like her own mother. Of course this was something that Maura couldn't tell her friend unless she didn't fear a potential outburst.

Jane was a mamma bear. She would vehemently say the opposite but it was the truth and everyone could see it. Maura found it to be sweet.

"You have no idea..."

Dr. Whitman laughed anew. Then she stood up and motioned the medical table. It was now time for Maura's medical checkup. Maura obliged. She felt fine in spite of a few contractions she had had earlier in the morning.

The low temperatures accentuated her back pain too. Sometimes when the wind was particularly chilly, she had a hard time walking a reasonable distance.

But it was perfectly normal. Thus she didn't complain much about it.

"How have you been feeling? Tired? I can't believe you've managed to deal with the strong smells of autopsy rooms for so long. You're very stubborn, Maura."

"I prefer the word 'determined'..." Maura lay down on the medical table. She cast a glance at the ultrasound machine. She wouldn't get to see her daughter, today. The checkup was just a regular one. "You get used to the smell."

 _You get used to everything._

Maura had spent more time in autopsy rooms and morgues – in company of dead people – than with patients who were still alive. Death had become part of her life to the point that she now embraced it fully. She wasn't afraid of it. On the contrary. She found the connection she had with dead people to be immensely powerful. Very few people could understand how she felt when among the dead. It was where she had to be. She felt at the right place there.

"Do you have a lot of contractions?" Dr. Whitman began the medical checkup. "Your stomach is tense." She slid a hand between Maura's legs in order to check her patient's cervix. "Everything seems to be okay but you shouldn't be having so many contractions. We're going to listen to the baby's heart, just to make sure that she isn't suffering from them."

Maura swallowed hard. The lightness that she had been feeling since the day her pregnancy test had turned out to be positive vanished within a second. She suddenly felt empty, and very scared.

She looked at the empty seat next to the one where she had left her purse. She missed Jane. She would have wanted nothing but to have her friend's reassuring presence by her side now. She hadn't imagined that her contractions could have an impact on the baby.

"No... They just come and go."

The whisper hit the air with all the uncertainty and shame Maura could feel. It wasn't Dr. Whitman's fault though. The medical doctor was being nice, and very gentle. Maura simply felt lonely.

"Are you sexually active, Maura?"

Maura hadn't forgotten Angela's remark regarding her sex life. Jane's mother question echoed Dr. Whitman's own one. Not really knowing what to say, Maura ran her tongue over her lips before nodding timidly.

Her quiet answer surprised her ob/gyn a lot.

"Oh! Don't be worried, it's perfectly healthy and there is no contraindication." Dr. Whitman laughed lightly in order to make her patient relax a bit. "How come this person isn't here with you? Aren't they curious about your pregnancy?"

As much as the question was fair, its innocence didn't match the delicacy of the situation. Maura frowned as she focused very hard on the words she would use to answer Dr. Whitman. She pondered the pros and cons for long seconds before taking an important decision.

"Oh, she is... She simply couldn't come today because she's attending a trial."

Maura held her breath. She couldn't care less about letting her ob/gyn know about her sexual orientation – as a matter of fact, it was even fair – but she hoped that Jane wouldn't be mad at her once she would learn that Maura had revealed their relationship to Elsa Whitman.

"What?! Oh, Maura... Why did the two of you pretend to be friends only? I'm not judgemental, you know. I'm really fine with same-sex couples. As a matter of fact, they're often the best parents I get to work with because these pregnancies were so much desired..."

"We didn't lie. I swear that we were friends the first time we met you. It..." Maura felt a bit embarrassed. Telling her love life to an ob/gyn who was in the middle of a gynecologist exam was unusual. "Things changed afterwards."

A bright smile played on Dr. Whitman's lips. The woman looked into her patient's eyes and she winked at her.

"Congratulations, then! This is great. You must be thrilled. Jane seems to be a very nice person. She cares a lot about you. And about your child."

...

Jane loudly sipped on her diet Coke and pointed to one of Dr. Whitman's answers. The medical doctor had taken the time to answer each one of them during Maura's appointment.

"I knew it. You gotta slow down. See?" Jane grabbed the sheet of paper before waving it at a defeated Maura. "It's written here. It's the reason why you're having all these contractions. You're not ready to pop this kid out, Maura. Little M still has four months to enjoy before saying hello to the world."

"My contractions are also caused by my sexual activity, Jane. Do you need me to go into further details about this part? And the consequences?"

The woman at the table nearby cast a glance at Maura. The customer had obviously overheard Maura's remark. Jane didn't miss it. She cleared her voice nervously and made sure to lower her voice as she leaned over the table.

This restaurant was close to the courthouse. She didn't want any acquaintance to walk in on them and even less to overhear a rather private conversation.

"If we have to slow down on that part too then we will. I'm fine with it."

Maura gasped loudly. She shook her head at Jane and set her fork down on the table, on top of her paper napkin.

"We don't have to! She told me it was alright. I just..." Maura sighed. It cost her a lot to say it out loud but she didn't have much of a choice. She couldn't lie to Jane. She didn't want to lie, as a matter of fact. "Well I just need to stay home for the next ten days."

But having sex was still possible and Maura certainly didn't want to slow down on it. Staying home was enough of a real burden.

Maura didn't like it one bit but the baby's heart rate was a tad too fast. Thus she needed to have a break. Besides, she could work from home; even from her bed if she had to. She wasn't the only medical examiner at the morgue. Her employees could conduct an autopsy. It was simply a matter of bruised ego. She didn't want to let go.

"Really?"

"Jane! I can't lie." Maura rolled her eyes. She was about to lose her nerves. It wasn't Jane's fault – all in all – but she had gone through a rollercoaster of emotions during her medical appointment. She was very sensitive right now. "There's no contraindication for any sexual activity so far. I'm telling you nothing but the truth."

Jane gave her friend an appreciative nod. She knew that she could trust Maura. The annoyance that showed on Maura's face was very telling: Maura didn't like it one bit but she would respect Dr. Whitman's advices nonetheless. She would do it for her daughter.

"Jane?" Maura waited for her friend to look up from her list of questions. In vain. Jane simply murmured what sounded like an affirmation. "Dr. Whitman knows for us."

A very short silence followed Maura's confession. It took Jane a few seconds to look up at her friend and to be able to speak again.

"She does or you think she does, like ma'...?" Jane still had in mind the moment Maura had told her about her suspicions. Yet Jane's mother had remained rather quiet until now. And neutral. She didn't make any allusion, to absolutely anything. "What happened?"

Maura sighed.

"I don't know... I didn't want to lie when she asked if I was with someone."

...

 **Author's note bis:**

 **Since several people asked me whether I'll keep on writing fanfics once the show is over, I decided to come up with a general answer here: I still have plenty of ideas for upcoming fics. The only thing that may cause me to stop writing is the behavior of some fans.  
I have a hard time dealing with the way some of them keep on bashing on the cast and crew (Jan Nash included). Not liking a tv show anymore is one thing but trolling the cast and crew on social networks is another one that crosses limits.**

 **Perhaps many fans don't know how a tv show works which would explain why they accuse the showrunner instead of pointing out the network and the execs who happen to be the ones who decide of everything on a show but it honestly drags me down.  
It's not only directed at the wrong people but it is also extremely disrespectful for all the people who work on the episodes and share the equivalent to family ties. Angie and Sasha included.  
It's rare when an actor dares to speak up (because there's a lot to lose) but Sasha did. She openly said that this behavior made her feel uncomfortable. So it'd be nice to listen to her and respect it. Except these fans haven't. I don't like it.  
If you don't like a tv show anymore then you move on. It's quite easy. Trolling is wrong, it doesn't bring anything interesting and it is badly seen by the cast and crew; Sasha and Angie included.  
It gives a terrible image of the fandom and I don't want to be assimilated to this.**

 **But - beyond the assimilation thing - the main issue I have is that this attitude turns me off completely to the point I don't want to have anything to do with this fandom anymore. It ruins the fun for me.  
Perhaps the fans don't realize it but their attitude is a complete turn-off. It ruins the fun I have and if I don't have fun anymore then why keeping on writing?  
So if it goes on then I know I will stop writing, and maybe I will delete my stories too. It's not blackmail. It's just that I've reached this point when this behavior drags me down way too much for me to go on.**

 **I can understand some are disappointed - and they are in their right - but they should show a bit of maturity about it and think about the ones who still enjoy the show.  
If you want to discuss this then I'm open to it but I'd prefer it to happen in a private message and not in a review because it has little to do with this story.**

 **Thank you.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and the private messages; I'll try to reply to all these PMs today.**

 **Chapter Eighteen**

"Are you tired?"

Maura shook her head at Jane's question but she nonetheless yawned. She stretched her arms above her head in a feline way before rolling on her side in order to look into her friend's eyes. It wasn't as early in the morning as she had hoped to. As a matter of fact, they had even overslept. But Maura couldn't care less. She simply wanted to enjoy these few minutes of peace in bed with Jane because she knew that the serenity of the morning wouldn't last.

Her lips brushed Jane's in a soft kiss.

The sky must have been gray behind the beige curtains of Maura's bedroom because it was still dark inside the house. A cold and gray day of November. One you wanted to spend in bed with your beloved one.

"Happy Thanksgiving." Maura's fingertips caressed Jane's bare stomach under the blanket. Neither of them had bothered putting clothes on yet. They had made love the night before then they had fallen asleep in each other's arms, rocked by the quiet sound of the rain that was falling outside. "And good luck."

Jane burst out laughing. Her laugh rose loudly in the master bedroom before coming to die in the crook of Maura's neck as she leaned over to plant a kiss on Maura's shoulder.

Maura's sarcasm was spot-on: her parents were coming from Switzerland in order to celebrate Thanksgiving with her and Jane's respective families. It was the first time both families happened to be reunited and the singularity of the situation betrayed a latent importance, as if Maura and Jane were making their relationship official. They hadn't planned on saying anything to anyone but it still sounded like it. Maura felt pressure. She wanted this day to be sweet, and successful.

"Your parents aren't as awful as you describe them, Maura." Jane checked the time on her cell phone. She reluctantly got up and walked to the bathroom. She knew that she couldn't stay in bed unless she didn't mind causing Maura's stress to go high. "They're a bit off but... They're okay. Just ahem... Not really... Typical parents."

Maura rolled on her back anew. She stared at the ceiling and wrinkled her nose. She disagreed with what Jane had just said but she wasn't in the mood to argue. As a matter of fact, she didn't have time to argue about anything. A kick from her daughter swept away her daydreams almost immediately.

"You don't know what they're capable of, Jane. Don't forget my mother had an affair with the gardener."

Jane appeared in the door frame of the bedroom. She was wrapped in a bath towel and she had tied her hair up in a loose bun. She laughed lightly.

"The gardener is your own little fantasy, Maura. Your mother simply told you that she had had affairs. Not that she had slept with the garderner. It can be anyone!" Jane shook her head "They can't be worse than ma'. It's impossible."

Maura walked to the large windows in order to check the weather. She had guessed it properly: the sky was low, and gray. It was even windy. She raised a sarcastic eyebrow and – focused on the street – she shook her head at Jane.

"Do you want to bet?"

...

Maura leaned against the wall of the living-room. She had found a very tiny spot that she hoped to be quiet enough. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. At least it smelled good: the turkey was in the oven – ready to be served – and the other dishes were already on the table. She simply wished the moment had been quieter.

Two many people were currently coming and going in her house. Speaking, laughing loudly. The fantasy she had had of a full house was slowly vanishing in the air, swept away by the harshness of reality.

She felt a tad dizzy.

"You're running out of Cognac, Maura."

It wasn't a statement but a reproach. As zen as she could be, Maura opened her eyes anew and simply gave her mother a smile. She wasn't running out of Cognac. It was simply Constance Isles who needed to slow down on said alcohol.

"I have Armagnac, if you prefer. Or I can also go buy a bottle of Cognac if you want to." It was raining cats and dogs and the wind was blowing strongly but the weather wouldn't stop Maura from running away from this meal if she had the opportunity to do so. "Doesn't red wine suit turkey better, anyway?"

The door bell rang. Maura almost rushed to it, way too happy to finally escape her mother's reproaches. She opened the door only to see Kent carrying a large carboard box.

"Happy Thanksgiving. I brought Millie and her kittens." Kent walked in after being invited to do so. He looked around him. "Is there any quiet place where I can settle them?"

Maura had insisted on him to take his cat and the kittens with him. She had accepted his offer to adopt a kitten and she was dying to check the six fur balls that were now meowing in the box. At least it would provide her a good diversion for a while.

"Yes, come with me to the first floor. The yoga room is perfect for them." She cast a glance at the Rizzoli tribe that had invaded her couch in order to watch the Macy's Parade. "TJ is a bit young, I'm afraid he would scare Millie who must be very protective of her babies."

Jane waved at Kent as she saw him come in but since Maura was leading him to another part of the house, she didn't go to talk to him.

Jane felt a bit closer to him since the day they had shared a drink. She was glad to see that Maura had invited him over for Thanksgiving. It was the kind of holiday that you didn't want to spend on your own, thinking about the life you once had had and that was now gone.

"She's glowing."

Constance's remark took Jane aback. As a matter of fact, she hadn't seen Maura's mother come closer to her. Jane had been too focused on walking to the fridge to pick a bottle of beer out of it. Jane cast a glance at her own mother who was busy explaining something to Nina and Lydia over the stove. At least whatever Constance meant, Angela wouldn't hear it.

"Who? Maura?" Jane gave Constance a quick nod. She really didn't know why her heart always skipped a beat when Constance was around. She really found Maura's mother intimidating. She was nice but intimidating nonetheless. Even more after a couple of glasses of Cognac. "Yeah, she is."

"I'm glad to see that you've been able to... Lend her a hand."

Jane froze. It wasn't the remark but the smirk that now played on Constance's lips that made her wonder if Maura's mother wasn't insinuating something a bit less innocent than the idea of a friend helping another one.

Not knowing what to say, she ran her tongue over her lips and smiled.

"The meal's ready!" Angela's loud voice put an abrupt end to the peculiar conversation Jane and Constance were having. The Italian matriach clapped her hands in order to get everyone's attention. "C'mon, go sit to the table. Where's Maura?" Angela scanned her surroundings but her Italian roots swept away any effort of being subtle and she ended up yelling her daughter's friend's name instead. "Maura!"

Kent and Maura had just walked back into the living-room. Kent went to say hello to Frankie and Korsak. Jane took advantage of it to run to Maura for a very quick talk.

"Have you chosen a kitten?" Jane wasn't a cat-person but she had to admit that she was very fond of the idea of Maura getting a kitten. She found it sweet. "I like the gray one."

Maura looked into her friend's eyes. It was strange but she couldn't bring herself to define Jane as her partner even if it was exactly what Jane was. They knew that what they were now living was going beyond friendship – and they had both accepted it the day they had gone apple picking – but Maura always referred to Jane as being her friend. Her dear friend.

She made a step closer to Jane. The gesture caused her rounded stomach to brush Jane's body.

"I want us to decide together. I want it to be our choice, not just mine."

 _Our cat._

Jane didn't overthink anything. As her hand slid on Maura's lower back, she leaned over to plant a soft kiss at the corner of Maura's lips. Both then walked to the table and sat down side by side. Of course nobody had noticed anything – or they did not care about such display of affection – but Constance Isles who just decided to celebrate on her own by pouring herself another glass of Cognac.

Maura observed the table in silence. Every single person she loved was here. Nobody was working today and they all had accepted her invitation. She could hardly be any happier. Her eyes fixed upon TJ. Jane's nephew was a big boy now.

He was sitting on a normal chair and he looked very proud of it. Maura passed a hand on her stomach as she realized that he would soon get a cousin to play with.

They weren't blood related but it wasn't blood that defined a family. This was something Maura was even more certain of today than she had ever been.

The only two people missing were Hope and Cailyn.

"How is my granddaughter doing?" Constance's voice rose loud and clear. She gave Maura a smile and cast a furtive glance at Maura's stomach. "I knew it would be a girl."

"I hope she'll be a great archeologist!" Arthur Isles nodded at nobody but himself. "You know it's my biggest regret."

Maura rolled her eyes. Of course, she knew it was her father's biggest regret. She had heard about it enough times to not forget it. Except there was a difference now. A nice one. If such detail used to annoy her in the past, she now found it very sweet.

Of course she wouldn't force her daughter to embrace any sort of career but she would be very proud if Bubble became an archeologist.

"She's doing fine. However, I'm afraid it's a bit too soon to talk about the major she's going to choose in college. Don't you think so, father?"

Maura felt relaxed. At peace. The frenzy she had felt a few minutes before didn't weigh on her shoulders anymore. Perhaps Jane's hand on her knee had something to do with it.

The discreet gesture was soothing, and reassuring. It was exactly what she needed.


	19. Chapter 19

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages, I really appreciate them.**

 **Chapter Nineteen**

"My mother wants to have lunch with you. She has booked a table for two at..." Maura grabbed a note she had written down while on the phone with her mother. She held it out to Jane. "At least she chose Italian cuisine, not French. I told her that you weren't very fond of snails."

Jane opened her mouth to complain but not a single sound came through her lips for she was shocked by the news. Literally. She looked at the piece of paper. Then she tried to analyze the situation: she had come to Maura's office for something completely different but she was only realizing now that it was a trap. She had been fooled. Maura had never planned on brainstorming for her - their - future kitten's name. Nope. She had simply wanted to literally throw Jane into her mother's arms. Jane thought about the kitten she and Maura had chosen on Thanksgiving. They had gone for a gray female who seemed to be very gentle. She purred a lot and loved cuddling. They should get her by January. But Maura's strategy to get Jane into her office was something else.

It was sneaky.

"What?!" Relieved to finally hear the sound of her own voice again, Jane gasped loudly. "Without you?! What on Earth is that, Maura? She's going to make double-entendre again."

Maura burst out laughing. She had been very amused when Jane had told her that her mother had insinuated a couple of things on Thanksgiving. She hadn't believed Jane at first but the innuendo Jane had mentioned had ended up convincing her. It was her mother's signature. Constance Isles was witty and she loved it. Obviously she had had fun with Jane on that day.

"Don't exaggerate, Jane. I'm sure she simply wants to..." Maura shrugged. She didn't know why her mother had insisted on sharing a lunch with Jane and Jane only. As a matter of fact, it had piqued her curiosity but she didn't want Jane to see it as a good excuse to freak out. "To talk about Bubble's future."

"Oh."

Talking about Maura's daughter was a lot less of a delicate subject than talking about the relationship Jane and Maura had. It was neutral. Somehow. Besides, Jane wanted to let Constance know that she was ready to assume the education of the child if something ever happened to Maura.

She didn't want Little M. to leave for Europe in order to be with her grandparents. Jane wanted Maura's child to remain in Boston. With her.

"Also... Please, have a seat." Maura motioned one of the two seats on the other side of her desk but she suddenly realized that the position would be way too formal. Thus she shook her head. "No, wait. We can go sit down on the couch."

"Nah. That's fine." Jane gave Maura a comforting smile. She didn't want to force Maura to stand up for nothing relevant. "What's going on?"

"I've had my attorneys on the phone. They are negociating a... Discreet... Agreement... With the newspaper that posted this article about us. I wanted to ask for a symbolical Dollar but then... Since they are representing you and I, would you like the money we're going to get from this agreement to go to a charity? I was thinking... I don't know, maybe something related to children. Like an orphanage."

Jane pondered each word Maura said. Of course, she hadn't forgotten about the article but since it had pushed her into Maura's arms then her frustration had vanished very quickly afterwards. She still got remarks from time to time – people who had read the article – but she didn't mind. It didn't reach her in any way. She oddly felt stronger before it now.

Her relationship with Maura had changed her opinion on the matter.

Jane was not about to forget this day, though. She still remembered her outburst in the restaurant and how Nina had looked clueless. Jane had never really apologized to her colleague for rushing out after an inaudible explanation. Nina hadn't mentioned the incident again. She had probably got to know about the article but then she had remained very discreet. Jane appreciated it.

"Ahem... Yeah. Yeah I like the charity thing." A nervous smile played on Jane's lips. She didn't have attorneys, unlike Maura. Being at the center of a legal agreement between justice and a newspaper was new to her. It was intimidating. "It's a good idea."

Of course, she wouldn't have said no to some extra-money but she didn't need any per se. She had a job and savings at the bank. Giving this amount to an orphanage was very sweet.

"Good." Maura nodded. "Now go have fun with my mother. And don't forget to tell her that it's not all about your hand." Maura's hazel eyes glimmered mischievously. "You do great things with your tongue too."

...

Whenever Jane looked at Constance, she couldn't help thinking about Maura making a remark about her tongue and it made her feel awkward. Very awkward. Maura was evil. Of course, she had always known that such comment would have an impact on Jane afterwards.

The Italian restaurant was small, with a strong family spirit. Jane had been surprised by Constance's choice. She had assumed that her friend's mother preferred something a lot more elegant and refined. Jane liked this place better though.

"I'm really glad you've accepted my invitation."

Jane nodded. She hadn't had much of a choice, actually. Maura had basically told her when and where then Jane had gone back to her office without being able to say no.

"Oh, it's fine. You're fine. I mean it's okay." Jane swallowed hard. She was making a fool of herself for absolutely no reason. Trying to ignore how burning her cheeks happened to be, she forced a smile on her lips. "It's great to see you're invested in Maura's pregnancy. She doesn't say it out loud but it makes her feel very happy."

It was true. Constance couldn't guess but Maura often told Jane little things about her mother and her frequent visits to Boston since she – Maura – had got pregnant. Maura and Constance were catching back on time. It wouldn't erase the mistakes from the past but they could build together a smooth future for Maura's child. They had turned a page and were writing a new one that they hoped a bit more unforgettable this time.

"You and I haven't talked about it yet but be reassured, I won't ask for any particular right over Maura's daughter if... If something were to happen. Of course, I will consider her as my granddauther – which she already is – but something tells me that her place is in Boston with you. However, Arthur and I will make sure that she gets all the financial help she may need. This child is an Isles. She belongs to our family."

It was a very formal statement but Jane appreciated it nonetheless. She couldn't have asked Constance to act differently anyway. As a matter of fact, the way she had presented the situation to Jane echoed the person she was. It was direct but very clear. Efficient.

"Oh... I'm really touched. Thank you."

"Have you and Maura already talked about adoption? Not just in case something happens to my daughter but simply because... Well, some things seem rather obvious right now, don't they?"

Jane cast a glance at the waitress but sadly she couldn't count on the employee to interrupt the conversation. The young woman was busy dealing with another table. Too far. Jane didn't have much of a choice: she had to face the conversation Constance wanted to have.

"Becauses I'm Maura's... Companion of pregnancy?"

The phrasing was singular but it still defined a part of what Jane had done for Maura so far. She simply hadn't added the romantic part to it. She wasn't sure it would be a good idea to do so.

"Among other things." Constance laughed lightly. She was in her element, very at ease. Her attitude deeply contrasted with Jane's. "Maura loves you."

It wasn't a question but an affirmation. Thus Jane didn't say anything back. Constance wasn't waiting for Jane to confirm. Maura's feelings were very clear in her mother's head. Jane simply wondered how much Constance knew about the bond that linked her to Maura. It wasn't easy to read through Constance Isles' mind.

"If you ever want to get married, we have a lovely house by the lake in Switzerland... And an old mansion in Scotland."

Jane froze. She didn't need to read through Constance's mind anymore. Once again, Maura's mother had been very blunt. And oddly polite. She actually seemed to enjoy the conversation a lot. A mysterious smile kept on playing on her lips while her eyes sparkle of delight. She wasn't mocking Jane. She was simply and genuinely happy.

Happy for Maura, for her daughter.

"No, we..." Jane laughed nervously. She shook her head then she looked down at the table. "No. There's no... There's nothing like that."

"How come? You don't like the idea of marriage?" Constance seemed to be honestly surprised. She didn't understand that the issue wasn't the notion of marriage but that Jane and Maura had never talked about it so far. "It would be a good thing for this child... At least from a legal point of view. It would make things easier for the two of you. Unless..."

Jane waited for Constance to resume her talking but she didn't. Thus Jane ended up looking up anew. She wasn't certain to understand the sudden pause in the conversation.

"Unless what?"

Jane almost regretted her question. Her instinct kept on telling her that she should have remained quiet because she may not like what was coming now. Yet she had no idea what Constance had in mind. No idea at all.

Maura's mother let a heavy sigh pass her lips. She crossed her hands and plunged her eyes into Jane's dark ones. She was very serious but not necessarily authoritative either. She was naturally firm.

"Unless you don't love my daughter. Do you love her, Jane? Are you in love with Maura?"

The question was very simple yet it carried the weight of key-moments, these precious seconds that can make a life go one way or another. Deep inside, Jane had felt it come. Thus she couldn't be surprised. Besides, she had the words. She could feel them brush the edge of her lips. It was very clear in her head.

She simply had to let them come out. Now.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews, messages and words of support. That means a lot to me, really.**

 **Third Trimester**

 **Chapter Twenty**

Jane looked at her surrounding. The living-room was neat, full of brand new furniture that she had bought for a third party. She didn't know how it felt like to sit down on that couch at night to watch television. She had no idea how many books could hold on these shelves. The mattress in the bedroom was foreign to her body. She didn't recognize any smell. Yet she knew the walls, just as she knew every corner of the apartment. The sun pierced through the kitchen windows in the morning and the sound of the rain seemed louder in the bedroom.

She loved this place, she would always do. She simply needed to turn the page.

"Maura and I bought you a plant." Jane held out the small plant she was carrying to the young woman who was standing in front of her. "Maura chose it, actually. I don't know much about these things. I hope you'll like it. It's a... Damn, I have no idea what it is. You have to water it once a week and it enjoys being in the sun."

"Wow, that's really nice of you." The woman grabbed the plant. She flashed Jane a bright smile. "I love plants. Thank you very much. May I ask who Maura is?"

Jane laughed lightly. She hadn't sold her Back Bay apartment but today was the day she moved out of it. She would simply rent it to Barbara – a young biologist – who was now standing in front of her and would move to Beacon Hill in order to be closer to Maura.

On a full-time basis.

Maura had just hit her third trimester and Jane had taken such decision very easily. As a matter of fact, she had wanted it even before talking about it to Maura. It made sense. A lot of sense. Beacon Hill was where she had to be. Everything had been settled within a week. It couldn't have gone any faster, actually.

"Of course! I'm sorry I didn't mention her earlier." Jane ran her tongue over her lips. She could feel how her heart was pounding loudly against her chest but it didn't scare her the slightest bit. "Maura is my partner."

It felt right. The words slid on Jane's lips with a sweet evidence. It was the first time that she openly said it to someone but the truth was that she was simply ready to assume the situation. She had looked at her reflection in the mirror of the bathroom earlier in the morning and she had realized that something had changed. As a matter of fact, something had changed since the lunch she had shared with Constance two weeks earlier. Maura's mother had helped her make a big step forward. Indirectly.

"Oh! Congratulations, then! Wait..." Barbara tilted her head and she squinted her eyes as something hit her mind. "Is it the woman who's pregnant? You're going to have a child? The two of you? I thought she was a friend, or a relative. I'm sorry!"

It was strange to speak about Maura's pregnancy from this perspective because nobody had mentioned it that way before but Jane had to admit that Barbara was right. Or at least to an extent. She would consider Maura's child as her own one; no matter what.

Things were simply a bit less explicit in real life.

"Yes. She's due in February so I guess it's time for us to start living together now."

It may have seemed to be rushed but Jane honestly thought it was how things had to go. She and Maura had begun to sleep together only two months and a half earlier but their relationship didn't look like any other one. Perhaps the strong friendship they had shared before had something to do with it. Neither of them really knew. But they could feel it.

The baby simply strengthened their decision.

...

 _Do you love her? Are you in love with my daughter?_

A delicate smile had played on Jane's lips when Constance had asked her about her feelings for Maura. Jane hadn't hesitated before replying. At peace with herself, she had simply looked into Constance's eyes with self-confidence.

The intimidating sentiment had vanished immediately as the words had passed her lips.

 _Was there ever any doubt?_

She hadn't said the words per se to Constance because Maura had to be the first one to hear them. Yet her answer had pleased Constance. A lot. Constance had laughed lightly before shaking her head to confirm what Jane had just said.

 _Not really, no... Welcome in the family, Jane._

Jane was in love. With a woman. As much as she accepted her feelings, there was still a gap between her and reality. She wasn't lost in any kind of fantasy but stating it in front of her colleagues and relatives were still hard. It was still relatively new. Or at least her relationship with Maura, not her attraction to women.

She simply needed time and a bit more self-confidence. The fact she had been able to say it to Barbara had warmed up her heart though. She was getting there, little by little. Just as she wanted to.

" _Ratatouille_?" Maura scoffed. She stared at Jane as if her friend had lost her mind. "We're trying to name a cat, Jane. Not a dish. Why _Ratatouille_? I didn't even know you actually knew this word."

The remark took Jane out of her daydream. She hadn't unpacked but all her cardboard boxes had been brought in one of the guestrooms. She had given Barbara the keys of the Back Bay apartment and she was now enjoying a peaceful evening by the fireplace with Maura in Beacon Hill. In their house. She had always felt at home here anyway. Now she simply had to take books out of boxes as well as a few pictures.

" _Ratatouille_ like in the Disney movie! C'mon, Maura. It'd be cute. Besides, what's a cat name exactly? Something noble? Like Cleopatra?"

With every trimester came a change that had a lot of importance in Maura's life. Or at least it was how Maura saw it. In June, she had learned that she was going to have child. When she had reached the second trimester, she and Jane had got closer. A lot closer. And now that she was into the last trimester, she and Jane had decided to live together.

Nobody had made any remark. Nobody had asked for any further explanation. The day Jane had announced that she was moving to Beacon Hill in order to be with Maura, people had simply asked her whether she needed help. Perhaps they had guessed. Maura didn't know for sure.

Just as she didn't know what Jane and her mother had talked about during that lunch two weeks earlier.

"I'm afraid I haven't watched _Ratatouille_ , Jane." Maura checked the list of names she had written down earlier on. She sighed heavily. Loudly. It was only a cat. What would happen when she and Jane would start talking about baby names? "What is the story about? _Ratatouille_ is a provençal dish for me."

Maura didn't know what Jane and her mother had talked about but she knew that – whatever they had said – it had made her mother happy because she had left Boston all smile. Maybe one day Jane would tell her a bit more about this lunch. Maybe. In the meantime, Maura tried to not overthink it too much. She had plenty of things to focus on anyway.

"Don't take it badly but your pop culture knowledge is terrible, Maura. It's a shame." Jane rolled her eyes dramatically before holding out to Maura the dvd that she had been hiding all this time in her back. "Consider it as your first baby shower present!"

Jane often bought Maura little things. It was a side of her personality that Maura would have never imagined before. Jane was very attentive, and sweet. She didn't buy expensive things but little nothings that were very symbolical instead.

Maura loved these gesture of affection. She felt loved.

She grabbed the dvd. A small enveloped had been scotched to it. Maura cast a glance at Jane who simply nodded in return. Thus Maura opened said envelope and took a thin bracelet out of it. It was made of a delicate and very thin leather, with a silver cat in the middle.

"They come by two so I got one for me too..." Jane began to blush. So she bowed her head to hide her pink cheeks behind a curtain of dark curls. "I got today's date engraved in the back."

Maura checked the back of the bracelet. She passed a finger on top of the carved characters. She smiled brightly. The present was really sweet.

"Thank you, Jane. Thank you for everything." Maura leaned over. She cupped her friend's face with her hand before planting a long kiss on her lips. "Thank you..."

A proud smile lit up Jane's face. She had never understood why kissing Maura - or holding her hand - seemed to be such a natural gesture even after so many years of pure, platonic friendship. It just made sense.

"The Disney movie is great too."

The remark caused Maura to laugh lightly. She hadn't watched many Disney movies but if Jane liked it then she wanted to watch it. Her curiosity was piqued. Besides, perhaps she would understand better why Jane wanted to name their kitten after it. Though the moment Maura looked at the dvd again, she realized that it seemed to be mostly mice oriented.

"Is that a mouse or a rat...?" She raised an eyebrow. "You want to name a cat after a rat, Jane? Really?" Maura shook her head in disbelief. Yet she had to admit that she loved the idea. It was singular to say the least. "What..."

She looked up anew and plunged her hazel eyes into Jane's dark ones. She hadn't simply thanked Jane for the dvd and for the bracelet but for everything. For all the rest. From the day Jane had showed her support in June to now, the day they had moved in together. It meant a lot to Maura. As a matter of fact, it went beyond her craziest expectations.

She had tried to understand what was going on – and why – but she had simply come to the conclusion that sometimes life was surprising and you had to accept it. To embrace it. This was exactly what was happening now: within two months, life had proved her and Jane that there was something immensely satisfying and comforting beyond their friendship. And it worked out. It really did.

The door bell interrupted her thoughts. She turned her head – looked at the door for brief seconds – then squinted her eyes at Jane. They weren't expecting anyone tonight.

A Cheshire smile played on Jane's lips, the kind that implicitly asked Maura for forgiveness. Jane shrugged before running to the door.

"You can't watch _Ratatouille_ without having pizza."

Maura was about to say something back when the baby kicked. She rested her hand on top of her stomach and watched how Jane paid the delivery guy. Bubble had reacted to pizza. This was something Maura wouldn't tell Jane about or else Jane would interpret it as some kind of junk food victory. Besides, she was too hungry right now to say the slightest thing.


	21. Chapter 21

**WARNING - Slight change of rate for this chapter, it's semi-M rated (a M-, somehow); thank you very much for all your reviews and messages, I really appreciate them.**

 **Chapter Twenty-One**

"Maura!"

Jane's voice rose so loudly that it caused Maura to jump and spill some of her drink on her in the process. Her hazel eyes widened as she stared at Jane as if her friend had lost her mind. Jane had literally yelled after her as if a terrible menace had been floating above her head. But she was at home - they were at home - and everything was going just fine.

"What?! Are you crazy?"

Jane made a step towards Maura. She pointed the glass Maura was holding. Her traits were deep and her lips were pursed. She looked concerned and quite angry.

"You're drinking whisky?! Do I have to remind you that you're pregnant? This has little to do with your glass of wine. This is strong alcohol! It's dangerous for Little M. C'mon, have you lost your mind? What's happened to you?"

Maura observed her glass. It was 7pm and Jane could have been right because everyone had a drink at 7pm in the Isles universe. Or at least her mother did. Yet reality was very different this time.

"This isn't whisky, Jane. This is organic apple juice." Maura had to admit that her drink looked just as dark – amber – as whisky. But there was nothing to worry about here. She held her glass out for Jane to check it by herself. "Here."

Jane grabbed the glass but her traits had already softened up. As a matter of fact, she felt a bit stupid right now. She took a sip of the drink nonetheless before bowing her head shamefully. She had freaked out. The moment she had walked into the kitchen and she had seen Maura drink an amber beverage, her world had collapsed.

"Oh. Then why using a whisky glass? Or a Cognac glass? Or whatever alcohol it's named after..." Jane went to give the glass back to Maura but Maura shook her head and she checked the damage caused by Jane's outburst instead. Jane set the glass down on the kitchen counter before grabbing Maura by the wrist. "No, let me do."

"Because it was at reached, Jane. That's why. I was... I was thirsty and most of the other glasses are in the dishwasher."

Jane's lips brushed Maura's inner forearm. The tip of her tongue slid on her friend's skin as she licked the drop of apple juice Maura had accidentally spilled while jumping of surprise.

Jane's dark eyes looked into Maura's hazel ones with a mischievous intensity that caused Maura to giggle. She didn't need to ask Jane what she had in mind. It was all too clear.

"I thought you were hungry." Maura let Jane do. She even made a step closer and she tilted her head to offer a better angle of her neck to Jane's lips. She smirked. "Aren't you anymore?"

"I think I can wait a little." Jane kissed Maura's neck. Softly. Suggestively. She then looked into her friend's eyes anew. "Am I done or I've missed another drop of apple juice?"

Jane's hoarse voice had turned husky, and lower. Maura bit her lower lip. She took a deep breath and let her latent arousal pass underneath her skin. She had not planned on making love right now but she could easily bring changes to the list of tasks she had had in mind for the evening. This wasn't a problem at all. On the contrary.

"There. There's some too."

Without breaking eye-contact with Jane, Maura showed the pale inches of skin between her breasts. Of course, it wasn't true. She hadn't spilled her drink on her chest but the occasion was too perfect to be missed.

"Oh, I see."

Their playful interaction was very unusual for they never really gave into such kind of scenario. They simply kissed or began to caress each other most of the times and it resulted enough for both to understand what was supposed to happen next. Maura didn't mind this shift into their intimate habits but it nonetheless stirred up a wave of timidity within herself. Against all expectations. She didn't really understand her very own reaction.

Her uncertainties vanished in the air the moment Jane's tongue slid between her breasts. She leaned her head backwards – arched her back – then sank a hand into Jane's dark curls in order to pull her closer to her body. For the very first time since she had come back home from work, Maura noticed how strongly the wind was blowing. Closing her eyes pushed her to focus on her other senses and the mere sound around her seemed to suddenly explode into her ears.

"Come with me..."

Maura grabbed Jane by the hand. They could have stayed in the kitchen – or they could have even moved to the couch – but Angela was in the guesthouse and the last thing Maura wanted was Jane's mother to walk in on them. Maura would not accept any interruption. Jane had started a tantalizing game: she better finished it.

Furtive kisses and delicate caresses led them to the master bedroom. Before Maura had time to realize it, she was lying down on the bed while deepening their kiss with authority. She rolled on her side then she slid a leg between Jane's.

Maura may feel uncomfortable because of her rounded stomach, her movements were still quite fluid. Lying face down was rather challenging but she still managed to find an improbable angle whenever she wanted to have control of the situation. Jane adapted to the position with easiness and – very often – with eagerness as well. Just like now.

As their kisses became longer and the fast beats of their hearts echoed the frenzy of their hands going up and down each other's body, Maura found a way to take Jane's top off. The gesture made Maura sigh into Jane's mouth and she couldn't help smiling in their kiss as she felt her friend's shivering skin under her fingertips. Breathless, Maura abandoned Jane's lips rather reluctantly and she decided to focus on the rest of her body. Things were going quite fast for something that hadn't even been planned.

They matched. The first time Maura and Jane had had sex, it was exactly the conclusion Maura had drawn: she and Jane matched. They not only got along in real life but them being sexual partners was just as good as the rest. It worked out naturally. Easily.

They hadn't been together for three months yet but Maura could say that she now was able to confirm the first feeling she had had. A sweet routine of some sort had wrapped them up but she and Jane still matched in bed.

It was still intense. And sweet. And rough, when they both needed it. They didn't even need to speak up to tell each other about what they wanted, what kind of desires they had. They simply guessed it.

Like now.

Maura sat up on Jane. She had unhooked her friend's bra and Jane's breasts now appeared free in front of her eyes. Maura subconsciously licked her lips as she looked at them. She planted a soft kiss on one of them before sitting up again. She took her shirt off and she got rid of her bra as well. She wanted to feel Jane's skin against hers. She wanted to feed herself of her friend's body heat, and to feel her shiver under her touch.

Under the tip of her tongue, and under her fingertips.

Maura and Jane were quite sexually active but then they were still in the honeymoon phase. They were so much in it actually that nobody knew for them outside a bunch of people.

Sometimes Maura feared that Jane may mistake her sexual drive but Maura simply wanted to take advantage of it because she knew that it wouldn't last. The last month of her pregnancy may push her to slow down and once her daughter would be born then she and Jane would focus on the newborn for a while. It wouldn't be the same anymore. Besides, the novelty of their relationship was exciting too. They needed this intimacy, as if to catch back on time and missed opportunities.

Maura captured Jane's lips anew, with eagerness. She bit Jane's lower lip and slid her tongue over it until Jane opened her mouth and she allowed Maura to deepen their kiss. The moment their respective tongues brushed, Maura shivered. She always did when it happened. The degree of intimacy the gesture owned drove her on the edge almost just as much as a caress.

She unbuttoned Jane's jeans before starting the exploration of her friend's body with her lips. She kissed Jane's breasts – felt her firm, aroused nipples under her tongue – while her hand played with the soft skin of her pelvis. By the time Maura reached Jane's lower stomach, she knew that it was time to be a lot more direct. She could feel it. She could sense it. In Jane's breathing, in the way she kept on arching her body.

Thus Maura helped Jane take her jeans off. The boxers she was wearing slid down her thin legs and caressed her olive skin with the same sensuality Maura showed in her kisses.

Maura undressed completely too.

A couple of kisses on Jane's inner thighs led Maura directly to what she had been thinking all along. She was panting – just like Jane – and foreplay were starting to lose their appeal. Maura wanted to step up her game. Right now.

She went straight for Jane's hot and wet flesh. Sometimes she liked teasing her friend in order to drive her on the edge but neither of them needed it tonight. Perhaps the unusual little scenario they had played in the kitchen had aroused them a lot more than they had imagined it to. Whatever it was, Maura only found relief in the way Jane arched her back the moment the tip of her tongue made contact with her sensitive body.

Maura liked having control. She liked dominating her partner. She found it to be extremely arousing to feel someone's orgasm build under her touch. She liked caressing her partner's thighs – and brush their aroused breasts – just to drive them even crazier. There was something satisfying about it. Satisfying and exciting.

With Jane, she liked resting a hand on top of her lower stomach. She didn't prevent her from arching her back. On the contrary. Maura simply felt the intensity of her friend's feelings a lot more with her hand pressed there, so close to her pelvis. Sometimes she just wished she could pass underneath Jane's skin. Then they would become one and something extraordinary would rise from it.

Something powerful like the unyelding love she had for Jane, the one that made her heart beat so quickly. The one she was addicted to. Her feelings may have taken her by surprise, Maura didn't regret any of the things she was now living.


	22. Chapter 22

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages, I'm really happy to see that you're all enjoying this story so far.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Two**

Jane's heart always beat faster when she was in Dr. Whitman's office and even if she did her best to hide her nervousness then it didn't pass unnoticed to Maura. Jane used to say that it was simply her Italian roots that were showing by then – that you couldn't be Italian and not get worried at the doctor's – but Maura knew that Jane's concerns lay deeper within herself.

Jane cared for her, and for the baby. The attention she showed Maura on a daily basis was evident and it sweetly betrayed the feelings she had before this pregnancy. She wasn't accidentally invested in it. She hadn't been forced to care about it as much as she did. She wanted it, from the bottom of her heart.

Luckily Dr. Whitman's serene mood brought Jane the comfort she needed. Maura's ob/gyn was extremely caring. She spoke softly as a smile always lit up her graceful traits. She was an excellent medical doctor. Jane liked her very much.

"Your results are perfect, Maura." Dr. Whitman checked the sheet of paper that she had received from the lab. "You couldn't ask for a better..."

"Does this mean she doesn't need vitamins?" Aware of the impolite way she had interrupted the ob/gyn, Jane raised a hand to apologize. She didn't put an end to her questions though. On the contrary. She was worried and she needed Dr. Whitman to answer her. "All the pregnant women take vitamins, these days. Shouldn't Maura take some too?"

Maura rolled her eyes but she decided to remain quiet and to let Dr. Whitman answer for her. Vitamins had been a source of conflict between her and Jane. If Jane was convinced that a pregnancy couldn't go fine if the future mother didn't have her daily intake of vitamins, Maura thought that the diet she followed was healthy enough to bring her the vitamins she and her daughter needed.

The results of her blood test proved it.

"Maura's results couldn't be any better, Jane. I don't see any reason for her to take vitamins." Dr. Whitman focused on Maura. "Have you been tired, lately? I know that you've slowed down on conducting autopsies. Does this new work pace suit you?"

"Outside of these contractions, I'm doing just fine... Everything goes well at my workplace as well and no... I'm not particularly tired. I'm fine, or as fine as I can be at this stage."

It was true. Of course, Maura couldn't lie but she still managed to distort the truth whenever she needed to. Yet she had simply been honest with Dr. Whitman though. Hiding a possible fatigue to her ob/gyn would have been pointless if not just dangerous. Maura may have been stubborn, she still knew that there were limits to respect.

"Yes, these contractions..." Dr. Whitman ran her tongue over her lips as she squinted her eyes in an effort of concentration. As much as it was perfectly normal for the future mother to have contractions at this stage of the pregnancy, Elsa Whitman had to admit that Maura's were quite intense. Too much even. "Hmm... Have you asked your mother if she suffered from the same kind of contractions when she was expecting you?"

The question caused Maura to freeze. She opened her mouth to speak but she felt herself fall into an labyrinth of silence. Trapped between invisible walls and dead-end paths, she swallowed hard and tried to find the most appropriate words to answer Dr. Whitman's question.

Her reaction was probably ridiculous, and a tad exaggerated. As a medical doctor herself, Maura understood the reason that lay behind Dr. Whitman's question. As a matter of fact, it was an excellent question. The issue was that it pushed Maura to think about something she had tried to not think about until now.

"I was adopted." The words came out with a palpable fragility that caused Maura to bow her head shamefully. "I mean..."

She hadn't added this detail to her medical file because she knew her father and mother's respective medical conditions which was the only thing that interested Dr. Whitman. Or at least until now. It had never crossed Maura's mind that her intense contractions may be linked to her genes.

"Oh." Dr. Whitman barely hid her surprise. She looked at Maura before glancing at Jane who seemed to be just as embarrassed as her partner was. "Then... Forget what I said. You know what? Never mind. It's..."

"But I can ask." Her unusual high-pitched tone of her voice made Maura jump. She knew that she was blushing but she wanted to prove everyone in the room that she was strong enough to handle the situation all by herself. Thus she looked up and smiled at her ob/gyn. "We're in touch."

Dr. Whitman sighed of relief. She rested her hand on her chest then she rolled her eyes a tad dramatically.

"Gosh, I thought I'd said something wrong for a minute... Like... Something very taboo." The woman laughed nervously. She ran a hand through her hair before giving Maura a nod. "Then ask her about the contractions. Actually, ask her about her pregnancy if the subject isn't too sensitive. You may learn a lot and it may help you go through yours. The bond you're currently building with your child depends on the quality of these nine months too."

...

If many Bostonians used to complain about the winter, Maura actually loved it. The snow that had been falling for two consecutive days was now covering Boston Common of a pure ribbon of whiteness that matched with the Christmas Market that had been launched over the weekend. The place looked different in the winter but lovely nonetheless.

Even magical to an extent.

She hadn't always liked the holiday season but now that she had friends and a family - even two families - Maura made sure to live the most of these few white months. The wind was icy – the top of her nose was red – but walking through the park holding Jane's hand made her immensely happy.

Or at least it used to because her joy had collapsed the moment Dr. Whitman had mentioned her biological family.

Maura hadn't told Hope nor Cailyn that she was expecting a child. She hadn't let her father know either but she was certain that he already knew. Even in jail, Paddy Doyle read the newspapers every morning and most of them had already announced the chief medical examiner's pregnancy in their pages. The scenario couldn't be more different for her biological mother though.

Cailyn had left for England to go study psychology in Cambridge for a year while Hope was on a two-year humanitarian mission in Malawi. Maura's silence was simply the result of a matter of consequences. It was exactly the excuse she had been repeating to herself since she had announced her pregnancy to everyone in August, for her birthday.

To everyone but to Hope and Cailyn.

Perhaps the truth was a bit different but she was reluctant to think about it. Besides, many things had happened into her life these past few months. She hadn't had time to think about Hope and Cailyn. Her relationship with Jane had been one of her priorities.

"How about a hot chocolate and a waffle?" Jane stopped walking. She turned around to look at Maura and she flashed her a bright smile. "I'm dying for an obscene amount of whipped cream. What do you think?"

Maura laughed lightly. She knew why Jane was suddenly being so cheerful. As a matter of fact, it was very sweet and she appreciated it even if it didn't change anything to the guilt she had been feeling since they had left Dr. Whitman's office. She gave her friend a nod – the friend she shyly began to see as her partner – and she let Jane run to the small line of people who were waiting for their turn at the waffle wooden cabin.

Maura went to sit down at one of the tables that were available – the ones that had heating lamps – and she observed the ice rink in the distance in the meantime.

She would give anything to go ice-skating but she knew that Jane would disagree. Maura was due in two months. Ice-skating was not the kind of activities one would recommend her at this stage of her pregnancy.

There weren't many ice skaters yet for it was too early in the day and probably a tad too cold as well. She bit her lower lip and closed her eyes for long seconds in order to focus on her blurry feelings.

She didn't want to lie to Hope, and even less to Cailyn. She certainly didn't want to hide her pregnancy from them. She simply didn't know how to bring up the subject. The geographical distance between the three of them made the peculiarity of their bond even more delicate to handle and an extreme confusion inhabited Maura's head.

"Here we go." Jane set the tray she was holding down on the table before sitting in front of Maura. "Two hot chocolates, a chocolate waffle with extra-whipped cream for me and... A double-chocolate waffle with sugar sprinkles for you."

The fact Jane hadn't even needed to ask Maura the type of waffle she was craving was another proof of their natural connection. The detail warmed up Maura's heart and her lips curled up in a sincere smile.

"Thank you..."

Neither of them had talked much since they had left Dr. Whitman's office. They had walked to Boston Common in silence with all the weight of these untold things they both carried on their shoulders. The atmosphere was heavy, and they both needed to speak. And if Jane had made the first step by suggesting a waffle and a hot drink, it was now Maura's turn to say something.

"I don't know how to tell Hope." The words hit the air wrapped in a deep bitterness. Maura frowned – concentrated – as she brought her hands around her cup of hot chocolate in order to warm up a bit. "I can't drop this bomb in a mail, in the post-scriptum section. _By the way, the daughter you once abandoned is pregnant and she's due in February. She's having a daughter too. Have a good day. I hope everything's fine in Malawi!_ "

"First of all, she didn't abandon you." Jane shrugged to ponder her own remark. "Not really. And she regrets it. You know she does." The moment was important and Jane knew it. She could feel the tension that currently haunted Maura's mind. She hated it. "You could have a Skype session. It'll still be a lot more personal than a mail. What do you think?"

Maura thought that she didn't think anything about it. She didn't have an opinion on the matter. Absolutely none. It wasn't that she didn't want to have one but she simply didn't manage to reach this stage. She felt stuck for a reason she couldn't really understand. And behind her silence hid a strong frustration.


	23. Chapter 23

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for the reviews and messages, I really appreciate them. / Fan1983etplus: merci beaucoup pour ce long message d'encouragement, c'est très gentil de votre part et j'essayerai de m'en souvenir.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Three**

The book caught Jane's attention. The importance of the task that she was about to do vanished within a second as her eyes fixed upon Maura's baby names book that had been set down on the couch of the living-room. Jane cast a glance around her in order to make sure that she was alone. Reassured, she picked up the book and began to leaf through it.

She and Maura hadn't talked about baby names yet. However, Jane knew that Maura had finally opened the book.

As a matter of fact, Maura spent a lot of time reading it. She even wrote down little notes that she then slid between the pages. Yet she remained very quiet over it. Her baby names book had become some sort of diary and Jane knew that she shouldn't have been leafing through it. The temptation had been too strong though. She hadn't been able to resist.

She wanted to know which names Maura had chosen so far. She wanted to have a general idea of Maura's likes and dislikes. If Maura hadn't told Jane about it yet then it meant that she had her reasons. Jane understood this, and she respected it.

Her curiosity had simply been piqued.

Maura wasn't home. She wouldn't be back before at least another hour which meant Jane had all the time in the world to go through Maura's baby names list. It was very wrong and Jane already felt guilty but she couldn't stop now that she had begun to leaf through the pages.

"Jane, I have an issue with my iPad. Can you help me?"

Jane jumped. She let go of the book and it fell down on the floor along with a dozen of pieces of paper Maura had put in it. A strong wave of panic passed underneath Jane's skin. It rushed through her veins at light speed and she began to breath loudly.

"Oh no. No, no, no, no, no."

She barely looked at her mother who had walked into the house without any warning and she squatted to pick up the different pieces of paper. She was dead: Maura would notice the mess in her book. Jane knew her too well: Maura had certainly put the different notes between what she saw as key-pages except Jane didn't know which ones these were.

All Jane could do now was to pick up the mess she had created and wait for her demise. It wasn't good at all.

"What are you doing?Jane...? You look like you've been caught in the act." Angela frowned. She made a step towards her daughter to check the book Jane was holding. "Oh... The two of you have finally started talking about baby names? About time! I thought it'd never happen!"

Jane put the small sheet of paper back into the book rather haphazardly. She set the book down on the couch anew before finally focusing on her mother. This book was cursed: she wouldn't touch it ever again.

"No, we haven't. But it's Maura's decision anyway. It's her child... She does whatever she wants with Little M. I don't..."

Angela scoffed so loudly that it caused Jane to make a step backwards. Her mother's reaction seemed oddly sincere yet completely exaggerated. But against all expectations, Angela's traits softened suddenly. She sat down on the couch and waited for her daughter to sit down next to her. Something had just changed in Angela's behavior. Something that Jane didn't know how to interpret. Jane swallowed hard.

"Yeah...?"

Jane slowly sat down on the couch with the baby names book was just between her and her mother cruelly reminding her that she would pay for her curiosity later on. Her guilt had just reached its top level.

"I was hoping it would come from you but it seems like it won't so..." Angela looked almost shy, intimidated. She was looking for her words and she barely dared to look at her daughter. Her voice was shaking too. "We're in December now and Maura's due in February. Don't you think it's time for you to assume what's going on? You're not fooling anyone, Jane. Just because we're silent doesn't mean we can't see. I don't... I don't understand why you keep on hiding it when we're all fine with it."

Jane swallowed hard. She didn't need to ask her mother further details because she perfectly knew what her mother was talking about. She may be saying it through half-words – delicate ones – Jane still got it. For the very first time in her life, Jane regretted that Constance couldn't around, because she would have handled a lot better Maura's mother's bluntness. Just like that day at the Italian restaurant when Constance had asked her about her feelings for Maura.

Angela's sweetness was adorable but it didn't match the ocean of silence that turned Jane quiet. Jane needed to some help, she had to be pushed to say things. It didn't stop Angela though.

"She may be the one who will give birth but this child is yours too. Come on... Assume your responsibilities, Jane. Assume your responsibilities as Maura's partner."

Jane remained quiet. She had wanted to complain and to tell her mother that she was wrong – that she was already assuming this pregnancy, a lot – but the last word her mother had used had tightened her heart with too much strength for her to speak.

"I don't want you to be ashamed, I don't want you to feel guilty. Maura's the best thing that has ever happened to you, Janie. You should realize how lucky you are instead of... You don't even hide but why don't you openly say it? What are you afraid of?"

Angela's voice was calm, and soothing. It matched her behavior and the ounce of bitterness that floated above their heards. The moment was delicate. It was completely unplanned but perhaps it was meant to be that way.

And it was okay.

"I'm not afraid of anything." The confidence of Jane's reply didn't show in her voice that sounded way too fragile. She swallowed hard and tried to hold back the burning tears that were now menacing her eyes. "Maybe you'd understand what I mean if you'd been called a dyke your whole life."

The words hit the air with all the strength burning regrets could hold. Jane closed her eyes for brief seconds. She meant what she had just said because it was true. It had started at school when she was very young and it still happened nowadays. The issue wasn't the word itself of course but the resentment that hid behind it whenever people said it.

It was insulting. She felt insulted.

Thus the last thing she wanted was to prove them right even if they were. Somehow.

"What?" Angela must have not expected such kind of answer because she found herself unable to say anything back. "I..." And then it hit her. "And so what? Are you happy? Jane, look at me." Angela cupped her daughter's face in her hands in order to make her look up. "Are you happy, Jane? Because if you are then who cares about the rest?"

Jane had to admit that her mother's words were very sweet. Sadly they weren't enough to ease the pain she had been feeling for so long. Nor the shame that came from it.

"You don't understand, ma'. There..." Jane looked down at her lap. "There had been other women. Maura isn't the first one."

The remark must have surprised Angela because she loosened the grip on her daughter's face for a couple of seconds. Jane didn't move. She wasn't sure she had said what she should have said. Even Maura didn't know about these other women. She had probably guessed it by now but Jane hadn't put words on her secret past yet.

"I repeat it, Jane: and so what? Life isn't necessarily black or white. It can be gray too... As long as you're happy then nothing else should matter. Even less now that Maura is gonna have a baby. Your life's about to change forever. You're living something huge. You should be proud of it, you should show it!"

There hadn't been a zillion women either but just a few: a stolen kiss in high school, a confusing sexual attraction during her first year at the Academy, a one-night stand. A couple of flings that weren't worth mentioning.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the intensity of what Jane was living with Maura now but it was still something that she had hidden from her family. From anyone, actually.

"I know all this. Just as I know I don't know why it happened, why Maura and I... Why it changed between us. I'm fine with it, I really am. But it's not easy."

"Maybe it's not easy in your head but it should be easy in your heart: if you love Maura – if you're happy with her – then the rest doesn't matter. You know what's not easy?"

Jane shook her head.

She would need time to think about the conversation she and her mother had just had. She would need time to let the words sink in, to enjoy the warmth and the love that rose from them. The acceptance as well.

"No... What's not easy?"

Angela picked up Maura's baby names book, the one Jane had shamefully set down again after destroying whatever plot notes Maura had come up with.

"To choose a name for a child you haven't hold in your arms yet and – right now – to put back into their order the notes your partner had taken and that you messed when you let the damn book fall on the floor. A pregnant woman is sensitive, Jane. You're not supposed to mess with her notes."

Jane laughed lightly. She was glad to see that the tension she had been feeling was slowly fading away and that life had resumed. She rolled her eyes and let a moan of despair slide on her lips.

"Gosh, I know. She's gonna kill me." Jane buried her face in her hands. She poked an eye through her fingers in order to look at her mother. "And it's all your fault... You scared me."

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli!" But the semblance of anger Angela tried to show got swept away by her loud laughter. She took all the notes out of the book before proceeding to set them down on the coffee table. "Come on, I will help you. It can't be that hard, right? There must be some logic between Maura's notes and the names in this book."

Jane looked at the notes as a sincere smile played on her lips. Her whisper sounded sweet, full of a honesty she too rarely allowed to be heard.

"Thank you..."


	24. Chapter 24

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews / Veronika: estoy de acuerdo contigo, todo lo que dijiste a proposito de las madres es muy justo.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Four**

Maura walked back into the master bedroom. Jane had stayed in bed, as asked. She had simply sat up in bed and she was now patiently waiting for Maura's return. Or as patiently as Jane Rizzoli could wait for something that was not planned.

Maura took a deep breath in order to boost her slightly fragile self-confidence. She walked to the bed then she sat down next to Jane.

December, 24th: for the very first time in a long while, Maura felt stressed on this day. She had a lot of things to do, very important ones. The gentle side of the holidays didn't weigh much against all the rest. The magic of Christmas was there – not so far – but she still had to reach it. It would happen at the end of the day if everything went the way she had planned it.

"This is for you."

Jane looked down at the present that Maura was holding out to her. Perplexed, she didn't move at first and she simply wondered what was really going on. She dared a timid glance at Maura after long seconds of hesitation.

"Aren't we supposed to wait for tomorrow morning?" A nervous laugh escaped Jane's throat. She glanced at Maura anew before grabbing the present nonetheless. She hated surprises but she also knew that nothing bad could come from Maura because Maura hated surprises just as much. "What is it? Why now?"

The house was quiet. Angela had offered them to walk out Jo Friday the evening before and the snow that had fallen over Boston during the night stifled the sound of the traffic. It was relaxing, extremely relaxing. The perfect morning.

"Just... Open it. I wanted us to be alone for... For it. Consider it as an extra-present."

Maura blushed. She tried to hide her pink cheeks behind her honey blond curls but it didn't work out very well. Thus she laughed nervously instead. She had thought about this moment plenty of times – she had even made beautiful sentences in her head – but reality was catching back on her. One more time. Her hands were shaking and her heart was beating too fast for her to be able to say the mere thing. That's why she stuck to very short sentences.

Jane obliged nonetheless. Her curiosity was piqued anyway and she couldn't turn down Maura's present. It wouldn't have made a lot of sense.

Her instinct told her to not rush into things. Thus she carefully began to unwrap the mysterious present. Very slowly. The atmosphere was oddly electric. She could feel it in spite of her incomprehension. Her hands were shaking too.

"What..." The multicolored wrapping paper finally revealed a very random brown envelope. A large one. Jane checked both sides but Maura hadn't written anything on it. It was bear, anonymous. "It's a bit intriguing."

Jane didn't know what to say and Maura's silence only managed to make her heart beat even faster. A nervous laugh passed her lips and it hit the air with all the sudden vulnerability Jane felt. She didn't know what was going on but she could say that - whatever the nature of said present was - the situation was unusual. Not awkward nor menacing but simply different. Out of the ordinary.

The world stopped turning the moment she opened the envelope and took the papers out of it. As a matter of fact, she even froze as soon as her eyes fixed upon the title that appeared on top of the document. She swallowed hard.

Yet she remained desperately quiet.

"I know that we haven't talked about it before but..." Maura looked down at her stomach. The baby was very quiet for once. Bubble had probably understood that something important was going on. Maura caressed her stomach briefly as she focused on her daughter. "I want you to adopt my daughter, Jane. Our daughter. I didn't even need to weigh the pro and con because it has always made sense. Because.. I love you." A surge of confidence caused Maura to look into Jane's eyes. She let the silence of the house pass underneath her skin and – once her heart felt warm and safe – she spoke anew. "I love you, Jane. I'm in love with you."

The whispered declaration turned out to own the strength of the biggest tempests. It made Jane's heart tip over and it caused a torrent of feelings to rush through her veins at light speed. The torrent became a river, and the river became a whirl. By the time the whirl gained in strength again, tears were running down Jane's cheeks.

When she thought about it, Maura was certain that she would have given Jane these papers no matter what but the sudden shift into their relationship had helped her to make the first step towards an adoption process. She had talked about it with her mother just as she knew that Jane had talked about them to Angela. It was the right moment.

Maura didn't like trusting her instinct but her pregnancy caused her to be more attentive to her feelings and she could feel it was the right time, she could feel it deep inside. Waiting for it for so long hadn't been vain. She and Jane had needed this lapse of time.

"You..." Jane looked at the papers anew but only furtively – briefly – as if she were afraid they would burn her eyes. She thought about her mother, and how she had told her to assume her responsibilities as Maura's partner. They had shared this conversation a week earlier only. It was still very fresh in Jane's mind. Vivid. Then there were Maura's words. These three words that can change a person within a second. "I..."

Maura gave Jane a half-smile. She understood Jane's reaction but the lack of proper answer began to slightly freak her out. She cleared her voice – out of nervousness – and waited for Jane to make a sentence.

The kiss surprised her. It stole her breath like the first time Jane had kissed her. So unexpectedly. She felt Jane's hand slide on her nape and the heat of her lips melt on hers. They weren't in the walk-in closet this time and the eagerness of that day had melted into something a lot more emotional this morning but Maura nonetheless had the feeling that she was living that scene again.

That moment that had changed so many things.

"I love you, Maura." Jane's words slid on Maura's lips very quietly as soon as Jane broke the kiss. She remained close to Maura's mouth though. She simply looked up and plunged her eyes into Maura's hazel ones. "I love you and I promise to take care of this child the way I'll take care of you, the way you take care of me. I promise it to you, Maura. I really do."

...

Maura closed the Skype window before relaxing on the couch. She sighed – loudly – and cast a glance at her surrounding. Her office was neat, as usual.

It had gone well. As a matter of fact, the Skype call had gone very well. Hope had been surprised but extremely happy as well to learn about Maura's pregnancy. She had asked Maura many things about the baby, about the way she had lived all these months. She hadn't taken Maura's silence badly. She even understood it. On the paper, Maura couldn't have asked for a better reaction.

Sadly a part of her still felt very tormented by it.

She rested a hand on top of her stomach as the baby moved and she felt a wave of contractions come up. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down just as Dr. Whitman had told her to do whenever these contractions happened.

Her level of stress was to blame: in the morning she had asked Jane to adopt her daughter and this afternoon she had told her biological mother that she was expecting a child. Of course, her body had to react to it one way or another. All these contractions were painful but they made sense. They simply reflected the rollercoaster of emotions she was going through.

Maura focused on what had happened in the morning because she needed the sweetness Jane had brought her. She needed to enjoy it again, to feel it embrace her heart lovingly.

She felt accomplished, and complete. She wouldn't have been any happier if she had proposed to Jane, actually. A powerful pride made her smile brightly and the truth was that she felt relieved too.

At no moment had she really imagined that Jane would turn her down but hearing her partner confess her feelings and her desires of parenthood regarding Bubble was nonetheless very comforting.

They were a family. Bubble wasn't born yet but Maura had the feeling that she – Jane – and the baby formed a family. Her family. The one she had always dreamed about.

She felt extremely lucky.

"Alright... Back to work."

She picked up the baby names book that she had previously set down on the couch next to her and she opened the first page. It was a new edition. Apparently Jo Friday had eaten the old one or at least it was the excuse Jane had used when Maura had asked her partner if she had seen said book the week before.

 _Partner_. Maura smiled: it couldn't feel any righter.

A knock on the door caused her to look up. She smiled at Kent, rather relieved to now have an excuse to not study baby names again. Maura really had a hard time picking up a name, so much actually that she lived it as a nightmare.

"Christmas tea time... And scones, just as planned."

Maura set the book down and motioned her colleague to come in. She was starving and the homemade scones Kent had promised her looked really delicious. She invited him to choose a seat. Kent would replace her during her maternity leave. She knew that she could count on him, that he had what it took to fulfill his role. Yet Maura wanted to spend some more time with him before it to happen.

She didn't know much about Kent. Perhaps it was the right time to actually get to know him a tad more. It was only fair.

"How's the baby name hunt going?" Kent poured them two mugs of tea. He held one out to Maura before setting two scones in a small plate for her to eat. "Have you also chosen a name for your cat? You're getting her in two weeks, don't forget."

"Sushi."

"I beg your pardon?" Kent frowned. He honestly looked a tad confused by Maura's incomprehensible answer. "These are scones, not sushis."

Maura burst out laughing.

"I know! It's not what I mean... I'm sorry." She raised a hand to apologize. "The cat. The cat is named Sushi. Jane liked Ratatouille but she can hardly pronounce it properly which tends to go on my nerves so... Sushi it is. It's a compromise."

A compromise Maura thought to be sweet.


	25. Chapter 25

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Five**

Maura hadn't made three steps that a wave of bitterness caused her to lean against the wall in order to catch back her breath. She closed her eyes and counted until ten in her head. The baby kicked at six. Maura rested a hand on top of her stomach then she tried to feed herself of her daughter's energy just as D. Whitman had told her to do.

She opened her eyes anew. Slowly.

The emptiness of the room made her feel guilty. January was just at the corner and she hadn't even bought the slightest thing for the nursery yet. As a matter of fact, she hadn't even thought about it. The superhero cape that Jane had bought at the start of Maura's pregnancy was hanging on the wall emphasizing even more the emptiness of the nursery. It was a disaster.

Maura was taken aback by her own behavior. She didn't understand what was going on. At this stage of a pregnancy, every single future mother thought about nothing but the baby. The nursery. The clothes. Every single one but Maura. She hadn't even decided on a name yet and it drove her crazy.

Her procrastination was terrible because her pregnancy wasn't a classic one. She had had to get injections in order to get it, she had had to fight for it. Yet she didn't bring it justice right now. Absolutely not.

"It looks strange without furniture inside."

Maura nodded but she didn't say anything back. Jane was right but the truth was that Maura didn't even know what kind of furniture she wanted for her daughter now that she had got rid of the old one. Even if she tried to focus on her post-pregnancy life, nothing worked out. Her brain shut down and she was left with very blurry ideas.

She had planned the IVF, the scientific part of her pregnancy. Not the human one. And now that she was getting closer and closer to it, she didn't know what to do anymore. She was good at science, not at building life.

"Are you okay?"

Of course, Jane felt Maura's discomfort within a second. Her partner's traits were dark, and deep. The smile that usually made her eyes glimmer had vanished. Maura didn't look happy at all. On the contrary. She looked confused and worried.

"Do you think I'm going to be a good mother?"

As much as the question was honest, Maura knew that Jane's answer would be politically correct. Just as she knew that said question was cliché. It wasn't her fault though if she had the feeling to be floating in an ocean of doubts right now. Maura didn't know anything anymore, at the worst moment ever. Her reaction didn't make sense. Jane had filled the papers to become a co-parent, Hope was thrilled by the pregnancy. Everything was going fine.

Yet Maura didn't manage to get rid of this heavy feeling that was weighing on her shoulders and it was extremely frustrating.

"No. You're gonna be awful. I'm glad you're mentioning it now 'cause I was worried it'd never cross your mind. It's not too late. Let's give Little M back to the lab. C'mon, I take you there and then we celebrate with Margarita's."

Maura's hazel eyes widened in fear until it hit her that Jane was simply jocking. Alright, perhaps her partner's answer had surprised her and it hadn't been as sweet as she had expected it to be but the message Jane wanted to pass was exactly the same though: she didn't have any doubt when Maura had plenty of them.

"I mean it, Jane." Maura glanced at Jane way too furtively for Jane to notice it. She focused back on the white wall in front of her almost immediately. She needed to focus on a neutral spot. "What if I've made the biggest mistake of my life when getting this IVF? I don't know the slightest thing about parenting, I don't have what we could call role models. I don't have a base, a steady one. I could fail... Except in my downfall, I'd drag down with me a child who never asked for anything."

The darkness of her comment caused Maura to bow her head. She didn't understand what was going on. She had woken up feeling happy and light. Memories of Christmas were still warming up her heart and everything was going fine. Just fine.

Then it had collapsed like a house of cards the moment she had stepping into the nursery-to-be.

Jane's lips brushed her shoulder. Maura felt them in spite of the layers of clothes that she was wearing. The touch burnt. Lovingly. Maura liked furtive kisses.

"It's normal to have plenty of doubts, Maura. Especially now as it looks more and more concrete but... You're gonna rock. And you're not alone. I'm here. The fact you're worried you may do harm to Little M proves you have what it takes to be the good mother you think you can't be. It's instinctive. You have it."

"We need to buy furniture. What if I give birth prematurely? Look at this room." Maura showed the empty nursery. "There's nothing in there. We're not ready at all. We don't even have basics... We don't have clothes. Yet how are we supposed to buy clothes for someone we've never seen? We don't know what she looks like. Nobody does, actually."

Jane bit the inside of her cheek in order to not burst out laughing. There was something very sweet in Maura's panic. She worried for details that had very little importance in the end. Jane knew it, and that was the reason why she felt relaxed in spite of Maura's current state of mind.

"She doesn't even have a name."

"See!" Maura missed the sarcasm in Jane's remark. She turned around to look at her partner this time. "I'm so done looking for a name. I... I swear I've read this baby names book over and over – I've even made research online – and yet... I'm unable to come up with a name. It's a nightmare. Just pick one, Jane. Come on."

Jane laughed lightly. She had hoped for a quieter day off. As a matter of fact, she had planned on taking Maura to Boston Common for a walk and a waffle. Obviously Maura wasn't ready to go out. She had other things in mind right now and the biggest one was how to reach a top level of stress for absolutely no reason.

"How come someone who loves fantasizing so much about weddings and such doesn't have a baby name in head?"

Maura walked to the window in order to look down at the street. The sidewalks were white as it was snowing anew. They matched the trees, the sky. Boston had turned into an all-white world.

"Because we're not in a fantasy anymore. This is reality, Jane. And reality has very little to do with a ridiculous child's dream." Two children walked down the street. Maura observed them until they disappeared from her sight. They were probably going to the park. "Is there a name you like? You're going to be her mother as well, after all. I don't see why this is a decision I should take all by myself."

"Well..." Jane felt quite relieved to finally be able to allude to something that Maura had avoided at all cost until now. They were making a step into the right direction. She shrugged. "I have one, actually."

Maura had to admit that Jane's honest answer surprised her a lot. Thus she turned around and leaned against the wall to look at her partner. A tiny smile of hope played on her lips. Perhaps it was Jane who had the key to something that drove Maura insane.

"Which one?"

Jane shrugged anew. She looked aside and began to twist her hands. Her nervousness was showing even if the only person in the room was the one she loved the most in her life. The one she trusted the most as well.

"I ahem... Well... I don't know." Jane shook her head. It was a bad idea, she could feel it. Chances were that Maura was either going to mock her or not like it. Both scenarios were disastrous. "Never mind, forget it."

"What?! No. Come on..." Maura could have walked to Jane in order to squeeze her hand tightly but she felt like keeping the relative distance they now had between the two of them was wiser. A little voice in her head told her that it was what Jane wanted. "It can't be that bad. Please, tell me."

Jane cleared her voice. She made an aimless step towards the superhero cape but then she froze immediately. She was standing in the middle of the empty room, on her own. All of a sudden, she had the feeling to be back at school presenting some science project to classmates who couldn't care less. The reminiscence wasn't sweet at all.

"Camille." Jane swallowed hard. She wasn't sure Maura had heard her rather inaudible whisper. "I kinda like Camille. Not... Not Camilla but Camille."

"The French name. Yes..." Maura gave Jane a nod in order to comfort her. "I got it." She paused, a tad perplexed. "I'm surprised it's not an Italian name."

Jane rolled her eyes but her laughter let Maura understand that she didn't take the remark badly. On the contrary. The timidity that had wrapped her up still had to go but at least now she dared to look up at her partner properly.

Confessing the name she liked wasn't easy because it was something very personal and – for some reason – it made Jane feel vulnerable. She hated it. She hated it when her shield seemed to suddenly disappear and she was left with nothing but her soul to show.

"I'm fine with my roots, Maura, but I'm not obsessed with them. Besides, I don't even have an Italian name myself."

Fair point.

"Why Camille? It's... Unusual. Where does that come from?"

 _Camille Rizzoli-Isles. Camille Isles-Rizzoli._ Maura had to admit that she liked it, and that it seemed to fit. It sounded sweet and the fact it was a French name would probably please her mother as well.

"I used to have a book as a child that told the story of a butterfly. And the butterfly was named Camille. I don't know... I just liked it and I still do. I like the way it sounds. But you don't have to choose it, you know. It was just an idea. Just an old stuff like that."

Maura finally closed the distance that separated her from Jane. She cupped her partner's face to force her to look into her eyes. The moment Jane did, Maura smiled and brought their intertwined fingers to her stomach.

"Bubble gives me butterflies whenever I look at you. Maybe it's her way of telling me that she's named Camille. It's not ridiculous, Jane. I like it."

Jane blushed.

"Maybe."


	26. Chapter 26

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages, I'm really glad to see you're all still invested in this rather long story.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Six**

Maura took advantage of a shift in the conversation to excuse herself and leave the room. She quietly walked down the corridor that led to her office, hearing nothing but the stifled sound of her steps and the brouhaha of the party in the background.

The party that was held in her honor. A baby shower of some sort.

She had left the door open ajar. The morgue was quiet at this hour of the night and everyone had gathered in the other room for the celebrations. As she walked towards her desk, a singular serenity invaded her. She suddenly had the feeling to have been left alone on Earth except it didn't scare her the slightest bit. On the contrary. It felt right, and pleasant.

A tad strange, maybe.

She ran her fingers along the desk - her fingertips brushing the wood with a fragile delicacy – and she bit her lower lip as a wave of bittersweetness rushed through her veins.

"Will you use my office when I'm gone?" Her voice sounded loud and clear in spite of the whirl of emotions that she was currently feeling. She turned around in order to look at Kent who was standing in the door frame. "Will you?"

Her employee shook his head. He was walking up the corridor – heading back to the party – when he had noticed that someone had turned the lights on in Maura's office. Thus he had stopped to check who had entered the room.

"This is your office, Dr. Isles. And it will always be yours."

Maura smiled. She wouldn't go to work the day after. She would start her maternity leave instead and Kent would replace her at the morgue for a few months. It felt right and she was ready for it but she couldn't help feeling a tad emotional before all these temporary changes.

She nonetheless appreciated Kent's answer to her question. Of course, he had the right to use the chief medical examiner office during her absence since it was the role that he would fulfill but her selfish side was glad to know that he wouldn't.

She simply wouldn't admit it out loud.

This place was like a second home to Maura. The furniture were hers. She had bought them in order to bring a piece of herself to a rather neutral and cold room. She loved this office, and every single detail that she had added in it over the years.

Like the photograph of women practicing an autopsy that she had found in London just before getting her nomination in Boston. She would miss looking at it on a daily basis.

"Should I take my bonsai with me?"

She walked to the aforesaid tree before leaning over it in order to carefully observe its leaves. Jane had offered it to her a couple of years earlier, for her birthday. Maura took great care of it. She liked it a lot and the bonsai was doing great in the office.

"It's up to you, of course. Though I can take care of Yu Wang."

The remark caused Maura to frown. Perplexed and extremely amused, she turned around to look at Kent. He hadn't moved an inch. As if he didn't dare to walk in. He simply stood half-way between the door and the corridor.

Respectfully.

"You've named my bonsai Yu Wang?!"

She found the idea to be oddly sweet but she mostly had to admit that it fit. Kent was strange but nice and caring. She shouldn't be surprised to hear that he had named her bonsai because it matched the person he was. As a matter of fact, Maura thought that Kent looked a lot like her. Only with a different background.

Kent blushed. Maura's question obviously embarrassed him a bit even if Maura hadn't judged him. He bowed his head then he shrugged apologetically. Shamefully.

"I made research on the matter and there's actually this trad-..."

Maura interrupted him. She had noticed how her employee had misinterpreted her question. Thus she wanted to reassure him right away. She hadn't taken it badly.

"I know. My grandfather was very fond of the Asian culture. He had a lot of bonsais himself and he used to name each one of them. You doing the same is a sweet reminiscence of something I had almost forgotten. A part of my chidhood."

Her answer seemed to reassure Kent a bit.

"Just because you won't be working anymore doesn't mean that you can't stop by from time to time, you know."

The smile that had been playing on Maura's lips froze. Kent's remark was fair, she simply hadn't seen it come. He was a good observer, just as she was. It was the reason why they were both good at their job. Maura was certain of that.

"I know."

Kent had read through her mind. Perhaps it hadn't turned out to be a very difficult task but at least he had dared to say out loud what others were thinking in her back and Maura appreciated it a lot. She liked his honesty in spite of a latent awkwardness that seemed to embrace it.

"I know the best is waiting for you and I know that you must have other priorities at the moment but... You will be greatly missed, Dr. Isles. The morgue isn't the same when you aren't around."

...

Maura wrinkled her nose. She bit her lips in an effort of concentration then she focused anew on the page she was currently looking at. She checked another page for a furtive second – just to make sure that she had taken the right decision – then she showed it to Jane who was sitting on the couch next to her casually looking at the catalogue too.

"I think I like this one better. The wood is of great quality but its lighter shade is more peaceful, more earthy. What do you think? The other one is really dark. Too dark, maybe. Too... Classic. I don't know."

Jane obliged. She looked at the two models Maura was showing her before giving her partner a nod of approval.

"I like them both but you might be right. This crib will look better in the room, it will contrast a bit less with the white walls."

Jane's answer satisfied Maura. She had spent the day looking at baby furniture online. For a first day of a maternity leave, she had been rather busy. She simply found all these activities to be rather dull compared to forensics. She accepted the shift in her life though because she knew that it was now time to focus on Camille's upcoming arrival.

She was eight-month pregnant: she had to make of her future motherhood a priority.

Besides, she didn't have anything else to do now that she wasn't working anymore. She didn't have any autopsy to practice nor any investigation to work on. Nothing, absolutely nothing.

"Perfect. I will order it tomorrow. Do you think that they can set it up?"

Maura almost regretted her question as soon as she saw the guilt on Jane's face. Jane had wanted them to set up the nursery furniture together but she had just landed an important case that took most of her time whereas Maura was just not in shape anymore to assemble Ikea furniture all by herself. They had missed out the opportunity and it weighed a lot on Jane's heart. She really felt guilty.

"Yes, there must be an option. Isn't it written somewhere on the catalogue?" Jane grabbed said publication. She began to leaf through it feverishly. At least Maura was still okay with them buying Ikea furniture and not some expensive designer crib for their daughter. Jane didn't see the point in spending an obscene amount of money for something that would barely be used for a couple of years. Ikea would do the trick. "Here. Look..."

Maura went to sit closer to Jane but the sudden movement caused Sushi to meow in disapproval. Kent had brought the kitten earlier in the morning before going to work. Thus Maura had spent the whole day at home with the cat and she had to admit that the extra-presence in the house had helped her go through these long hours more easily.

Except now Sushi didn't want to leave her alone. The kitten had settled on top of her stomach and she kept on purring peacefully from there. Maura wondered if Sushi could feel the baby's presence and if it was the reason why the cat did not want to leave.

Jane laughed lightly at the cat's reaction.

"How did it go with the menagerie?" She cast a glance at Jo Friday. Her dog was sleeping by the fireplace and she didn't seem to be much bothered by the feline's presence in the house. "They didn't fight, right?"

Maura shook her head. She and Jane had feared the worst, if only because Sushi and Jo didn't know each other. But the day had turned out to be peaceful. Sushi had walked closer to Jo a couple of times but very carefully. The kitten was very quiet, and very sweet. Even Bass was doing just fine. He had eaten his leaves and had minded his own business as if nothing had changed.

"It went just fine." Maura picked up the catalogue anew as Jane stood up. "A very peaceful day, actually."

Too peaceful.

Jane nodded. She leaned over to plant a light kiss on Maura's lips before walking towards the stairs.

She had just come back home from work. It had been a strange day at the BPD. She had missed Maura, there. The morgue without her partner wasn't the same at all but Jane preferred to not say it out loud for she knew that staying home was just as hard for Maura. Maura was a workaholic. Her place was in an autopsy room, not in a living-room staring blankly at a wall and wondering what kind of crib a baby may need.

"I'm going to have a shower. I'll be right back."

Jane had just reached the first floor when the door bell rang. Maura frowned. She checked the time on her cell phone. It was almost 8pm and they weren't expecting anyone. As a matter of fact, she even hoped to spend the evening helping Jane on her case. She missed investigations. Talking about one of them may help her overcome her dull day.

She stood up and walked towards the door with Sushi in her arms as the kitten had refused to remain on her own on the couch.

"... Surprise!"

Maura barely had time to open the door before freezing. She blinked. Hope was standing in front of her – all smiles – and she was carrying a dozen of bags.


	27. Chapter 27

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews, messages and suggestions (I promise I'll try to think about the suggestions and see if I can work on them in this story or in another story).**

 **Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Maura picked up a coconut cookie rather timidly before giving Hope a discreet smile. The tea room that she had chosen for breakfast was small and unfortunately very quiet this morning. Maura would have preferred the anonymity of a busy place because – as much as the surprise over Hope's visit had vanished during the night – Maura still felt rather uncomfortable facing her biological mother right now. She had simply chosen this little cafe because it was close to her place and she did not see herself going far from Beacon Hill with all this snow. Being eight-month pregnant really reduced Maura's capacities to move around the city.

Hope had decided to stay in Boston until Camille was born. Then she would go back to Malawi. She didn't want to miss this moment and she wanted to be here for Maura. One way or another. It was more or less the conversation both women had had the evening before just after Hope had showed up at Maura's unexpectedly.

It was nice. Very nice even. Maura was touched but she felt confused as well.

The sudden change of plans had caused Maura to sleep rather badly. She didn't understand why seeing Hope was hard for her. It didn't make sense. Her biological mother was thrilled at the prospect of having a grandchild and the truth was that she and Maura got along. Thus Maura should have felt happy, and not as intimidated as she now was. Uncomfortable too.

At least Hope seemed to be just as uncertain as happened to be. The balance in their respective attitudes was somewhat comforting.

"It suits you a lot." Hope motioned Maura's stomach as her cheeks turned pink. She crossed her hands then she leaned her chin on top of them to look into Maura's eyes playfully. "The pregnancy, I mean. You're gorgeous. You're glowing. Is everything going alright? From a medical point of view?"

Maura set the untouched coconut cookie down in her plate. The compliment honestly touched her for she hadn't expected it at all. Besides, very little people dared to make any remark regarding her pregnancy. Maura simply assumed that it was because of the importance of her job position. It imposed respect and a certain distance rather naturally. Unless they saw her as a fat whale and they didn't dare to say it.

"Thank you. It's becoming quite hard to handle, especially the contractions. I've had them since the fourth month. I'm... It's exhausting."

"Oh, really? You used to be so quiet when I was expecting you...! As a matter of fact, your quietness even scared me a couple of times."

Maura thought about Dr. Whitman but only furtively. At least she was now able to tell her ob/gyn that her contractions had nothing to do with her genes. Yet Maura didn't focus on this precise piece of information. It ceased to be important rather quickly.

She stuck to the rest of Hope's remark instead. It was the first time that Maura heard Hope talk about these nine months they both had shared. As a matter of fact, it was the first time that someone told Maura about it at all. The pregnancy had remained rather taboo until now. Maura understood why. The circumstances had been rather peculiar. Thus she was glad to hear about it now even if it felt awkward.

"Oh. Then I apologize. I didn't mean to scare you."

Hope burst out laughing loudly. Maura's apologies were sweet and funny but completely vain. It wasn't Maura's fault if she had been so quiet in-utero. It was nobody's fault. Unless she had simply sensed that the outside world didn't want of her - or at least not her biological family - and that was the reason why she had been so quiet. Unborn babies could feel all this. Studies had proved it.

"I didn't know that you wanted a child."

The waitress brought them their respective teas. Maura thanked the employee but she waited for her to be far enough to answer Hope properly. The conversation was personal. She didn't want any third party to overhear it. Besides, she wanted to win some time in order to find the most appropriate words for her answer.

"I had been thinking about it for a while." Maura poured herself a cup of tea. She glanced at the cookie but it would have to wait. She owed Hope a proper answer first. As much as she was hungry, she had manners. "I was going to turn forty... It made sense. A bit _now or never_ , you know. The first time turned out to be the right one. It worked out right away."

Hope nodded. She echoed Maura's gesture with her own tea kettle and she poured herself a large cup of tea with a lot of quietness.

She had brought presents for Camille the evening before. Books, clothes. A teddy bear. Classic little things that she had got in Boston after her plane had landed.

She hadn't brought anything back from Malawi for she wasn't there for touristic reasons at all and a bit shopping there was very inappropriate.

She didn't know by then if the baby shower had already happened - or if Maura wanted to have one at all - but she didn't want to show up unannounced and without anything. It was quite impolite. Maura and Jane had appreciated the gesture.

"And this is how you got your IVF."

"Well... The father never showed up so I adapted to the situation. Jane showed up though but obviously we need a little help from science to build a family together."

A peaceful smile reached Maura's eyes as she talked about Jane. Of course, Hope must have guessed by now that she and Jane lived together – that they were partners – but it was nonetheless the first time Maura made it clear to her biological mother. The moment had its importance. As a matter of fact, the discretion Hope showed amused Maura a lot because it deeply contrasted with her adoptive mother's carefree behavior. Both women had very little in common in the end.

It was night and day.

"I'm sure the two of you are going to be excellent mothers." Hope's voice broke slightly but she hid her latent fragility behind her cup of tea. "You're doing great around children."

Maura swallowed hard. She understood Hope's inner reaction. Her adoption had been tough and Hope probably regretted it. Hope knew that she had missed many things and that she would never be able to catch back on them. It was too late and it would always be.

"Jane is a lot more comfortable around children than I am. Or at least she has more experience than I do. But... Yes, I hope that we'll do just fine. Why wouldn't we? If other parents succeed at it then there's no reason for us to fail."

Maura laughed but her laugh fell flat. Perhaps she had just let one of her insecurities show up a tad too much in her remark.

She couldn't help it though. She was at this stage of her pregnancy when she doubted about absolutely everything. Dr. Whitman had tried to reassure her. The ob/gyn had told her that it was normal. Yet Maura still felt lost in this labyrinth of whats-if and disastrous scenarios. Perhaps it was simply her temper that was showing.

"How did she take the news? She looks thrilled."

Maura rolled her eyes. Hope's question was fair but she couldn't be further from the truth. Or at least from Jane's initial reaction.

"She took it pretty badly at first, actually. I ahem... I went through the IVF process alone. I didn't tell anyone. Jane... She didn't like it. She felt betrayed by my silence. Thankfully it barely lasted a couple of days. Then I had her support and I still have it now. And more than that... She's been... She's been fantastic. And very wise, very mature. She keeps on showing me how responsible she is."

"That's fantastic."

Maura was about to nod rather enthusiastically when her cell phone vibrated in her purse. She picked it up – frowned as she checked the number – then took the call.

"Maura Isles?"

Everything stopped.

As a matter of fact, Maura was convinced that even her heart stopped beating the moment her interlocutor began to speak. The rest of the world became blurry. It turned into a neutral background that disappeared in the distance. Only Hope's face remained. Her forced smile, then the concern that showed on her face as she noticed how pale Maura had become.

"What's going on?" The icy silence that welcomed Hope's question caused Hope to lean over and squeeze Maura's hand tightly. She had politely waited for the phone call to be over to speak anew. Unfortunately, Maura seemed to be sitting there at the table in shock. "Maura? Maura, are you okay?"

Maura heard Hope call her name but the voice was stifled, as if it came from a distance. From too far. She blankly looked up at her biological mother before being thrown back at light speed into life.

The world began to turn anew. But way too fast.

"It's... It's Jane. She's at the hospital. She's been rushed there."

As much as Maura had come back to her senses, her brain began to play tricks on her and she forgot a few things like how she had left the tea room. However, she remembered perfectly sitting in her car. Hope was driving. She could describe the buildings that were speeding past the window and this oppressive feeling to feel dizzy. She needed life to slow down.

She wanted it to make sense again.

Her references were gone. Within a second, within a phone call. What she had taken for granted had collapsed and she was left with nothing but contractions and a heart that beat a tad too fast. And shaking hands. And a dry mouth.

Her feet led her towards the elevators of the hospital. People were talking around her but she couldn't hear them. She barely felt Hope's hand on her forearm because she felt numbed. Almost dead. Her hunger was gone as well even if she hadn't eaten anything yet.

"We're looking for Jane Rizzoli. She was admitted here forty minutes ago."

Jane. Her partner's name caused Maura to turn her head around. She stared at Hope in disbelief. Hope who – in spite of her very own panic – was in perfect control of the situation. She was the one asking questions to the medical staff, the one who led Maura from a room to another.

Maura had turned into a rag doll. She didn't know what to do anymore and her brain had shut down.

Someone made her sit down on one of these uncomfortable chairs. She did. Except she was in an empty room. With an empty bed. Why had she been taken there if Jane wasn't around? It really didn't make sense.

And then she heard someone talk on her left. Probably a nurse.

"Jane Rizzoli's getting emergency surgery."


	28. Chapter 28

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages, it's really nice of you to post a little something here and now.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Jane needed long seconds to understand that she wasn't lying down in her bed. Her dizziness slowed down her thoughts but she could say that the room she was in was quite small too. It smelled of disinfectant. She wasn't in Beacon Hill, the comfort of the house she knew had very little to do with the impersonal side of the place she was at now.

"Don't move."

Maura's voice rose somewhere on her left. She had spoken softly but her tone of voice clearly betrayed a cold and latent anger. The detail only caused Jane's confusion to grow even more.

She didn't know where she was nor what was going on. She wanted to speak but her mouth was dry and she felt immensely tired. Unable to move. As a matter of fact, something hurt on her right side. Somehow.

She went to touch it with her left hand but Maura spoke anew using the same icy tone.

"Don't move."

Maura held back the desire to roll her eyes, and to sigh loudly. She stood up and leaned over Jane to make sure that her partner would be able to see her. Jane looked sleepy, and confused. Not in pain though. She was still under the effects of the pain killers of her IV.

The first words that brushed Maura's lips owned a beautiful sweetness. She simply wanted to tell Jane that everything would be alright, that her injury was minor. That she – Maura – was here to take care of her. But the moment Maura opened her mouth to speak, her anger swept away her intentions to be supportive and caring.

The opposite happened.

"How could you do this to me?"

Of course, Jane didn't understand.

Maura watched how her partner blinked, how she lacked the proper elements to understand the reproach. It didn't bring Maura any kind of satisfaction. As a matter of fact, it only gave even more fuel to her frustration. She clenched her fists before shaking her head at Jane. She didn't have a choice: she had to let Jane know what was going on. She had to tell Jane about the accident.

"You fell down from the roof of a two-floor building."

The fact Jane had sustained a broken wrist, very bruised ribs and a sort of minor brain hemorrhage only was a miracle in itself but it certainly didn't calm down Maura. She was mad at her partner.

Jane had taken an unnecessary risk and she was now paying for it. As a matter of fact, everyone in her entourage was paying for it as well. People had got very worried and Maura still had to overcome the fear she had felt in the first place. She wasn't about to forget about the phone call, the shock that she had felt afterwards. Her numb state when she had made it to the hospital. Thankfully Hope had been there all the time or else she would still be sitting at the tea room, in shock.

"Oh, I must have missed the ladder step." Jane frowned. The few seconds prior to her accident were coming back by waves. Blurry flasbacks that didn't make a lot of sense. "I was chasing someone."

"You could have died. Did this even cross your mind? You could have died." _And you would have left me and Camille alone. Alone and distressed. Empty. Abandoned._ "You tried to jump from a roof to another but you fell down instead."

Jane tried to sit up in bed but Maura's firm grip on her shoulder reduced her efforts to vain nothings. She didn't have a lot of energy left anyway. It must have been the aenesthesia, the meds. She really felt dizzy right now and she had a latent headache as well.

The stifled steps in the background. The smell of bleach. The beeps of machines. Jane had put the pieces together and she had understood that she was currently lying in a hospital bed. Had she gone to surgery yet? What kind of injuries had she sustained?

"What can I say? I've always wondered if I could fly."

Jane's laugh echoed Maura's icy silence and it came to die in a bottomless discomfort. Jane's dark eyes looked for Maura's hazel ones. Desperately. She immediately regretted her joke. Obviously the situation was a lot more serious than what she thought.

"How can you even joke about it?" The cold anger that inhabited Maura suddenly burst in the air with an unexpected violence. She hadn't yelled but she had talked very loudly nonetheless. "I can't believe you're so selfish, Jane."

Maura grabbed her bag before Jane had a chance to react. She stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her. Hope and Angela were waiting a couple of feet away in the hallway.

They were both aware of the accident just as they knew that Jane was fine and that her surgery had turned out to be a success. Everyone felt relieved now. Of course, they had been scared but the medical staff had been reassuring. Jane was okay. Her brain hemmorhage had stopped and everything was under control. She wouldn't have any sequel. Everyone felt happy.

Everyone but Maura.

"I'm going back home." Maura barely stopped to whisper the sentence to Hope and Angela. She was way too furious to actually talk to anyone. Besides, she wanted to be alone. She needed it. The comfort and the quietness of her house had never looked so appealing to her right now. "She's awake."

...

Maura drove back to Beacon Hill in silence. She wasn't in a state of shock anymore but her anger caused her to feel very impatient. She wanted to yell but not a single sound would come out. She wanted to sigh of relief as well but it all stayed trapped deep down her throat.

It was frustrating.

She slammed the door of the house as soon as she made it back home and she dropped her bag on the couch. Jo Friday, Sushi and Bass stared at her with great perplexity. Obviously her attitude was taking them aback for she usually was a lot quieter and nicer. She walked till the fridge and took a bottle of water out of it before heading upstairs.

She needed to have a bath, something relaxing. Her contractions had stopped as soon as Jane's surgeon had told her that everything was going fine and that she had been able to check Jane's file but the events had nonetheless worn her out.

Something stopped her on her way to the master bedroom and to its ensuite bathroom. Her instinct, perhaps. A little voice in her head. Something. Whatever it happened to be, she walked into the nursery instead of going to the bathroom.

She went to sit down on the floor, by one of the windows.

The room was still empty. Or so. Only Hope's presents and Jane's super hero cape were somehow bringing life to the place. Maura had booked the Ikea furniture on the website of the store earlier in the morning but for the moment, the nursery looked cold and bare. She hated it.

The tears came out without any warning. Like a wave that would have taken years to reach the shore. Maura gasped as she felt the intensity of her sobs invade her. She didn't try to hold back anything. On the contrary. She let her frustration and her fears express themselves because it was exactly what she needed.

She had been scared. Of course, she knew that she had been unfair and icy with Jane earlier in the hospital room when Jane had woken up but it was only because she had feared the worst. She had thought that she had lost her partner.

And Jane didn't seem to understand any of this which only managed to make her frustration grow even stronger.

Jane was fine. A broken wrist was a mere nothing. But as much as Maura found comfort in science – in medical facts – a part of her had the feeling that the accident had just opened the door to something a lot more important. Something that she hadn't thought about until now.

Jane's job was risky. Very risky. There was nothing new about it but Maura had suddenly realized what it currently meant. She and Jane were about to have a child. Jane may have not asked for it in the first place, she was now thrilled to be part of the adventure nonetheless. She was invested in it. A lot. To the point she had filled adoption papers for Camille.

Yet what had happened today was a clear reminder that everything could stop within a second.

And Maura didn't want any of this.

Her life had to be strong, almost untouchable now. It couldn't look like a house of cards that the wind could blow so easily. She had accepted Jane's singular job until now because it felt right but her pregnancy changed the rules of the game and her vision of it. She couldn't live in perpetual fear to lose Jane. Nobody deserved to go through this kind of stress.

She grabbed the teddy bear that Hope had bought for Camille. It looked like an old one, close to the teddy bears Maura had had as a child. She observed it through the curtain of tears that made her sight blurry.

The innocence of the toy was touching.

Her cell phone rang downstairs but she didn't move an inch. She still didn't want to talk to anyone. Besides, her sobs made it hard for her to say the slightest thing.

"It's not the kind of world I wanted to give you, Camille. It's not the kind of world I want you to know and to live in. I'm so sorry."

Maura caressed her stomach lovingly. With shaking hands. She meant what she had just murmured but the words caused her an even greater pain. She felt torn and confused. Completely empty as well. And among this mess of feelings, the only thing she knew for sure was that she deeply missed Jane.

"Will you ever forgive me?" Maura bit her lower lip as a wave of doubts passed underneath her skin. It was the first time that she actually linked her child to the outside world. A world she knew as dark and unfriendly. "It's worth being lived though. I promise you it is."

During eight months, Maura had seen her child's world as a pure and perfect universe. Her brain had naturally built a protective gap between Camille and the world. Except today her mistake had hit Maura like a ton of bricks. She should have never lost herself into such beautiful fantasies for they were nothing but a terrible utopia.

The world was harsh, and violent. Cold. Of course life was also made of unforgettable moments but thinking that the sky was always blue and that the sun kept on shining through was wrong.

It didn't work this way.

"I love you... My little Bubble. I love you very much." Maura swallowed hard. Her despair was such that she didn't care if she may have looked a tad ridiculous right now. The words had to come out one way or another. "And I'll always be here for you, in the darkest times. I'll never abandon you."


	29. Chapter 29

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for your reviews and messages. I really appreciate them all.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Nine**

"Do you need anything else? A glass of water, perhaps. Are you thirsty? Do you want an extra pillow? Of course you. I'll go find one for you."

Jane briefly looked at Maura before rolling her eyes. She shook her head then she motioned the cast she had on her right arm. It was quite big for a broken wrist.

"It's just a broken wrist, Maura. It's nothing at all. I can get up and help myself with a glass of water or anything for that matter. Besides, you're the one who should be sitting down. C'mon. You must be tired. Don't you want to take a nap?"

"I'm pregnant, Jane. Just pregnant. I'm not sick. You're the one who suffered from a brain hemorrhage and from multiple injuries. How are your cephaleas?"

Jane held back a remark regarding Maura's phrasing. Her partner was a medical doctor after all and she often referred to the scientific term. A headache didn't belong to her vocabulary for it was way too vague and untrue.

Jane sat up in bed. She cast a glance at her bedside table and observed the impressive amount of meds - multicolored pills - that she was supposed to take every day.

"Gone. I'm fine. Please, come sit next to me, Maura."

It wasn't an order but a plea. A delicate and fragile plea. Maura looked into Jane's eyes for long seconds but she couldn't bring herself to move. She was standing next to her partner, glad and relieved to have her back home after a week spent at the hospital. Yet she still felt worried. Very worried.

"Okay..." Before the lack of answer, Jane ran her tongue over her lips and tried to focus on an invisible point in order to not break into tears. She was emotionally drained. Of course, she had noticed Maura's anger. She couldn't ignore it any longer. It weighed on her heart way too much. "You want me to go back to Back Bay, don't you? It's over."

"What?!"

For the first time since Jane had woken up from surgery, Maura's voice showed warmth and an ounce of humanity. She closed the distance that separated her from the bed and she sat down on its edge. Just next to Jane. There was no real distance anymore. As a matter of fact, she couldn't care less about it. What Jane had just said caused her to worry a lot more.

"Why would you go back to Back Bay? You live here, Jane. With me, and with... With Bubble. I may be upset but I still love you, you know. I'm in love with you. I don't want you to leave."

Jane had had a lot of time to think about the accident and about the way Maura had stormed out the hospital room the day she – Jane – had woken up from surgery. Maura had come to visit her every single day but they hadn't talked much. As a matter of fact, Maura had locked herself in a world of silence. A very angry one. It showed on her traits that looked deep and dark. Her lips were constantly pursed.

"I didn't do it on purpose, Maura. I didn't want to scare you. I don't... I don't want to cause you nor Little M. any trouble. It's not my intention. I swear it's not..."

"I know but it still happened." Maura swallowed hard. The situation was very clear in her head now. "And it may happen again."

It had taken Maura a week but at least the words had finally come out. Perhaps all she had needed was to find back the intimacy of their house. The hospital was too impersonal for such kind of talk. Jane needed to know about her fears.

"Are you asking me to quit my job...?"

Jane understood Maura's latent fears because her own mother had been feeling the same ones since Jane had made it to the Academy. There was nothing new about them. The only difference was that it came from Maura this time. Jane felt a bit awkward.

"No! Of course not. I know that you love your job, just as I know that you're made for it. But it's hard for me to..." Maura looked down at her stomach. Camille was probably sleeping because she was very quiet right now. "I... I don't want you to die."

The sobs Maura had tried to hold back rose loudly in the room. They echoed the tears that began to well up in her eyes. She turned her head to make sure that Jane wouldn't see her even if she knew how vain the gesture was. It was clear enough that she was crying, because she was scared to death of something that nobody controlled at all.

"But... Maura..." Jane properly sat up this time. She turned on her side and slid her left arm around Maura's waist. She leaned her chin on top of her partner's shoulder. Maura was turning her back at her but she didn't care. She was holding her and the rest didn't matter. "I'm not gonna die. I'll be a lot more careful now. It was just an accident. I slipped and fell. It could have happened here or anywhere. We can't just stop living for fearing an accident. You know that, don't you?"

Maura nodded. Jane's remark was very true yet it didn't change anything to the fact that she was really scared of losing her partner. She didn't want it to happen. She didn't have what it took to handle such terrible scenario. She didn't even want to think about it.

"I'll be okay. We'll do just fine." Jane's lips brushed the crook of Maura's neck. She didn't know what to say nor how to comfort Maura. She had always been bad at reassuring people and it drove her mad right now. "I love you. I'm sorry. I love you."

...

Dr. Whitman's perplexity vanished as a surge of surprise showed on her face. The smile that had disappeared from her lips came back slowly and she gave Maura a nod of approval.

"You handled it like a boss. The shock could have induced labor." The ob/gyn passed a soothing hand on Maura's stomach. "Your daughter is enjoying her stay in there. It seems like that she doesn't want to leave yet."

Dr. Whitman's remark took Maura aback. She hadn't seen Jane's accident the way her medical doctor did. Of course Maura had let the ob/gyn know about the last events because she had felt the urge to talk about it with a third party that wasn't family but at no moment had it crossed her mind that she may have actually showed mental strength. As a matter of fact, Maura had the feeling that the exact opposite had happened. She had collapsed the moment she had got the phone call.

"Maybe it has more to do with Camille than it has to do with me."

"Camille?" Dr. Whitman glanced at Maura before focusing back on the ECG. "Is it the name you and Jane have chosen?"

Maura nodded timidly. Jane had stayed home today because she hadn't slept well. Of course Maura had had to force her to not come with her to the hospital for the appointment. She needed to have a rest.

Hope had come with her instead but she hadn't walked into Dr. Whitman's office. She was waiting outside, at a cafe.

"Camille is a lovely name. A lovely name for a lovely and very healthy baby who has two wonderful moms as well. One of them may be a tad reckless but I'm sure Jane will know how to show protectiveness when needed. Am I right?"

"Oh... It's a lot more than just protectiveness."

The remark made Dr. Whitman laugh lightly. She finally stood up anew before helping Maura to sit up on the medical table. Everything was going fine in spite of the scare Maura had had over Jane's accident.

The baby was okay – in the right position – and Maura's blood pressure was normal. There was nothing to worry about. Her ECG was good as well.

"It's a rollercoaster of a maternity leave that you're having!"

For someone who had been afraid of getting bored, Maura had to admit that Dr. Whitman was right. She had only spent one quiet day at home since she had said goodbye to the morgue for a while. And now Jane would be here as well, if only for a couple of weeks. Then she would go back to the BPD but would stick to paperwork for a while because of her wrist injury. At least Maura didn't have to worry about Jane's potential risky job for a while.

"My biological mother is here." Maura walked back to the seat where she had set down her purse. She didn't know why she had brought up the subject. Without any warning. "Actually she drove me here."

Dr. Whitman froze. Obviously this wasn't something that she had expected to happen even if Maura had told her that contractions didn't run in the family, that she had asked about them. She stared at her patient in disbelief, uncertain of what she was supposed to say. The situation was a delicate one to handle, after all.

Thus Maura felt the urge to reassure her immediately.

"We get along. We really do, don't be worried. I just wasn't expecting her visit because she's supposed to be abroad for two years but... She decided to come back to Boston and stay here until I give birth. She wants to be here for it."

Maura had tried to sound casual but a part of her knew that she had slightly failed. She couldn't lie anyway. Her feelings always ended up showing one way or another. She wasn't good at pretending to be right when she wasn't. Dr. Whitman noticed it immediately.

The medical doctor went to sit down at her desk. She set the ECG form down on her desk before looking into Maura's eyes with a gentle seriousness.

"Are you happy she's here? How do you live it?"

The question caused a weight on Maura's shoulders to disappear. She honestly liked Hope and the bond that they shared was singular but she felt extremely confused about her own adoption right now. She was glad to see that someone had noticed it and had sensed it. Nobody else had made any remark about it until now and Maura felt too guilty to even allude to it by herself.

"I don't know."

Maura's answer was terrible but honest. She really appreciated the interest Hope showed in her pregnancy but Maura had a hard time not thinking about the moment Hope had abandoned her. It wasn't just a detail in someone's life. Even less when this someone was expecting a child.


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages, I really appreciate it; the battery of my laptop died so I need to buy a new one - hopefully that won't have any impact on the daily updates of the story (I can plug it in).**

 **Chapter Thirty**

As soon as Maura walked into the room, she felt a heavy weight vanish from her shoulders. It didn't even take one second. She suddenly began to feel a lot better at the sight of the furniture and the pile of clothes that she and Jane had bought.

Everything was finally making sense. She had gone from an abstract fantasy to a concrete world that she loved more than anything. The nursery laid there, in front of her eyes. Ready to be used.

The Ikea employees had just left. They had set up every single piece of furniture before moving them the way she and Jane wanted. Jane's broken wrist had been a source of frustration for she felt sorry to not be able to help but she had remained with the team until the end nonetheless.

"Do you like it?" Maura's eyes went from the baby crib to Jane's dark eyes. She gave her partner a bright, soothing smile. "Do you like the way the nursery looks like?"

Jane did. Of course, she did. She and Maura had chosen the furniture. Together. Thus she knew that it was exactly what they wanted for Camille. Her emotion was simply too strong for her to actually express it out loud right now. She needed some time to embrace the warmth of happiness that was currently rushing through her veins.

It was the same happiness as the one Maura felt. Jane could see it on her partner's face, in her hazel eyes that glimmered of delight. The moment was touching and quite symbolical as well.

Maura came closer to Jane. She planted a kiss on top of her shoulder before sliding an arm around her waist. She enjoyed even more the serenity of their life as a couple now that they had talked about Jane's accident. Everything was clear and they had managed to move forward very effectively within a few days. Having Jane at home had turned out to be an odd blessing.

"Thank you for everything."

Maura's voice hit the air with a lot of quietness and a lot of delicacy. It floated above Jane's head before passing underneath her skin in order to reach her heart.

Maura often thanked her, lately. For being here, for being who she was. For embracing a life she hadn't asked for in the first place even if – deep inside – Jane had to admit that it was what she had always wanted.

"I wonder what she looks like. Do you ever think about it?" Jane cast a glance at Maura. She then moved to the white shelves where she and Maura had set down a few children books. "I wonder if she has your eyes, if she will have your smile..." Jane shrugged. "You know. Things like that."

The remarks caused Maura to smile timidly.

She went to sit down on the armchair that they had set by one of the large windows. The nursery was quiet but not as impersonal as Maura had seen it once. Of course, everything would look much better the moment she and Jane would bring Camille back from the hospital but Maura was nonetheless satisfied of what had been realized these past few days. Even her maternity bag was ready.

"I hope that she will look like you. I want her to have your temper, your courage." Maura bowed her head as something darker hit her. "I hope she will love me. Is it possible for a child to not love her mother?"

Jane's heart skipped a beat.

Maura often asked such questions that didn't even have a reason to be except they highlighted something that bothered Jane a lot. Maura had a lot of doubts. Jane found it to be concerning. She had even called Dr. Whitman to tell her about it. The medical doctor had tried to reassure Jane though. She had told her how difficult it could be for an adopted woman to become a mother. Maura was simply in the middle of a personal stage that she needed to overcome on her terms. At her own pace. All by herself.

"No, I don't think it's possible, Maura. Of course, Camille is going to love you. As a matter of fact, she already loves you. The two of you have been building a bond for the last eight months and a half that can't be built in any other way. You'll be an excellent mother, Maura."

Maura nodded but she wasn't convinced. What Jane had just told her was exactly what everyone around her kept on telling her though.

Perhaps she simply needed to hold Camille in her arms to actually feel this self-confidence that was still way too foreign to her for the moment. Seeing the nursery ready had just had a very positive impact on her. Perhaps it was the same with her motherhood ambitions.

"Hope didn't abandon you. You know it. She was told you were... You know."

Maura nodded anew. Of course she knew that her biological mother hadn't abandoned her but she still felt sour about it. And mad at her biological father too. Somehow. It wasn't fair. What she had gone through wasn't fair and it really was a tough thing to handle now.

"You've done a lot for us, Jane." If she hadn't been eight-month-and-a-half pregnant then Maura would have stood up in order to walk till her partner. But she remained on the armchair instead, tired and sore. But sincere nonetheless. "I don't deserve it. Camille does – of course – but I don't."

"Oh, please." Jane closed the distance that separated her from Maura. She knelt down in front of her partner and planted a loud kiss on Maura's stomach. "Why all these doubts, Maura?"

The palm of Jane's hand brushed Maura's stomach. The baby kicked, rather loudly. As a matter of fact, sometimes they even could see the shape of a foot or the one of a tiny hand appear at the surface of the skin. It was oddly fascinating.

The unexpected move caused both to laugh lightly. Jane sat down on the floor in front of Maura in order to be in a more casual position. She caressed her partner's large stomach and closed her eyes as bitterness wrapped her up quickly.

"I wish I could live this... Just once. I wish I knew what it feels like."

Maura barely hid her surprise. It was the first time that Jane openly talked about her own desires of pregnancy. She had remained very private on the matter after her miscarriage. She had overcome it but at no moment had she told anyone that she wanted to live it anew. Not until now.

"It's not too late, you know. If it's what you really want... Maybe we should give a try."

Someone slammed the door downstairs. The sudden intrusion put an abrupt end to a conversation that Maura didn't want to forget completely. She and Jane weren't done about it.

Soon Angela and Hope's voices sounded loudly in the distance. Both women got along quite well and the pregnancy had strengthened their bond. Maura found it to be sweet. She simply wondered how things would go once her own mother made it to Boston by the end of the week.

...

Whenever Jane wanted to ask something to Hope, she found herself holding back the words because she was certain that it was inappropriate. She wanted to know what Maura looked like as a newborn, whether she was short and tiny. Or if she cried a lot.

Sadly she knew that these were details Hope could hardly talk about so she always ended up remaining silent instead. The situation over Maura's own birth was really delicate to handle.

"Do you think Maura will like it? Do _you_ like it? This baby girl is yours too, after all. Your opinion matters just as much as Maura's."

Jane looked at the tiny cardigan that Hope was holding between her hands. It was gray and made of cashmere. Jane found it very pretty. Classic but pretty. Camille would need winter clothes since she was supposed to get born in February.

Jane was even glad and relieved to see that Hope wasn't into pink clothes only because it was her worst nightmare and she knew that they would get a ton of gender-oriented things at some point. Thus gray was perfect.

"It's very beautiful but you really don't have to, you know. Camille already has more clothes than I do."

"Camille?"

Jane froze as soon as she realized that she had made a mistake. Little M.'s name was supposed to be a surprise for everyone until the birth. She and Maura had taken the decision as soon as they had picked up the name.

She had just betrayed her partner. By accident.

Panic must have showed on her face because Hope burst out laughing in the middle of the boutique. She rested a comforting hand on Jane's forearm before shaking her head amusingly.

"I'll keep it for myself, don't be worried. Camille is a lovely name. I like it a lot. It's an excellent choice."

Jane had accepted to spend the afternoon with Hope and – after a quick lunch at a small restaurant – they both had headed towards a brand new baby clothing boutique that had just opened in the area. Jane didn't like shopping but she had to admit that it wasn't the same when it came to choosing clothes for Camille. T

here was something very sweet in the idea that she liked a lot.

"It's really cool what you're doing for Maura. You know... Staying here until she gives birth. She may not say it to you but she appreciates it. A lot. So... Thank you."

Hope hadn't seen it come. Thus she felt a bit taken aback and vulnerable, hiding a timid smile with a lot of difficulty. She shrugged, not really knowing what to say back. She could tell that Jane had changed. She had grown up and had become a lot more mature. Wiser as well. Only a pregnancy could cause such changes in someone's temper.

"I wasn't sure Maura wanted to see me, to be honest. She didn't tell me about the baby until... Far in her pregnancy. I guess I understand. I do, actually. It makes sense. I just... I don't know. It feels right to be here."

Jane knew that Hope didn't consider Maura as her daughter. Just as she knew that Maura didn't consider Hope as her mother. They were both somewhere in between and they desperately tried to adapt to their peculiar status. It wasn't always easy but at least they tried. Jane found it to be comforting.

"She's lucky to have you though." Hope winked. "To be completely honest with you, I thought the two of you were together the first time I met Maura. Your bond was so strong... I'm glad you've found each other. She needs you."

"Just as I need her." The confession made Jane feel a bit uncomfortable. She looked all around for an escape, for something to focus on. In vain. "So... Do we take this?" She showed the cardigan to Hope. "I really like it."

Hope nodded.

"Sure! The baby that shall not be named will look very cute in it."


	31. Chapter 31

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the messages, reviews and suggestions; the story isn't over yet but I can nonetheless tell you that there will be a sequel.**

 **Chapter Thirty-One**

Maura laughed lightly as she felt Jane's light kiss brush the crook her neck. The gesture was sweet but absolutely not innocent. She knew it.

A mischievous smile curled up her lips. She closed her eyes then she eagerly waited for Jane's hand to pass underneath the tank top she was wearing with her typical boldness. She liked their mornings. She found them sweet, and beautiful.

It was when they both had time to share a real moment of complicity while being completely relaxed and rested. And alone.

"How about your wrist?"

"The right one is broken. I'm left-handed." Jane's hand went up Maura's stomach in order to caress her partner's breasts softly. The touch caused Maura to get tense. Jane frowned. "What's going on?"

Maura didn't move. She stayed on her side with Jane cuddled in her back and her hand up her chest. She shrugged a bit timidly before giving her partner a proper answer.

"They're sensitive. I'm sorry." All her body was sensitive. As a matter of fact, she felt sore all day long and she had a hard time falling asleep at night. Her pregnancy was getting hard to handle. It was physically tough. "They hurt a bit."

Jane immediately took her hand off. She hadn't been brutal at all but she didn't want to do something that would cause Maura more pain than pleasure. Her fingertips travelled down her partner's body instead and she slid a confident hand in Maura's hipsters.

"Are you sure it's a good idea?"

It wasn't that Maura wasn't in the mood – she always was – but she simply wasn't too sure because of Jane's wrist and because of her near-incapacity to move properly. If she rolled on her back without any warning, chances were that she would crush Jane's wrist by accident. And it was the last thing Maura wanted to happen.

"It's time to put in practice your Lamaze classes."

The confident boldness Jane showed this morning turned Maura on. Yet she couldn't help it and she burst out laughing at the remark.

"I'm afraid the breathing that may happen within a few minutes now is very different." Maura shook her head. She and Jane had attended a few Lamaze classes but Jane had seen them as a waste of time. She was convinced Maura would do just fine thanks to the meditation and yoga she practiced on a weekly basis anyway. "We can hardly compare both."

Jane pulled softly on Maura's shoulders to make her roll on her back. Maura obliged. Gently. Jane leaned up on her elbows and looked into her partner's eyes.

"Wanna bet?"

"It's going to be quite challenging." But it was worth the effort nonetheless. Maura captured her partner's lips in a deep kiss but just as she was about to roll on her side anew in order to face Jane in bed, the door bell rang. She broke the kiss – a tad breathless – and pursed her lips. "Dammit."

She exceptionnally had a busy schedule today. Or at least in the afternoon. She had to attend the trial of a case she had worked on a year earlier. A part of her just wanted to stay home in her pj's but her ambition pushed her to be excited at the prospect of fulfilling her role as the chief medical examiner again. She missed her job. A lot. Perhaps she would even stop by the morgue afterwards to say hello.

She slowly got up and reluctantly walked out of the bedroom. Jane could have run downstairs to open the door but since she wasn't wearing proper clothes, Maura preferred to welcome all by herself whoever had stopped by this morning.

"Oh."

Maura blinked as she opened the door and came to face her adoptive mother. She couldn't help thinking about Hope's very own entrance a few weeks earlier and how there must have been something about mothers showing up unannounced at their daughter's lately.

"Good morning, Maura. How's my granddaughter doing?"

Of course, Maura opened the door to her mother yet it took her long seconds to answer the basic question. Her mother was supposed to make it to Boston on Saturday. And today was Thursday. Obviously Constance Isles had changed her plans at the last minute and she hadn't told Maura about it.

"Ahem... She's doing fine. Weren't you supposed to arrive this weekend?"

Constance politely gave Jane a nod as she walked into the living-room and she saw Maura's partner in the kitchen. Jane had put on some more clothes and she was now preparing breakfast. Maura closed the door just as Angela came in from the patio.

She cast a glance at Jane: they could say goodbye to their chances to compare Maura's breathing during Lamaze classes to when they were in bed, now.

...

"I wonder how tiny she is... And if she will see me as her mother. I'm not carrying her so I don't have this natural bond she and Maura have built. It's not easy. I don't want to be the third wheel."

At least Jane was being honest with Constance. She wasn't sure why but it seemed fair. Letting the words come out was even quite relieving.

Maura's mother had simply asked her about her feelings while they had stepped into the nursery and Jane had wanted to be sincere. Besides, chances were that Constance would understand what she felt.

Jane had wanted Constance to see the nursery, to realize that she and Maura were ready to welcome Camille. Angela was waiting downstairs with the first models of baby clothes that she had knitted.

"This is a feeling I know quite well." A mysterious smile played on Constance's lips. She could say how much Jane had hesitated before opening up to her, because it matched what she – Constance – had gone through with Maura as a baby. As a newborn, even. "You won't share the same bond but you will still build one that is just as strong. Don't be worried... I'm sure you'll take care of her a lot better than I did myself with my own daughter."

The morning had gone rather smoothly. Jane and Maura had shared their breakfast with their respective mothers and the four women had talked about life rather freely. It had been nice and casual. Jane had really enjoyed it.

Hope was supposed to stop by in the evening.

Hopefully she and Constance would get along. Hopefully it wouldn't be too awkward between both women in spite of the peculiar past they happened to share. Jane could say that Maura felt a bit stressed about it.

"I love her. I really do. And I consider her as my daughter. I just... I don't know." Jane grabbed a pair of baby pj's and she proceeded to fold the pair anew rather nervously. "I need to find my place in all this."

Maura needed to find her place as well, but just at a different level. She needed to turn the page over her own past and understand that what she had lived wasn't what would happen to Camille. Camille would have a family, with a biological mother. Nobody would abandon her. Nobody would fake her death for gloomy reasons.

"Dr. Isles?"

Maura stood up. The trial was long and she felt bit bored. Besides, she had a hard time sitting on a wooden bench for so long. Her lower back hurt a lot. At least it was now her turn to testify. Then it everything went just as planned, she would be out of the courthouse within the next thirty minutes.

Jane had said that she would prepare dinner but Maura didn't know if it was a good idea. Hope would be there, as well as Constance. The context was delicate. Maura felt the urge to control it from A to Z. She trusted Jane but a little voice kept on telling that she - Maura - had to be in charge.

She was about to identify herself to the judge – just as required – when a gasp in the crowd in her back made her freeze. People were usually rather quiet during a trial. Such reaction was unexpected, and very surprising.

The seriousness of trials tended to force a certain respect. Gasping while the chief medical examiner of the state was about to testify was not something that happened very often. It was actually rude.

And then she felt it.

The liquid was warm, and a bit sticky. It had run down her legs to form a puddle on the marble floor of the courthouse. Her heart skipped a beat. She looked down to check the damage before swallowing hard. The silence that followed the general gasp was even louder.

The audience was sitting in her back. Thus she couldn't see people's reaction. Yet she had no issue whatsoever to picture out the look of disgust, panic or confusion on their faces.

She rested a shaking hand on her stomach and held back a moan of despair. She was wearing a beautiful dress – a pale gray one – that emphasized her curves. Sadly it now also emphasized the stain all along her legs.

"Do you... Do you need to go to the bathroom, madam?"

Maura looked up anew. A young lawyer was standing next to her though he didn't seem to really know what to do and even less what was going on. Maura clenched her teeth. She certainly didn't appreciate the fact someone had dared to call her 'madam' in front of a whole crowd but she had other priorities right now.

"What?! I didn't urinate. I just... My water broke." She had understood it right away but saying the words out loud hit her quite violently. Her heart began to race and she succumbed to a pure panic this time. "My water broke!"

Her shriek sounded loudly in the room. It echoed against the walls and against the marble floor. Yet nobody seemed to react. Maura couldn't blame them. Everyone - her included - was in shock.

She had had contractions for the last hour or so but she had simply assumed that they were more or less the same ones as the ones she had always had. Besides, she was due in two weeks now. Contractions were more than logical. They were healthy, actually. Maura hadn't realized that it meant she was going into labor.

In the middle of a trial.

"Oh." The young lawer made a step backwards. "Then..."

Maura was about to snap back at him because of his slightly insulting behavior when she felt a pain similar to a stabbing in her lower back. She bent over immediately.

"Ouch!"

She brought her hands to her stomach in order to calm down the contraction. The gesture was vain but instinctive. She cast a glance at the judge. The situation wasn't humiliating anymore but urgent. Still in shock, the judge finally stood up and rushed to her side before yelling at the crowd.

"May someone call an ambulance? We need an ambulance."

A loud brouhaha rose in the courthouse.


	32. Chapter 32

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages - I'm glad to see you're looking forward to the sequel as well (it seems fair to write one).**

 **The Birth**

 **Chapter Thirty-Two**

"Dumbass!"

Jane froze. She frowned. She was certain that the exclamation had come from Maura as much as it didn't sound like her partner at all. There was no doubt: it was Maura's voice. However, such kind of words didn't belong to her vocabulary and the sour anger that had risen from said word even less.

Confusion and a latent panic caused Jane to cast a glance at the hallway. A few nurses were chatting a few feet away but the floor was nonetheless very quiet. Thus Maura's outburst really seemed out of character unless she had turned in one of these furies like the ones we see in romantic comedies. Hollywood always showed women in labor as hysterical ones. It couldn't be the truth though. Could it be? Jane swallowed hard.

Since she couldn't stay in the hallway forever, she took a deep breath and resumed her walking until she reached the door to Maura's room. She raised her fist and waited for a couple of seconds.

The door was open ajar and a ray of light pierced through it. It was now or never. Jane politely knocked on the door before poking her head inside. She forced a smile on her lips. She knew that she had to sound cheerful.

"I'm here?" Jane was aware of the confusing tone she had used but the truth was that she was a tad anxious to come in and face Maura. What she had just heard had sounded like a terrible version of her partner and she wasn't sure that she had what it took to handle it. "How are you feeling?"

A clear relief showed on Maura's face as Jane poked her head inside the hospital room. Jane's absence had turned into an extra-source of stress since her water had broken at the courthouse rather unexpectedly. Beyond the pain caused by the contractions had laid a terrible feeling of loneliness that had accompanied Maura during the ride to the hospital.

But her nightmare was now over: Jane was here.

Maura opened her mouth to speak but not a single word came out. A sob sounded loudly in the room instead. Thus she opened her arms to Jane rather cowardly. She disliked hugging people but the situation was such that she needed to feel Jane against her own body. She had honestly been scared of having to go through her labor alone. It was a very stupid idea since Jane was in town but Maura had managed to convince herself that her partner wouldn't make it on time to the hospital nonetheless. For a zillion different reasons.

"I'm not fine."

Jane walked in. She didn't bother closing the door behind her. She dropped the three bags she was carrying on the floor and rushed in Maura's arms. The courthouse had called her as soon as Maura's ambulance had arrived. Jane hadn't lost time: she had immediately left the house with Constance and Angela. Hope was on her way as well.

The fact an ambulance had been called had scared her at first since it was only used in case of emergencies but the judge had reassured her over the phone. Maura was doing just fine. They didn't want to drop the chief medical examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts to the hospital with a taxi.

The ambulance ride was a little privilege and Maura had appreciated it.

Jane kissed her partner's cheek. They may have had different plans for the day, they were now ready to face this last-minute change. Together.

"Oh... Maura! Why do you say that?" Jane looked into her partner's terrified and puffy red eyes. "And who's a dumbass?!"

Maura tried to sit up in bed but the position turned out to be way too uncomfortable for her. She lay down anew instead and glanced at the monitoring machine that had been set next to her bed.

Everything was fine. She was into labor but Camille wasn't about to make it to the world yet. Her heart rate was good though. The situation was under control. It would simply take several hours.

"The idiot of a lawyer who sent me these flowers." Maura motioned a bouquet that had been set down on a table by the large window that overlooked the city. "He was at the trial. He thought I had urinated at first... But... I hadn't! My water broke. That's all. Then he called me 'madam'... Ugh." Maura pursed her lips. She clenched her fists as a new wave of anger rushed through her veins. "Can you believe it, Jane? This kid called me 'madam'...!"

Jane bit the inside of her cheek in order to not burst out laughing. She had to admit that Maura's bruised ego was quite a funny thing to witness. Not really eager to argue with her partner nonetheless, she walked to the aforesaid bouquet to look at it carefully.

"It's a nice attention from him though."

She simply hoped the young man wasn't trying to be flirty with Maura or else Jane would call him a lot more than just a dumbass.

Maura was about to say something back when someone knocked on the door. It was Constance, followed by Angela. They had just talked to the medical staff in charge of Maura and they couldn't look happier right now. A first labor usually took quite some time. Apparently, Maura was no exception to the rule. Her water had broken and she had contractions but she wasn't much dilated yet. Thus Constance and Angela knew that it meant they still had a lot of free time ahead of them.

"My baby..."

Maura raised an eyebrow with great perplexity. It was the first time that her adoptive mother used such a surname. As a matter of fact, it was even the first time that Constance Isles simply showed such tenderness towards her daughter.

It was immensely surprising. And a tad strange.

"What are all these bags for?"

Angela pointed the three bags that Jane had dropped on the floor. The ambulance staff had also brought in the bags that Maura had kept in her own car. There were six bags in the room now. Six packs someone still had to unpack.

"It's Maura's maternity bag... Bags." Jane walked back to them. She opened the closet and proceeded to unpack them. She shrugged apologetically at her mother before whispering a semblance of explanation that hopefully Maura wouldn't overhear. "She doesn't know about light packing."

"She took with her more clothes than you own, Janie."

Jane gave her mother a nod. For once she had to admit that her mother wasn't exaggerating but she couldn't make any remark to Maura. She was in labor. As her partner, Jane was supposed to support her. It was her role for the next hours that had chances to be quite intense.

That was the reason why Jane did also her best to ignore how fast her heart was beating, how shaking her hands were. She felt excited but extremely scared at the same time. Something big was about to happen and it had a huge impact on her right now.

"Do you feel like walking?" Constance sat on the edge of the bed. She had grabbed Maura's hand and was now squeezing it gently. "The nurse told us that it may help you."

Maura wrinkled her nose. She then shook her head and folded her legs anew as she settled back on her side.

"No, it feels... It feels funny when I do."

"That's because the baby is pressing down on you..." Angela winked at Maura. She just felt like reassuring her a bit. She was the only one in the room who had given birth to children after all. Jane and Constance hadn't. "Constance, would you like to go have a cup of coffee with me? We're here for a while, anyway."

Angela cast a glance at Jane. She had noticed how Jane and Maura felt the urge to be alone for a while and – if she didn't always respect boundaries – Angela knew how such situation required some of them. She couldn't be intrusive now. The moment was important, and delicate. It was something a couple had to live together, without a dozen of people around.

"Oh, sure." Constance planted a quiet kiss on top of her daughter's forehead. "We'll be right back. Just... You know." She made a vague gesture of the hand, over Maura's body. "Just relax. Do... Whatever you're supposed to do."

Jane waited for their respective mothers to leave before going to sit down on the edge of Maura's bed. She leaned over and captured her partner's lips in a long, comforting kiss.

They hadn't even had time to kiss yet since she had arrived. Everything had happened too suddenly. Too unexpectedly.

"Would you like some music? And a back rub?"

Maura flashed Jane a bright smile. Jane was the only one who knew what helped her go through her contractions and she would really need her help because said contractions had nothing to do with what she had felt until now. These ones were intense, and very painful.

"Yo-Yo Ma would be great, thank you."

Jane made sure to turn her back at Maura first before rolling her eyes. She wasn't sure that she would survive to eight hours of Yo-Yo Ma. She quietly walked towards the iPod station that she had brought and she plugged Maura's iPod in.

She scrolled through the playlists and hesitated for a while. She knew that Maura was waiting, and that she was now looking at her in her back.

"The nurse said you didn't want an epidural..." Jane cast a brief glance at her partner before focusing back on the iPod. "I know it's something you've planned for a while and we've discussed it already... But are you sure you'll make it through without it? Don't be hard on yourself, Maura. If you're really in pain... It's okay to get one, you know. It may even help you."

"I know. I just want to try." Maura sighed heavily. The beeps of the machines were going on her nerves but their sound was also very comforting. As a medical doctor, a glance at them was enough for her to know that everything was alright. "I will change my mind if it becomes too hard to handle."

Jane nodded.

"Great."

She approached a shaking finger from the iPod and pressed play before closing her eyes and waiting for her imminent death.

Aware of what she had just done, she remained still and waited for Maura's reaction in her back. It didn't take long at all. As soon as the first notes filled the room, Maura growled.

"I said Yo-Yo Ma, Jane! Not Guns N' Roses!"

"Okay, okay..."

Jane shifted to another playlist right away. At least she would have tried.

Besides, she knew that Camille loved Guns N' Roses because the baby always moved and kicked when Jane listened to the band at home. Yo-Yo Ma would cause Camille to fall asleep. Jane was sure of it. It wouldn't help at all.


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the messages and reviews; I will write the sequel just after I finish this one (or so; I'll be on vacation for a couple of weeks starting Sept. 20th so I prefer to wait to be back here to start it).**

 **Chapter Thirty-Three**

"It might be a long night, Maura. Try to have a rest, okay? I want you to keep your energy for show time." Dr. Whitman winked at Maura before flashing a bright smile at Jane. "How are you doing, Jane?"

The question took Jane aback. It was the first time since she had made it to the hospital that someone asked her about her own feelings. Of course, everyone had focused on Maura so far which Jane found to be fair. It was Maura who was in labor. Not her.

"Ahem..." Jane ran a hand through her hair. She cast a glance at Maura who didn't look very enthusiastic at the prospect of being stuck in bed – or at least in this hospital – for the next hours before looking at the ob/gyn anew. "I feel... Err a bit disarmed."

Jane's honesty caught Maura's attention immediately. She felt bad, almost guilty. Everything was going fine – Camille's heart rate was perfect – but the contractions were very intense and the dilation of Maura's cervix was slow. The moment wasn't as joyful as they had hoped it to be yet Maura had completely missed how low Jane felt.

"Oh, Jane..." Maura bit the inside of her cheek to hold back a moan of pain as she sat up in bed in order to look at her partner. "You've been great until now. I appreciate it. What are you talking about?"

The brief interaction between Jane and Maura caused Dr. Whitman to smile softly.

"It's normal to feel this way, Jane. However – and just as Maura has said – you're doing an awesome job. Just be here for her. A presence in this room is worth any pain killer."

Maura snorted. Her stubborness was such that she still didn't want to get an epidural but – as much as she loved Jane – she had to admit that her partner's presence by her side had very little to do with pain killers. Unfortunately. However, Jane still had to complain about Yo-Yo Ma playing in the background and Maura was very thankful for her partner's quite unusual patience. She knew that Jane preferred another genre of music.

"She really can't eat anything?"

 _Because I'm starving._ Jane gave Maura a smile. It was almost 10pm now and she still had to eat something. She simply didn't want to leave Maura. She wanted to stay in the room until the end, no matter what. Besides, Maura hadn't eaten anything either. It was just moral support.

"Are you hungry?" Dr. Whitman turned to Maura. The ob/gyn seemed to hesitate quite a lot. "A full meal isn't a good idea but perhaps a snack or something like that..."

Maura shrugged. She was tired and too much in pain to eat the slightest thing. However she had read studies that had clearly showed that women in labor should have been given a snack if they wanted to, that making sure they didn't eat anything until they give birth wasn't necessary. Thus she perfectly understood her medical doctor's current hesitation on the matter.

Maura sighed.

"Go get something for you at the cafeteria, Jane. I'm fine... We're fine." Maura rested a hand on top of her stomach. "Besides there are three women on the other side of the door who are simply waiting for this exam to be over before coming back inside. I'm not alone."

Maura had a point. A fair one. Constance and Angela hadn't left the hospital and Hope had arrived a couple of hours ago. The awkwardness Maura had feared over the situation hadn't happened yet. Perhaps it was because of the singularity of the moment. Hope and Constance had been very polite with each other. Even chatty.

"I don't know..." Jane looked at Maura before focusing on Dr. Whitman. "We really have time, you're sure about that?"

"Unfortunately for Maura... We do. I know she's been admitted eight hours ago already but your daughter shouldn't make it to this world before at least three or four more hours... Unless we induce the labor. It all depends on Maura and the way she feels. She's handling it very well until now."

Jane pondered the remark. She completely missed the look of despair on Maura's face that followed Dr. Whitman's words about the amount of time that was left.

"When are you starting the bath thing? I want to be here for it." As a matter of fact, Jane wanted to be here for everything. Maura was in labor. This wasn't the kind of thing that happened every day. "And... The baby's not gonna drown, right?"

"Oh boy." Maura rolled her eyes. "I'm not dilated enough for anyone to leave my body yet, Jane. The bath is just going to help me handle the pain... For a while. Please go get something to eat. Really. It's okay."

...

With her arms on top of the edge of the plastic and uncomfortable bath tub, Maura squinted her eyes at Jane very angrily. She pursed her lips before shaking her head. A growl nonetheless escaped from her throat.

"When I told you it was okay to go grab something to eat, I didn't mean a slice of pizza."

The smell was going to Maura's head bewitchingly. It was actually the sweetest torture that she had ever had to face in her life. The remark caused Angela to giggle but it's Constance who snapped back first.

"You're about to have a child, Maura. Pizza is too greasy for you. Stick to a healthy diet. Didn't we teach you anything? Since when are you so much into junk food?"

Now that she had sunk into warm waters, Maura could say to the whole world how the description of women in labor was a myth. There was nothing beautiful about it. It was long, boring and terribly painful. As a matter of fact, she had reached such a point of annoyance that she couldn't care less if everyone who entered the room now saw her entirely naked in a stupid plastic bath tub. The size of her stomach covered what had to be covered anyway.

She had lost any respect for her very own self. She was beyond exhausted, in pain and very hungry. She wasn't in a good mood anymore. All she wanted was to hold Camille in her arms and get to the next stage.

"A slice of pizza from time to time won't kill me." Maura looked at Jane anew, with a lot of envy this time. "Even if I breastfeed."

"Are you going to breastfeed?"

Hope had remained rather quiet until now. Maura assumed that her biological mother simply had to find her place in the room, and in this new scheme of life that was about to play out. She appreciated her presence though. As a matter of fact, it meant a lot to Maura. Her fears over it were gone. Perhaps it was only caused by her fatigue but she was really happy to see that Hope had made it to the hospital and that she had decided to stay so late in the night.

"I am going to try... At least. If it works out then I think I would like to do it if only for a while. I would like to go back to work in April or in May. It may be more complicated once I'm working again."

It was almost 1am now. The contractions had got a lot closer and it had taken Jane almost three hours to dare to venture out of Maura's room to get something to eat.

She had virtually run to the nearest food place to buy a snack before rushing back to her partner's side. She deserved that slice of pizza.

"Does anyone want a coffee?" Angela stood up. "Will you come with me, Janie? Don't be worried, it's just at the end of the corridor. You won't miss the baby's birth."

Jane reluctantly followed her mother outside. Obviously her mother wanted to talk to her and the coffee was just a poor excuse for it.

Her hand brushed Maura's damp shoulder before she left though. In a supportive way. Jane didn't feel at ease showing more display of affection in front of Constance and Hope. Besides, she wasn't sure that Maura wanted to be kissed. She looked pissed at everything right now.

"You're doing great, Jane."

Angela barely waited for them to be in the corridor to speak. As much as Jane appreciated the compliment, she had a hard time believing it. She shrugged before sinking her hands in the pockets of her jeans.

"I'm not enjoying it much, you know." She cast a glance at the door to Maura's bedroom as they stopped by the coffee machine. "She's in pain and I can't do anything about it. It's not cool."

"But at least you're here. With her. Believe me... That's the only thing she needs. Maura's very strong for having gone so far without an epidural yet. She handles her contractions like a boss."

Jane nodded. She agreed with what her mother had just said about Maura. It was too late for an epidural now. Maura had worked well for the last two hours and – with a little bit of luck – she should give birth sooner than expected.

"Will I stop feeling so helpless, ma'? Will all this come to an end once our daughter is born?"

Jane blushed. It was the first time she referred to Camille as her and Maura's daughter in front of her mother. The moment was important, and very symbolic.

The quietness of the floor had given strength to Jane, enough strength to confide in her mother and to let her know how she really felt. It was unexpected and very unusual but Angela showed a lot of respect and a lot of seriousness as well.

"You're not helpless... But yes. Once this child whose name you refuse to tell me is born, then you'll have more things in your hands than you've ever imagined it possible." Angela began to walk back towards the room, her cup of coffee in hand. "You should enjoy your last minutes of quietness, actually... 'Cause it won't last, Janie."

They made it to the room just at the same time as the midwife who was here to check on Maura again. At this point of the labor, Maura had a checkup every fifteen minutes or so.

The three of them entered the room but Constance and Hope immediately left to give Jane and Maura some more intimacy during the exam. Angela followed them back in the corridor.

"I'm sorry but we have to take you out of this bath, Maura." The midwife helped Maura to stand up. Jane came to the rescue right away. "Are you cold?"

"No... It's hot in there."

Maura walked with difficulty to the bed. Entirely naked. She really couldn't care less anymore about it. She just wanted to get to the next stage as soon as possible. She was even eager to start pushing just to make things go faster. Though she knew that it wasn't how it worked. Unfortunately.

She lay on her back and spread her legs. The baby was really pressing on her lower body. It was extremely unpleasant.

And then it happened.

"Oh!" The midwife squealed in delight. "It seems like someone is finally ready to show up. Congratulations, Maura: you're fully dilated. We're going to start any minute now."

Maura swallowed hard.

"Really...?"

She glanced at Jane as furtively as she could but even a micro-second resulted enough for Jane to understand immediately what this look meant: Maura was now on the verge of panicking.


	34. Chapter 34

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for your reviews and for your patience (!). Don't be worried, today is the day...**

 **Chapter Thirty-Four**

Constance turned out to be the last one to leave the room. She planted a delicate kiss on Maura's forehead before closing the door behind her. Maura swallowed hard: she felt abandoned, left on the road to her own mysterious fate. The one that made her heart beat fast, too fast.

She wasn't ready for it. What if something went wrong? People used to say that there was nothing more natural but what if Maura didn't manage to do it? What if she failed at it? She knew that it was a bit late to think about all this but she could not help it.

She was about to give birth to a child and she was terrified of it. In spite of being a medical doctor herself – in spite of having witnessed several deliveries – she felt disarmed and helpless before what was going to happen to her. Being a patient had very little to do with being a scientist. The role she had to fulfill wasn't the same at all. The vulnerability she was now experiencing never really hit the medical doctor she could be when she had to deal with a third party. Yet she knew that she couldn't allow herself to panic.

"It's time to meet your daughter."

Dr. Whitman had decided to stay in the room, not for medical reasons but because she was on a night shift and that she had followed Maura's pregnancy since her first trimester. She would let the midwife do her job. She was simply here for moral support.

Maura barely noticed the warm smile on Dr. Whitman's face. She didn't see how it reached her eyes nor how delighted she seemed to be. Maura simply swallowed hard before looking at her surrounding suspiciously.

"Are you... Are you sure?"

Jane snorted.

"You're not an elephant, Maura. You can't keep her inside forever."

"What are you talking about, Jane?" Maura pursed her lips. Her partner had chosen the worst moment of their life to start bickering. "The gestation of an elephant isn't timeless: it lasts between eighteen and twenty-two months... Depending on the species. Asian or African."

The unexpected question and the short interaction that followed made Dr. Whitman, the midwife and the nurse burst out laughing. Maura couldn't blame their reaction. She was aware of the ridiculousness of her remark. The words had simply passed her lips before her to have a chance to hold them back. Her subconscious had talked in her name.

"Unless you want to become the first woman to raise a child in-utero then... Yes. I'm sure it's time for it, Maura." Dr. Whitman rested a friendly hand on top of Maura's shoulder. The contact turned out to be furtive but nonetheless comforting. "Everything's going to be just fine. Aren't you excited to finally meet your daughter?"

The excitement Maura had felt at the prospect of holding Camille in her arms had got swept away by her strong apprehension over the delivery.

Everything had become way too real, within a few seconds only. It wasn't her fault. She had simply got used to the abstract character of the pregnancy and she didn't like changes.

"Jane?"

The midwife turned around to look at Jane who seemed to be just as unsure as Maura was. Jane nonetheless reacted at the call of her name. She jumped with great surprise – as if the sudden question had taken her out of some daydreams – and she tried to focus on the young woman.

"Yes? You need pj's? Baby's pj's? They are..." Jane ran a hand through her hair. She understood Maura's state of mind because she felt exactly the same. It was only worse with her because she wasn't the one who was about to give birth. Her reaction didn't make sense. "I didn't take them out of the closet. I don't know... Which ones do you want? We have several of them. Is there any specific color? Or a fabric...? I... What do you need?"

"We don't need pj's yet – don't be worried – but what if you actually came closer to your partner? She might need you."

The words passed underneath Jane's skin but she needed time to let them sink in. Once they began to make sense, she realized that she was standing in the corner of the room. Far from Maura's bed. She immediately closed the distance that separated her from her partner and nodded at nobody but herself.

"Sure... Of course. Here, I am."

Jane had watched how her own mother, Hope and Constance had left the room. She had experienced it like some sort of wake-up call, one that had made her life tip over irremediably.

Being alone with Maura during the delivery was part of their plan. As a matter of fact, it was one of the first decisions that she and Maura had taken together. They wanted the birth of their daughter to be as intimate as possible.

Thus, finally seeing it happen was something that had taken Jane aback with a quiet violence.

"Perfect." The midwife cleared her voice before looking at Maura in the eye. She had just positioned herself between Maura's legs and she was ready to start the delivery. "I want you to follow my instructions from now on: if I tell you to push then you do, and if I tell you to not push then you don't even if you feel like pushing. Okay?" Maura gave her a brief and shy nod. "I also recommend you to not scream. Not only are you going to waste your energy and your breathing on it but you're also going to wake up the whole floor. It's 1.20am and – as much as we like babies – the last thing we all want to deal with are crying newborns."

Maura laughed nervously. She hadn't missed the joke but she was way too stressed to properly enjoy it. Her hazel eyes looked for Jane's dark ones. Jane was sitting down on a stool by her side, at head level. She looked rather intimidated and a tad disarmed too. She absolutely didn't know what to do. The midwife felt it.

"Jane, just follow your instinct and Maura's reactions to your gestures. If she wants you to hold her hand then do... If she doesn't want any physical contact then respect it. We're all different when it comes to delivering a baby." The midwife cast a glance at the monitoring machine. "A contraction is coming... Push as soon as you feel it, Maura."

The only desire that inhabited Maura right now was to cross her legs and hope to defy science. Not push. Then she would go backwards and never have this IVF. It had been the craziest decision that she had ever taken in her whole life. A whim, a stupid whim that had led her to this room at almost 1.30 am on a cold and snowy night of February.

But the moment she felt the contraction come up, something happened within her body. A surge of energy invaded her and she instinctively began to push. She couldn't let her fears win the battle against her wisdom. She had to assume her acts, to face her responsibilities.

She was an adult, after all. It was now or never to prove it.

She focused on her breathing and on the midwife's voice. The young woman spoke softly, very quietly. Retrospectively, Maura would think that the voice had been very soothing which was exactly what she had needed.

Dr. Whitman's cheerful words soon echoed Jane's timid attempts to match them. Jane was whispering into Maura's ear, for a reason she couldn't explain. It just felt right.

Maura had grabbed her hand and even if she squeezed it tightly then Jane didn't complain. She fed herself of the heat of her partner's body. They were doing this together, just as it was meant to be. The touch was important for both of them. Paramount even. They found a strength in each other that went beyond everything.

"You're doing an excellent job, Maura." The midwife laughed lightly. She seemed to be very relaxed. It reassured Jane immediately. "Do yo want to see the head, Jane? It's just there."

The question caused Jane to freeze. Such possibility hadn't crossed her mind until now. As a matter of fact, she hadn't really thought about the delivery because it had always been a source of stress. Whenever she had allowed herself to fantasize about it, she had been left with nothing but unanswered whats-if.

"Ahem... No, thanks. I'll stay here." She was eager to see Camille and the suggestion didn't turn her off but she didn't want to let go of Maura's hand. She knew that her partner needed her. "It's okay."

The midwife didn't take it badly at all. She landed her green eyes on Maura who was still very focused on her breathing. Maura remained quiet, just as asked.

"Maura? Would you like to touch it?"

Hesitation showed on Maura's face and she needed several seconds to react. She was almost in a state of meditation. The pain was here but she could barely feel it for her mind had distanced itself from the rest of her body. She experienced the delivery at the fullest but with an impressive serenity.

Her fears were gone. Holding Jane's hand had brought her the courage she needed and she now wanted nothing but to see Camille.

"If it's possible then... Yes." She let the midwife guide her hand between her legs yet the sudden contact caused her to jump slightly. She hadn't expected this. "Oh."

"You have another contraction coming... Do you feel ready for it? You're almost there. Only one more push and you're done."

Maura knew that she was exhausted but her fatigue barely reached her anymore. She was aware of the needs of her body, of something natural and instinctive that she didn't really control in the end. She had been pushing for almost twenty-five minutes. It was long. Thus she gave the midwife a nod and resumed the delivery.

"Excellent... Stop pushing." The midwife cast a quick glance at Maura. She winked at her before focusing back on the delivery. "It's my turn to work now."

Maura rested her head against the pillow anew. She closed her eyes in order to help her breathing to come back to a regular pace. Her heart was beating fast, she could hear it somewhere on the machine her left.

And then the cries rose in the room. Clear and loud.

She opened her eyes anew and gasped the moment she felt something hot against her chest, something hot that was moving. Camille was there. Finally.

"Jane, do you want to cut the cord?"

Jane answered the question with a nod. However she was too shocked to be aware of the gesture itself. She cut it – gave the scissors back to the nurse – and went to sit down again on her stool.

Her eyes had never really left Camille.

"Oh god, Maura..."

 _You made this._ The words stayed trapped in Jane's throat as she noticed the quiet tears that were running down Maura's cheeks. They were matching hers like glimmering – silent – diamonds. Precious moments that were going to remain in their heads, engraved for the rest of their life.

"You're allowed to touch her, you know." Dr. Whitman burst out laughing. "Congratulations, it's a beautiful and healthy little girl."

Jane and Maura looked up at the ob/gyn at the same time. Only a couple of seconds had passed by since the midwife had delivered Camille but neither of them had dared to touch the tiny body that was now clutching to Maura's chest for they had felt too intimidated.

Maura turned out to be the first one to react. She squeezed Jane's hand anew and – with their fingers intertwined – they carefully caressed the soft and pink back of Camille.

"Born on _Whole Lotta Love_... If it's not symbolic then I don't know anymore."

The remark caused Maura to frown. She didn't understand what Dr. Whitman meant. It all became clear when she heard the music in the background. Her iPod. Needless to say that she had never created a playlist with Led Zeppelin on it, even less with Guns N' Roses.

She squinted her eyes then slowly turned her head to look at the culprit.

"Jane!"


	35. Chapter 35

**Author's Note: Thank you for all your reviews and messages; I think there are two chapters left of this story, then we'll move to the sequel.**

 **Chapter Thirty-Five**

Maura sat up in bed. She folded her legs up before settling Camille against them in order to look at her. The baby was sleeping anew. Peacefully. Looking at her erased the pain of the delivery. Maura felt new, and immensely happy.

Jane was in the room as well. A comforting serenity seemed to be floating above their head, which was well-needed after the long hours of labor and the intense delivery. She went to touch the back of Camille's hand but Camille turned out to be a lot faster and she squeezed Jane's finger tightly.

Instinctively, since Camille still had her eyes closed and thus she could not see anything.

It wasn't the first time that Jane interacted with a newborn - she had more cousins than one could imagine - but she was always impressed with the strength babies could show nonetheless. This was something she would never get used to.

Camille was no exception here.

"You made this, Maura." Jane spoke softly. She didn't want to wake up Camille and she knew that her partner needed calmness too. "The lips, the eyes. The arms. You made a human being." The remark may be odd – even ridiculous – but Jane felt the urge to say it out loud because she still had a hard time believing it. She then hesitated for a brief second before speaking anew. "She looks exactly like on the 3D scan... And she's already stolen my heart."

An emotional smile played on Maura's lips. It reached her eyes with a rare intensity. Jane's last remark wasn't a confession in disguise. She hadn't used half-words to pass a message. She had fully assumed her feelings instead and she had talked loudly about them. It was almost unexpected for Jane always found it hard to express the way she may feel.

Her efforts touched Maura a lot.

"She doesn't have a middle name yet though." Maura felt the urge to lean over in order to kiss their daughter on top of her nose but she was afraid that she might wake her up. Thus, she remained still instead - fighting her desires - observing the traits of the person she had carried inside of her for the last nine months. "If you don't mind then I would like her to carry a part of me and part of you. She shares my blood, that's a part of me... What was your grandmother's name? Or your great-grandmother's name even?"

The question made Jane freeze. She was extremely touched by the gesture. Sadly reality may not match Maura's expectations. Jane began to move nervously. She was sitting on the edge of the bed a bit precariously. She cleared her voice but remained quiet. Hesitation showed on her face, and in every single one of her gestures.

Maura laughed lightly. Her partner's obvious discomfort was somehow entertaining. And quite unexpected. She had thought about Camille's middle name on several occasions and she really liked the idea of paying tribute to Jane's own family. It sounded right.

"What's happening? Did I say something wrong?"

Jane shook her head. Of course, it wasn't Maura's fault. As a matter of fact, Maura's suggestion couldn't be more innocent. She simply wasn't prepared for what was coming.

"Pupetta."

Maura blinked. She then squinted her eyes at Jane as confusion invaded her. She wasn't sure that she had heard what Jane had said properly. Jane was whispering after all and Maura was tired.

"I beg your pardon?"

Jane rolled her eyes, not because she would be annoyed but because repeating what she had just said was a rather humiliating torture. Thankfully they were alone in the room: the medical staff had left and their mothers were waiting outside in the corridor with more or less patience.

"My great-grandmother's name was Pupetta."

A mysterious and slightly embarrassing silence followed Jane's confession. She couldn't be mad at Maura because her quiet reaction was only fair. Pupetta was an old Italian name, not so popular anymore if it had ever been popular at all. Jane had been told about the reason behind the name but she had forgotten about it.

Maura didn't laugh though. She didn't look horrified either. She simply observed Camille who was sleeping against her legs and let a whisper slide on her lips.

"Camille Pupetta Rizzoli-Isles..." The adoption papers had been filled but it would take at least two more months for the adoption process to be sealed. Thus Camille wasn't a Rizzoli yet. Or at least not in theory because – in Maura's heart – the baby was just as much hers as she was Jane's. "Pupetta is unusual but not that bad... It sounds a bit like _poupée_. It's the French word for doll. No, I can't say I don't like it..."

Jane gasped in horror. She turned her head in order to stare at Maura in disbelief. Fear had caused her dark eyes to widen. Fear and panic.

"What?! Have you lost your mind?! There's no way we call her Pupetta. She hasn't done anything wrong to deserve that. Damn... No, no and no. I know it's late and that you must be tired but... There won't be any Pupetta, not as long as I'm alive. Why punishing her right from the start like that?"

Maura pouted. She wasn't very surprised of her partner's reaction even if she found it to be slightly exaggerated. She was warming up at the idea of calling Camille Pupetta. Besides, it was just a middle name. A sigh of quiet despair passed her lips.

"Then how about your grandmother? What was her name? Your maternal grandmother. You often told me about her but I forgot her name."

Unless Jane preferred her paternal grandmother but since communication with her father was a bit tense, Maura assumed that Jane didn't want to name her daughter after her father's side of the family.

"Lucinda. Nonna Lucinda."

Jane wasn't too sure about Lucinda either. It wasn't as bad as Pupetta – especially for a middle name – but it was quite old-fashioned nonetheless.

"Oh. Like in _Don Quixote_..."

"Or like in _Into the Woods_." Jane snorted. "Lucinda is one of Cinderella's stepsisters. You know, the nasty ones."

The reference caused Maura to laugh lightly. Her definition of popular culture was quite different from Jane's. She understood Jane's hesitation but she really wanted Camille to be named after someone from Jane's family.

It would just be a middle name, anyway.

"Camille Lucinda Rizzoli-Isles."

The words had just hit the air that Camille opened her eyes anew. Briefly. She looked at Maura before drifting off to sleep again. Perhaps it was only a coincidence but Maura wanted to see it as a sign. Besides, she knew how close Jane used to be to her grandmother as a child. It fit.

A soft knock on the door caused them both to turn their heads around. Jane stood up. She walked to the door and opened it. It was late – almost 3am – yet three women had stayed in the hospital until now just to see their granddaughter. Jane had briefly spoken to them as Maura had been transferred to a new bedroom. She had showed them the dozen of pictures that Dr. Whitman had taken with Jane's cell phone during the delivery. Everything had gone very fast for Jane was still in shock after the emotions of the delivery.

She and Maura could hardly make them wait any longer now. Besides, Maura was tired. The excitement allowed her to stay awake but Jane knew that she needed to have some rest. It was already a privilege for the chief medical examiner to have visits at this hours of the night.

"Can we come in?"

Jane gave her mother a nod and the three grandmothers walked in quietly. Against all expectations, Hope turned out to be the first one to speak. She came closer to Maura in order to look at the baby who was still sleeping against Maura's legs.

"What a beautiful little girl... You must be very proud, Maura. Camille is gorgeous." The smile that had been playing on Hope's lips until now froze as she realized what she had just said. She wasn't supposed to know about the baby's name yet. As a matter of fact, Jane had made it clear earlier on when she had showed them the pictures that the name would be revealed once they met the baby. "I mean... Camille would suit her, no?"

In an echo of what had happened in the delivery room when Maura had realized that Jane had added a rock playlist to her iPod, Maura squinted her eyes at her partner and she pursed her lips angrily. Jane didn't give her time to say anything though. She carefully took Camille in her arms instead before walking towards Angela, Constance and Hope.

"Everyone... Please let me introduce you Camille Lucinda Rizzoli-Isles."

Jane still wasn't sure of the middle name but the look on her mother's face as she said the name out loud may have resulted enough to convince her once and for all. Angela was touched, deeply touched. On the verge of crying even.

"You... You've named her after my mother?" Angela's eyes went from Maura to Jane. She didn't seem to believe it. Emotion showed in her voice, and in her traits that had suddenly softened up. "In spite of the name being the one of one of Cinderella's stepsisters?"

Jane rolled her eyes. She cast a glance at Maura – a glance worth a thousand I-told-you-so – before giving a warm smile to her mother.

"Camille is a Rizzoli-Isles." Maura's tired voice rose quietly in the room. It nonetheless caught everyone's attention immediately. "I want her to be named after someone of your family, someone of _her_ family."

Angela walked to the bed. She leaned over and hugged Maura tightly. Unexpectedly. The gesture went straight to Jane's heart. Perhaps Lucinda wasn't such a bad idea, after all. Camille would always be Little M for her anyway.

"My uncles used to call my mother Lu'... Little Lu', Lulu." Angela shrugged timidly as the reminiscence hit her. "It's the most precious gift you could offer me."

If Angela's hug had taken Maura by surprise, Maura hadn't stopped observing Hope since the moment Hope had walked into the room. Something had happened during the delivery, something that she couldn't name. Something instinctive perhaps. The only sure thing was that Maura suddenly had the feeling to understand her biological mother a lot more than she used to.

"Would you like to hold her into your arms?"

Maura's question had been addressed to Hope. Maura hadn't missed the timid interest and interaction Constance was showing with Camille but – deep inside – Maura knew how symbolical the moment would be for Hope.

Hope hadn't hold Maura in her arms after the birth of her child. Instead, she had been left alone and empty with the idea that her daughter had died. Now that Camille was here, Maura could barely imagine how such situation felt like.

Holding Camille in her arms wouldn't erase the bitterness of a terrible past but it would nonetheless soothe the pain of a thousand quiet wounds.


	36. Chapter 36

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews, messages and question; I will describe Camille's looks in tomorrow's chapter.**

 **Chapter Thirty-Six**

"I will change her diaper once you're done feeding her."

Maura froze. She remained focused on her daughter for long seconds before finally daring to look up at her mother. Of all things Constance Isles could tell Maura, changing diapers was probably the least expected one.

It almost sounded like a joke.

Unless Maura had misheard what her mother had just said. Maura was tired, after all. She had had a very short night. The nurse had offered to take Camille to the nursery so Maura could have a proper rest after her delivery but Maura had turned down the suggestion. She hadn't given birth to a baby just to make sure a third party would take care of her daughter. No. She was determined to assume her role as a mother from A to Z and it started now.

"You... Want to change Camille's diaper?" Maura stared at her mother in disbelief. She paused for effect. "Really?!"

"You don't have to become sarcastic just because you now share Jane's life, Maura. Where have your manners gone? Camille is my granddaughter. Of course, I want to take care of her... And if it includes diapers then so be it."

Maura didn't say anything back. She hadn't meant to offense her mother but she had to admit that her mother had nonetheless taken her aback. A lot. Constance Isles had never really liked interacting with children. As a matter of fact, Maura couldn't even remember the last time she had witnessed her mother speak to someone who wasn't at least nineteen-years old.

"Why are you wearing sunglasses?" The detail had caught Constance's attention the moment she had walked into the room. She cast a glance at the dark light that was barely piercing through the large windows. It was snowing and the sky was gray, very low. "The sun can hardly blind you, today."

"Because I'm tired. I haven't slept a lot and even makeup won't hide the dark rings under my eyes." Maura adjusted her Chanel on top of her nose rather nervously. She had looked at herself in the mirror of the bathroom just after Jane had left and she hadn't liked one bit what she had seen. "I also need to wash my hair."

Maura looked like a mess and she knew it. Of course, she also knew that she had excuses but she was way too self-conscious to actually embrace them. She had tied her hair up in a loose bun before covering the two-thirds of her head with a silky scarf because her hair was greasy.

Added to her sunglasses, she now looked ready for a ride on the cliffs of the French Riviera with Grace Kelly.

"Accepting the help of others won't make of you a bad mother, Maura."

It wasn't a reproach but a rather neutral statement. A honest one. Maura knew that her mother was right, that what she had just said was actually quite wise. Yet Maura wasn't ready to accept it. She didn't want to let go of Camille.

"Hmm."

Constance didn't insist. She immediately sensed how the subject was delicate for her daughter and she didn't want to annoy her in any way. She was the first visitor of the day. Maura's friends and colleagues would stop by in the afternoon to say hello to Camille. Constance was tired too. As a matter of fact, she hadn't managed to sleep at all. But she would never admit it to her daughter.

Her ego prevented her from doing so.

"Fatigue aside, how are you feeling?" Constance pushed the armchair in order to sit closer to Maura's bed. She had kept a reasonable distance until now. "Are you in pain? And... Emotionally?"

Maura remained focused on Camille. Breastfeeding was still something new and she needed to get used to it. She was very aware of her gestures, and of her position. She wanted to prove to everyone that she could do it. She had to succeed.

"My body is sore but this is normal." Her mother's sudden concern was unusual but Maura actually appreciated it a lot. She simply needed time to assimilate the bond that her mother was trying to build with her. "And... You're talking about the baby blues, aren't you?"

A post-partum depression belonged to another level of melancholy. It was actually a lot more serious than the sensitive state of mind many women experienced after giving birth to a child. A baby blues lasted a few days only while a post-partum depression didn't go away as quickly, nor as easily.

Constance gave Maura a rather unusual timid nod. She had never experienced maternity herself so the whole situation was very foreign to her world. Yet she really wanted to try, and to prove Maura that she honestly cared. She wouldn't repeat her mistakes from the past twice.

"Yes... In spite of being tired... You're happy, aren't you?"

Maura glanced furtively at her mother. She smiled and her eyes began to glimmer behing her large Chanel sunglasses.

"Of course, I am." However, it was also true that she felt a tad disarmed and nostalgic of something that she would never get to live again. She had turned a page of her life and it was a bit overwhelming. She had a child now. The situation brought up brand new responsibilities. "I couldn't be happier."

The delivery had gone just fine and Camille was a healthy baby. Breastfeeding was a success so far and Maura was looking forward to going back home with Jane and their daughter. She was really eager to see what the future had in store for them.

"Good, good." Constance looked down at her lap. Obviously she had a thousand questions dancing in her head right now but she didn't dare to let them pass her lips. The situation required a lot of efforts from her part. It was delicate. "Have you already thought about... About the moment you will go back to work? You said that it would happen in April, or May."

"We have options on several daycares. Bilingual daycares. But... I was also thinking that perhaps Angela would like to look after Camille while Jane and I are working."

Angela was still working at the _Dirty Robber_ but Maura knew that Jane's mother wanted to slow down a bit. Perhaps Camille would turn out to be the element that would push her to finally take a decision regarding her professional career. However this was something that Maura hadn't discussed with Jane and she wasn't sure that her partner really wanted it.

"You can also count on me, you know. I mean, when I'm in town."

"You want to babysit Camille?" Maura bit the inside of her cheek in order to not burst out laughing. At least her mother provided her an extra-source of entertainment this morning. Unless Constance had celebrated her granddaughter's birth and she had drunk too many glasses before showing up at the hospital. "You want to take care of a baby?"

Constance scoffed. She wasn't really offended but she liked teasing Maura. She was in a good mood after all. It was a day of celebration.

"I took care of you when you were very little. You know... When Samantha wasn't available."

Maura gently caressed her daughter's cheek. Camille was falling asleep anew in spite of being clutched to Maura's chest. The baby raised a tiny fist in the air before opening the palm of her hand the moment she made contact with her mother's skin. She rested her little hand flat against Maura's chest. Camille was craving for contact just as much as Maura was.

"Which must have happened twice in nine years." Maura laughed lightly. She couldn't care less about her own childhood anymore. She had very fond of memories of Samantha – her nanny – who had taken care of her until she had left for boarding school. "If this is what you want..." Maura looked up at her mother. "Jane and I will be very happy to leave you with Camille when you visit."

"Speaking about Jane, are you ever going to marry her? You love her and she loves you. You now have a child together. Don't you think it's time for the two of you to think about the future?"

Constance had spent way too much time with Angela. She had never been obsessed with the idea of Maura getting married before. As a matter of fact, she had rarely alluded to such possibility.

Maura almost regretted Jane's absence in the room because her partner would have had a blast with it.

"We've been together for five months. Don't you think it's a bit early?" Though Jane was going to adopt Camille, and Camille was definitely a Rizzoli-Isles in Maura's head. "It isn't on our top list of things to do. I'm sorry."

A knock on the door put an end to the conversation. Constance and Maura looked up only to see Arthur Isles poke his head inside the room. He walked in as soon as Maura greeted him with a bright smile.

"May I finally meet the future archeologist?"

Maura rolled her eyes but the truth was that she was delighted. She only wished Jane hadn't had to leave in order to fill a few forms and to go grab breakfast at home. Chances were that she had also stopped by the BPD to show pictures of Camille to everyone.

Maura had rarely seen Jane so proud of anything in her life.

"She won't get married, Arthur." Constance stood up. She walked to a small table and poured herself a mug of tea. The hospital had provided Maura a tea kettle. Everyone who stopped by seemed to appreciate the gesture. "She thinks it's too early."

Arthur Isles had leaned over to observe Camille carefully. He didn't dare to touch her though. As a matter of fact, he was just as uncomfortable around babies as Constance could be but he still showed interest. In his own way.

"She was born ten hours ago, Constance. Don't you think it's a bit early to marry her, anyway? And to whom, besides?"

"I'm not talking about Camille but Maura. Your daughter, idiot." Constance walked back to her husband. "Of course, Camille is too young to get married! But Maura isn't and she doesn't want to marry Jane. _Not just yet_ as she said."

The news didn't seem to bother Maura's father the slightest bit. He barely gave his wife a nod before dropping loudly on Maura's lap the newspapers he had bought earlier in the morning.

"Here's the _Financial Times_ , Maura. I thought you would enjoy it." Arthur then walked to the windows in order to look at Boston. He crossed his hands in his back before nodding at nobody but himself. "Nice view."

Maura looked down at the newspaper. Perhaps everything in her life hadn't really changed over-night, after all. As a matter of fact, some things seemed to be just the same as they had always been.


	37. Chapter 37

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews and messages; I would say that there are two chapters left in this story before starting the sequel (I'm not too sure though as I write one chapter a day).**

 **Chapter Thirty-Seven**

Maura looked at her reflection in the small mirror of the bathroom. The neon light didn't do justice to her skin. However, it stronly emphasized the dark circles she had under her eyes. She pouted, not really satisfied of the result but nonetheless eager to find something positive to keep in mind. She was a cheerful person. Being positive was her motto.

She took a deep breath and focused on her reflection.

At least she had changed and she had washed her hair with dry shampoo. She was a bit more presentable than she used to. Her silky knee-length black negligee matched her kimono and she was wearing the bracelet Jane had bought her when Jane had moved in at her place. She looked as elegant as a woman who had given birth sixteen hours earlier could.

"Maura?"

The sound of Jane's voice made Maura smile brightly. Jane had only left for a few hours but Maura had immensely missed her during this time. She needed Jane's presence in her life more than ever right now. She felt emotional, and fragile. Yet very powerful as well. It was a very strange mix.

"I'm in the bathroom."

Maura cast a last glance at her reflection. Her eyes then fixed upon the pack of maternity pads that she had set down on top of small shelves. She frowned as hesitation invaded her. Perhaps she should put it somewhere else just in case one of her visitors needed to use the bathroom.

Lochia was definitely not a side of maternity that many people wanted to face nor hear about.

She picked up the aforesaid pack and walked back into the room. Perhaps she could simply put it in her closet or in one of Camille's maternity bags.

"I went to change." In spite of the ridiculous pace of her steps and the feeling that she was walking like a cowboy of some sort, Maura closed the distance that separated her from Jane at relatively light speed. She slid an arm around her partner's waist in order to pull her closer before capturing her lips in a long and tender kiss. "I really needed to freshen up a bit."

"You're the most gorgeous mom on the whole floor. And the only one who's wearing Chanel sunglasses...!" Jane laughed lightly. "Take them off, Maura. You don't look as tired as you think you do. You're too self-conscious." Jane rubbed Maura's back for support. She motioned the huge pack Maura had in her hands. "Where are you going to with these pads?"

Maura looked down at the pack that she was carrying. She found it quite ironical that babies weren't the only ones who had to wear diapers after a delivery. Although it wasn't a very pleasant irony.

"I just wanted to hide them. We're going to have plenty of visits, this afternoon. This may be... You know... Intimidating. People may feel uncomfortable if they come across them. I don't let boxes of tampons wide open by the toilets at home... So I don't see why it should be any different here."

Her father hadn't mentioned them when he had used her bathroom earlier in the morning though but perhaps he had simply been too polite to say anything. Or too embarrassed.

Maura walked to one of the maternity bags that Jane had set down on a shelf. She put the pack in it before going to drop it anew in the bathroom. Problem solved.

"By the way... Where's Camille?"

Jane had walked into an empty room and if Maura had happened to be in the bathroom then she had no idea where their daughter had gone to. She wasn't really worried though. Maura looked very relaxed which tended to comfort Jane rather effectively. Obviously nothing bad had happened to their daughter.

"Our daughter is officially passing her first important medical exams." Maura dragged herself to the bed anew. Her body was too sore for her to stay up on her feet for too long. She sat back on it and tended her hand in order to push Jane to join her there. "She should be back in an hour."

Reassured, Jane nodded. She immediately went to sit down on the bed next to Maura. She was very eager to cuddle with her partner but Maura's sore body worried her. She didn't want to do more harm than good. Besides, she didn't know what Maura really wanted. Jane had to be attentive, and patient. Or at least it was how she saw their current situation.

Maura laid down a bit but she tilted her head almost immediately to make sure that her lips would brush Jane's neck. She had instinctively understood Jane's fears, as well as her desires.

It was actually the first time in twenty-four hours that they had some time for themselves. The break was well needed even if Maura was eager to see Camille anew. She was glad to find back the serenity that only Jane could bring her on a daily basis.

"Did you go to the BPD?"

The question caused Jane to blush. Of course, she had rushed there as soon as she had been able to. She had just lived the most important night of her life and she wanted to make sure that everyone would know about it. Yes, she felt like bragging about it and so what? It was perfectly normal: she was in love with the sweetest person in this world and this person had just given birth to the most gorgeous baby of Boston.

"They all think she looks like you." Camille had dark hair and the color of her eyes still had to be determined even if they looked gray but Jane agreed with the general opinion on the matter: their daughter had the same jaw as Maura, and the same lips. She had her traits. Or at least Jane imagined that Camille did because the truth was that she hadn't seen a lot of pictures of Maura as a newborn. Because of the singularity of her birth and the aftermath. "You have no idea how much I love you."

The declaration took Maura aback. She didn't have any doubt over Jane's feelings but she hadn't expected her partner to say it out loud now. With such emotion in her voice. Jane had showed her affection in the delivery room but it had been a whirl of whispers and timid kisses.

Her discretion had probably been caused by the fact that they hadn't been alone by then, and by the shock of seeing Little M on Maura's chest. As a matter of fact, Maura had remained speechless herself. She planted a soft kiss on Jane's shoulder in return though. They were now alone and the powerful emotion of the delivery was slowly fading away. She only felt like spending the afternoon in Jane's arms.

"I love you too. All of this..." Maura cast a glance at the room. "I knew that if there was one person I had to live it with then it had to be you. Nobody else but you."

Jane turned around slightly in order to look into Maura's eyes. She needed the eye-contact because of what she was about to say. The words had burnt her lips the moment she had walked into the room. Of course she would have preferred to have Camille with them but perhaps the moment of intimacy they were currently sharing was actually a lot better. It fit.

"I was thinking about something... I know we haven't talked about it and... I don't want you to feel pressure or anything... Actually, it's a just a _maybe_ – a _why not_ \- but... Do you think that once we're settled at home with Camille and that we've started our family life... Ahem... Do you think that there's a chance – even in a remote future – that you... Ahem... That you'll marry me? I know I've filled the adoption papers so Camille is safe from a legal point of view but..." Jane shrugged. She hadn't prepared any speech. She didn't have any beautiful metaphor to say nor any author to quote. She simply let her heart speak for her instead. And it was comforting. "Do you think that... Maybe we could get married?"

Maura wasn't very fond of the idea of getting married and the truth was that Jane didn't obsess over it either but something had hit her as soon as she had driven away from the hospital. Something that she couldn't really explain.

However she could feel it, deep down in her heart: her perspective on life had changed.

The silence that followed Jane's awkward semblance of proposal felt warm, and gentle. There was no fear behind it, even less hesitations. It was sweet and it matched the atmosphere of the moment that they were sharing.

Maura nodded enthusiastically. She rested her head on top of a pillow but her hazel eyes were plunged in Jane's dark ones that were only a few inches away from her face. She flashed Jane a bright smile as her heart skipped a beat.

"Yes. I think I would like it a lot, as a matter of fact."

Jane didn't say anything back because words werent needed. She cupped Maura's face instead before kissing her softly on the lips. Deeply. The intensity of their bond seemed to follow a different pace now that Camille was born. It seemed to be almost untouchable now. Even more powerful if that was ever possible.

"How are you feeling?"

Jane grabbed Maura's hand. She intertwined their fingers before tightening her grip on Maura. She needed the touch. She needed to feel the heat of Maura's body against hers. Her whisper barely passed her lips. Maura's smile embrace her heart lovingly.

"I couldn't feel any better."

...

"Camille is an Isles and an Isles will certainly not show up in pj's in front of guests." Maura snorted. "Guests whom she's supposed to meet for the first time."

Jane rolled her eyes before shaking her head apologetically at her daughter whom she was holding in her arms. Poor Camille had no idea that one of her mothers happened to be such a fashionista.

Camille had passed the usual medical tests with flying colors. Everything was going fine and breastfeeding worked out just fine. They now expected the first visitors to arrive within thirty minutes which was the reason of Maura's sudden stress.

"She's not even one day old, Maura... Besides, her pj's are lovely."

"She'll look even better in her woolen plaid dress..." Maura showed Jane said dress before grabbing the cashmere cardigan that Hope had bought. Perhaps it was a tad too hot in the room to add another layer of clothes though. "She has plenty of clothes, let's make sure we use them before she actually outgrows them."

Fair point.

Besides if Jane was in charge of changing Camille then it meant that she could give her daughter extra-kisses. It was a bonus that surely boosted her enthusiasm.

Jane walked towards Maura with Camille in her arms. She loved these moments more than anything. It was a new routine in her life but she was already addicted to it. It was her family; the two people she loved the most on Earth. Just the three of them.

Maura let Jane do. She positioned herself behind her partner and slid both her arms around Jane's waist before leaning her chin on top of Jane's shoulder. It was a glorious day to be alive. The most glorious day Maura had ever had.


	38. Chapter 38

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews; I'll try to push to 40 chapters for this story so it should be over by Friday and then we're onto the sequel.**

 **Chapter Thirty-Eight**

"You're a natural." Maura laughed lightly. Kent was holding Camille in his arms and the baby seemed to enjoy it a lot. She looked at him with herbig gray eyes. Maura cast a very amused glance at Jane but her joy wasn't contagious. Jane looked embarrassed and uncomfortable. Maura smiled at Kent anew though. "Perhaps you could babysit her from time to time."

Kent's cheeks turned pink. A mysterious smile reached his eyes nonetheless. Obviously Maura's compliment had touched him a lot. The mix of emotions that showed on his face was confusing though. He remained quiet and focused on Camille.

"Where did you learn to take care of newborns? Do you have cousins, nephews?"

Kent wasn't a pediatrician.

"Maura." Jane's voice hit the air with an authoritative timidity as she sat up on the armchair and implicitly asked her partner to stop. Jane had feared this moment since she had learned that Kent would stop by. She couldn't help thinking about his past, his terrible past that very few people knew about. "You're not in the interrogation room, you know."

A veil of confusion darkened Maura's traits as Jane's words sank in. She didn't understand her partner's remark for she – Maura – was simply making conversation. Light conversation, besides. She hadn't said anything wrong at all. Kent's voice caught her attention as he addressed Jane.

"It's okay, Jane. Really." Kent looked at Maura with great hesitation. His uncertainty showed in his eyes, and in his suddenly fragile smile. He finally cleared his voice before taking a deep breath in order to find the courage to let Maura know what was going on with as much tact as he could. "I used to have a son."

 _Used to._

Maura didn't miss the tense used by her employee but as much as she knew that he spoke proper English, a part of her refused to see it as anything but a mistake. An incomprehensible mistake.

"Where.. Where is he now?"

The truth was that Maura didn't need an answer because she had understood everything way before even asking her question. She just wasn't ready to accept it. Even less now while she had just given birth to Camille.

She swallowed hard as she began to feel stupid. It wasn't her fault though. As a matter of fact, it was nobody's fault. Jane hadn't told her about the accident that had ocurred in South Africa because she had simply wanted to protect her. It was more than fair. The only unfairness was the evident death of a child.

"He passed away." Kent didn't want to lie to his boss but he immediately tried to soften the news nonetheless. "It was a long time ago."

Of course his last remark didn't fool anyone. Maura knew that time couldn't heal the loss of a child. It wasn't true. She understood it even better now that she was a mother herself. Perhaps you could accept such terrible truth but you never turned the page over it. It was impossible. It was the kind of tragedy that you couldn't overcome.

"Oh."

Maura found herself looking for her words. Plain apologies – polite ones – passed her lips in a barely audible reply. As much as she was glad to know a bit more about her employee's past, she still felt very awkward.

Especially as he was holding her very own child in his arms.

The conversation resumed without any specific awkwardness. Kent had accepted his fate. Thus he didn't have any issue facing it. This was something that Jane had noticed on the day they had gone out for a drink together.

If he had told her a bit more about his life in South Africa, he had also been able to speak freely about the rest with very little transition between subjects. Only time could help him do that.

But the moment he left the room – the moment Jane closed the door behind him – Maura burst into cries. The tears ran down her cheeks silently. Bitterly.

"Would you lik-..." Jane turned around to look at her partner but she froze right away. "Maura!" She rushed to Maura and – without thinking twice about it – she took her partner in her arms. Neither she nor Maura were very fond of hugs but the distress that showed on Maura's face had pushed Jane to hug her nonetheless. "It's okay... He's okay now."

Maura nodded between two sobs. She knew that Jane was right for she had witnessed it by herself.

Perhaps she was simply tired and the ballet of hormones that was currently happening in her body made it hard for her to stop crying. The tears had to come out. She could feel it. As a matter of fact, it felt immensely relieving.

She was lucky. She had Jane, and Camille. Their daughter was healthy and everything was going well. Kent's story was still a reminder of how fragile life could be. She didn't have to forget this.

...

"Who wants to do this?" The nurse flashed Jane and Maura a bright smile. She was still holding Camille but one of the baby's mothers was supposed to now take charge. "Jane?"

Maura gave her partner a nod as Jane looked at her a bit timidly. As a matter of fact, it had always been cleared in Maura's head that Jane would give Camille her first bath. Maura couldn't pump milk yet which meant that Jane couldn't feed their daughter at the moment. Thus Jane and Camille needed to bond over different activities and bath time was one of them.

Besides, Maura knew how Jane loved it when the nurse stopped by the room in order to teach them how to take care of a newborn. It showed in her eyes. They always began to glimmer like a thousand diamonds. It warmed up Maura's heart.

Jane carefully took Camille in her arms. The baby was very quiet but then she was still fully dressed and a tad sleepy. Things may begin to change once Jane would undress her.

"Have you ever given a bath to a baby?"

"Not to a newborn, no." However Jane had read several books on maternity. She had even taken notes on all these daily activities. "I just know that they don't like being cold."

The nurse laughed lightly.

"It's an understatement. That's why you have to make sure the bath is ready by the time you want to undress your child. Same for the bath towel. It has to be at reached when bath time is over. Don't make your baby wait for too long. Nobody likes being cold and wet."

Jane nodded. She was a lot more insecure about the cares she had to provide to Camille's cord. She was actually very afraid of hurting her for it was a very unusual situation to deal with. The moment was important, very important.

Maura watched how carefully Jane followed the nurse's instructions. As a matter of fact, she had rarely seen Jane be so serious and focused in her life. Jane even didn't notice it when Maura began to snap pictures of her giving Camille her first bath.

They were a family. Maura had made this idea hers way before giving birth but this first bath really brought a complete dimension to it. It looked a lot more realistic now. It was overwhelming somehow.

"Do you have a shower or a bath tub at home?"

"We have both." Jane answered the nurse without breaking eye-contact with Camille who seemed to be slightly taken aback by her sudden liquid environment. The baby wasn't crying. As a matter of fact, Camille was very quiet but you could tell that she didn't really understand what was happening to her right now. The look of perplexity on her face was telling. "The bathroom Camille may use when she grows up only has a shower though. We have to change that?"

It hadn't crossed Jane's mind until now. She landed panicked eyes on Maura who seemed to be just as much in doubts as she was. The nursery had an ensuite bathroom but it only had a shower. Perhaps it was time to change it for a small bath tub. The room was a lot smaller than Maura and Jane's own bathroom though.

"Oh, no! Don't be worried. Many families don't have several bathrooms nor a bath tub or a shower. You'll do just fine. Besides, your daughter seems to enjoy bath time a lot so she may be a shower kid."

Jane was taking great care of Camille. She kept on interacting with her, on kissing her little toes and arms. The moment was very peaceful, and quiet. Maura simply hoped that she would handle it just as well when Jane wouldn't be around.

She talked to Camille a lot but she wasn't as exhuberant and loud as Jane could be. It made her feel a tad bad.

Camille barely reacted when Jane took her out of the bath to wrap her up immediately in a warm towel. It had been a complete success, one that made Maura feel extremely proud.

"You're doing very well. Camille has two fantastic mothers, congratulations." The nurse smiled at the baby before looking at Maura anew. "How do you handle breastfeeding? Does it hurt?"

Maura shrugged. The sensation wasn't unpleasant unless Camille wasn't in the right position. But Maura enjoyed it a lot. She saw it as a privileged moment between her and her daughter. She was looking forward to it all day long.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you very much." Maura went to put Camille back into her crib. The baby was wearing the blue-gray pj's that Nina and Frankie had bought and the color suited her pale complexion very well. Maura thought that Camille looked very pretty in it. She simply didn't dare to say it out loud for fearing to sound like someone who would brag about their child. "I'll start pumping as soon as possible though to make sure that Jane can feed her too."

Hopefully it would work out. Maura knew that some newborns didn't like both methods. Camille did very well with breastfeeding but perhaps she wouldn't like being fed with a bottle.

It would break Maura's heart if this ever happened. Jane deserved these moments with their daughter.

The nurse approved the idea before leaving the room anew.

"I love you." Maura's words came to die in the crook of Jane's neck as she came closer to her partner and kissed her jaw quietly. The reminiscence of Jane's proposal the day before had rushed back to her heart during Camille's bath. It really sounded right. "Thank you for being part of my life."


	39. Chapter 39

**Author's Note: Thank you very much for all the reviews, I will post a very last chapter tomorrow. Then you will have a sequel (though not before October as I go on vacation in ten days; I also plan on writing a Paris fic that would follow the finale). Anonymous reviewer: I based myself on the fact Maura belongs to the upper social class, thus she has a lot of money and she can afford a "royal" treatment (chances are the real royal treatment offers even more things); though to be honest, I mostly based myself on what every mother gets here (in France) for free at the hospital when she gives birth (they show you how to take care of newborns etc; you stay at the hospital around 4/5 days, or longer if you had a c-section).**

 **Chapter Thirty-Nine**

Maura walked towards one of the large windows of her hospital bedroom. She leaned against the glass before crossing her arms against her chest.

She and Camille were supposed to go back home today but it was snowing heavily outside. The weather was bad which stressed Maura out quite a bit. Jane was a good driver and she knew how to handle Bostonian winters but the roads were icy and Maura saw it as a potential risk of accidents. Even more now that they had Camille. It was stupid but she couldn't help thinking about what had happened to Kent. Life was unfair sometimes. Jane had told her that his son had died in a car crash, along with his wife. Thus Maura was convinced to be right to fear a car ride.

Too afraid of succumbing to terrible scenarios, she turned around and walked back to the crib. Camille was peacefully sleeping. Maura had dressed her up and they were both ready to face the outside world for the first time even if said world looked a lot like the Apocalypse right now. Maura sighed. She had to accept the fact that she couldn't say locked in a room with her daughter for the rest of her life.

Someone knocked on the door. The sudden noise caused Maura to jump slightly as it broken the silence without any warning. She turned around anew – to look at the door, this time – then she cleared her voice before speaking.

"Yes?"

Jane poked her head inside before walking in as soon as she realized that she wasn't interrupting anything. A silly grin played on her lips. It lit up her features. Her cheeks were red from the cold outside and her eyes were glimmering. She was obviously more than happy to get Maura and Camille back home.

"Hello..." Jane headed straight to Maura in order to kiss her. She was relieved to bring her back home because sleeping alone in their bed had started dragging her down a bit. She felt incomplete when Maura wasn't around. "How are you?"

Maura tried to sweep away the latent apprehension she had to head back to Beacon Hill in the snow. She focused on Jane's smile instead and she tried to feed herself of its strength. She needed it. As a matter of fact, she had always needed it but it seemed to be even more paramount now.

"I'm fine, thank you. How are you? Camille is ready. Do you think she needs to wear something warmer? She has her woolen hat, anyway. You know, the one your mother knitted for her. Where did you park?"

Jane chuckled slightly. Maura hadn't even caught her breath while talking. A zillion words had passed her lips at light speed which had only betrayed her deep anxiety.

"By the emergency stop ambulances use. You know, just by the door. By the main entrance." Jane rushed to the crib. She began to squeal in silence the moment she saw Camille in it. Of course she wasn't very objective but she was nonetheless certain that their daughter was getting more gorgeous each day. "Her woolen jacket and the matching hat will do it. Only four steps outside separate her from the car."

Maura was going to nod in approval feeling somewhat relieved when she realized what Jane had just told her. Confusion showed in her face. Perplexed, she came closer to Jane before crossing her arms against her chest.

"The ambulance stop? But you don't drive an ambulance, Jane."

Jane gave Maura a Cheshire smile. She had taken Camille in her arms which had slightly woken up the baby. Thankfully Camille remained rather quiet. She simply observed Jane with her big gray eyes instead. She looked mesmerized by Jane's long dark curls.

"No... But I'm a BDP detective so I can park wherever I want to." Jane coughed before turning her back at Maura and whispering an inaudible latest remark. "Even when I'm off duty."

"Oh my god. Jane! Are you telling me that you're abusing your power?"

Jane snorted.

"Says the girl who got an ambulance ride from the courthouse to the hospital as her water broke while she was doing just fine..."

Touché.

"The judge called it. I didn't ask for it."

It was a lame remark from Maura, one that had been pushed by her slightly bruised ego. The truth was that Jane was right. As the chief medical examiner of the state, she had had some privileges at times. And she hadn't turned them all down.

Maura raised both arms in defeat. She cast a very last glance at the bedroom before walking towards all the bags that she had set down on the floor by the door. They would never be able to do it one go. As a matter of fact, she wasn't physically ready to lift heavy charges.

"I'll take the bags to the car. Then when I'm done, I'll come to pick you and Camille up..." Jane winked. She had noticed Maura's quiet despair over the impressive amount of suitcases. "Okay? Maybe you can go say goodbye to the staff in the meantime. Do you have an appointment set with the midwife?"

Maura nodded.

"Next week. She thinks there wasn't much damage done though. I didn't get an episiotomy, you know. My last checkup was fine."

The news reassured Jane. She had read a lot of testimonials about women whose delivery had really ruined their perineum. It was the last thing she wished to Maura. Thankfully being a medical doctor pushed Maura to be wise and careful. She knew the potential risks to any medical situation given. Jane was convinced that she wouldn't do anything stupid.

Jane grabbed three bags out of six. She walked out of the bedroom and disappeared in the corridor. Maura – who was now holding Camille – looked down at her daughter.

The two of them were already turning their first page. Together. Going back home was a source of relief but a source of stress as well. Maura wouldn't have a whole medical staff at reach unlike here. Of course, she had chosen the best hospital in town and she didn't regret it one bit. She would keep very fond of memories of her stay and how helpful everyone had been.

But it was now time to properly start living.

...

"I can carry Camille, it's okay." Maura looked at the baby before giving Jane a smile. "I can easily carry the seat inside."

Jane nodded. She was glad to have installed the base of the baby car seat before driving to the hospital because it had taken her a good twenty minutes in the snow. At least setting Camille's seat in the car it had turned out to be easier.

And less humiliating.

Camille seemed to have enjoyed the ride home. Jane had driven very slowly – very carefully – and the movement of the car had rocked the baby to sleep. Maura almost felt bad to take their daughter out of such a warm and quiet place.

"Just be careful, okay? The sidewalk is a total ice rink."

As a matter of fact, it was snowing so hard that Maura had put her snow boots on, the ones that she kept for outdoor crime scenes in the winter. The Bostonian weather could be tough to handle. She had learned it the hard way during her first weeks as a medical examiner.

She unfastened the seat belt then took the baby seat out of its base. An icy wind welcomed her as soon as she opened the door of the car and stepped outside. It wasn't just a snowfall but a storm. The sky was so gray that it looked almost dark.

She carefully walked to the door of the house. She had missed being home a lot. She was looking forward to seeing Bass, Sushi and Jo Friday. To find back the comfort of her bed.

"Oh my god..." Maura stopped in the lobby the moment her eyes fixed upon the multicolored balloons that were floating up against the ceiling. She laughed lightly then she shook her head at her relatives. "Oh..."

The words stayed trapped in her throat. She felt how her tears menaced the edge of her eyes as a thousand emotions passed underneath her skin. She hadn't expected this at all. Of course she knew that her parents were still in town – just like Hope – and that there were high chances for Angela to be around but she hadn't imagined that they would organize a small welcome-back-home party.

It was really touching.

"Ah no. You're not gonna cry." Jane gently pushed her towards the living-room where everyone was waiting. "Take care of Camille while I get the rest of the bags out of the car."

Maura nodded but Constance had already grabbed the car seat in order to set it down on the couch of the living-room.

"We got the quietest granddaughter of the whole world." She cast a glance at her husband, at Hope and at Angela. She then carefully began to undress Camille before Maura's surprise. "Look at this little angel. My daughter makes beautiful babies."

The surge of pride in Constance's voice made Maura giggle. Her mother must have drunk at least three glasses of Cognac to speak this way. There must have been something because it wasn't the Constance Isles Maura knew.

"Oh."

Sushi jumped on top of the couch before coming closer to the baby car seat. Constance was about to get her back on the floor when Maura prevented her from doing it.

"No. It's okay. Sushi knows who it is."

Having pets at home may be a challenge when there was a newborn around but Maura knew that it would be okay. She began to caress the cat in order to make sure that she would be relaxed. Sushi purred immediately. Her little pink nose sniffed the seat carefully before brushing Camille's tiny hand. People observed the scene with more or less anxiety.

Constance even held back a gasp when Sushi walked into the car seat, between Camille's legs. But the cat simply decided to settle there to sleep.

Maura smiled: Sushi had recognized Camille, the presence that she had felt in Maura's stomach in January. And the cat was very protective of the baby now.

"See?" Maura looked up at her mother. She hadn't had any doubt. At no moment. And she was very proud to show it now. "Everything is fine. However, you can keep on taking this jacket off Camille... It is hot in here."

Maura had chosen the cashmere cardigan that Hope had bought for Camille. It matched the red bloomers and the plain black little boots that Maura had got delivered from England.

Jane still thought that Camille was over-dressed for a newborn but it was a guilty pleasure Maura wanted to indulge in. Besides, her mother was around.

And nobody wore pj's when Constance was in the house. Absolutely nobody.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter Forty**

It had happened without any warning. A powerful wave of anxiety had passed underneath Jane's skin the moment she had looked at Camille. In spite of her daughter's serenity, Jane had felt how her heart had begun to beat a lot faster and how an endless series of dramatic scenarios had turned her brain into a bottomless nightmare. The responsibilities she now had as a mother had hit her like a ton of bricks. Very violently.

And she had burst into tears.

She didn't have any doubt – as a matter of fact, she knew that she was ready to assume everything – but the last days had been overwhelming. Perhaps she needed these tears to come out the way Maura had cried at the hospital after Kent had told her about his past.

Jane needed to trust her instinct and to stick to the behavior she had showed since the moment Maura had told her that she was expecting a baby.

They would do just fine together and Camille would grow up in a family that loved her more than anything. Jane was very much in love herself. Her feelings had showed up unexpectedly – on an unplanned journey – but she had embraced them with a determination that was extremely comforting.

Thus her anxiety didn't make sense. Or at least not really. Perhaps she was simply a tad tired. She hadn't stopped going from one place to another since Maura had given birth to their daughter, after all.

Of course she didn't have a hold over everything and she didn't know what the future had in store for them but she still could make sure to reduce potential risks to a minimum. She had been reckless in the past – not so long ago, actually – and she hadn't always thought about the danger that lay behind her actions. It would be different from now on: she owed it to Maura, and to Camille.

She had taken two weeks off in order to help Maura at home at first and because she wanted to take care of her daughter during the first days of her life but she knew that she would have to go back to work at some point. Just as she knew how dangerous said work could be. Perhaps it was a tad too early to talk about it but Jane had the feeling that being a mother would provoke a drastic change in her professional behavior. She had developed a strong sensibility.

"Are you ready, Little M.?" Jane cast a glance at the sky through the window. It was a glorious sunny day, very cold but perfect for a walk. Jane laughed lightly as she realized how much Camille looked like an Eskimo in her winter outfit. "Let's go pick up your mother."

Maura had got her first appointment with the midwife since she had left the hospital a week earlier. Jane assumed that her partner would then start her reeducation soon just as it was supposed to go.

The short amount of time that Jane and spent alone at home with Camille today had nonetheless brought her a lot of comfort. It was the first time that she could bond with her daughter without anyone else to be around. And everything had gone smoothly.

Jane was actually earger to repeat the experience soon.

Maura's parents were still in Boston but they didn't try to control anything. Same for Angela had was being oddly respectful of Jane and Maura's privacy and time as mothers. Hope often stopped by in the afternoon. Jane liked this routine.

She pushed the stroller towards the lobby before opening the door. Beacon Hill was very quiet at this hour of the day and the beautiful brick townhouses seemed to be shining in the sun. Jane had always loved this neighborhood even if it hadn't crossed her mind that she may live there one day. Just another dream that had come true.

She closed the door behind her before starting to walk towards Boston Common with Camille in her stroller.

The pride she felt to walk around with her daughter was extremely ridiculous. Jane was aware of it but she couldn't help feel that way. She may have not given birth to the baby who was sleeping in the stroller but Camille was nonetheless her child. And it made Jane feel complete.

She crossed Boston Common at a fast pace. Camille seemed to enjoy the ride. She was an easy newborn even if her temper had begun to show lately. Perhaps the next few years wouldn't be as quiet as the days were now passing by.

Jane reached the hospital the moment Maura was walking out of it. She waved at her timidly, impatiently.

"Hey..." Maura planted a light kiss on Jane's lips before brushing Camille's forehead with her kiss. "How did it go?"

"It went just fine. How about you?"

Both women began to walk towards a coffee shop they enjoyed a lot. It would probably become one of their favorite spot in the next months for it was close to the hospital where Maura and Camille would get their checkups.

"I will have ten sessions of reeducation, twice a week. It should go fast, actually." Maura cast a glance at their surrouding. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a few seconds in order to enjoy the warmth of the sun on her skin. "She said I'm doing fine."

Maura had recovered from her delivery very quickly. Of course she was tired because of the pace Camille imposed them but she knew that she could count on Jane, especially now that she had begun to pump her milk.

She wouldn't have to breasfeed all the time from now and her partner would actually be able to take care of it. She still enjoyed breastfeeding Camille but she was glad that Jane could now feed her too. It was important for Maura.

As a matter of fact, Maura couldn't feel happier. Jane was being a really fantastic partner and the best mother a child could hope for. She made sure that Maura would have her time off to take a bath, or to take a nap. Thus Maura didn't have the feeling to be overwhelmed by her new responsibilities.

It was almost too good to be true.

"I'm starving." Maura adjusted her Chanel sunglasses on top of her nose before opening the door to the coffee shop to Jane who was still pushing the stroller. "Their double-chocolate waffles are exactly what I need."

The remark caused Maura to laugh because double-chocolate waffles were the food she had craved the most during her pregnancy. Perhaps it had simply turned into a new diet habit.

They settled at a table near the windows that overlooked the gates of Boston Common. Maura sat down at a table and Jane went to order their drinks as well as their pastries. The coffee shop was very quiet, and almost empty.

Within a few minutes, Jane was back to their table.

She took her coat off before sitting down opposite Maura. She glanced at Camille who was now freed from her winter outfit before looking back at Maura almost immediately.

"I know that you hate surprises but ahem..." Jane ran her tongue over her lips. She didn't want to wait any longer to say what she had to say. As a matter of fact, the walk to the coffee shop had been plain torture for her. "I've got something for you."

Jane leaned over to grab something in Camille's diaper bag. She sat back on her seat properly before setting down on the table a small velvet box.

Maura raised an eyebrow. She looked more amused than anything.

"Is it what I think it is?"

Jane laughed nervously.

She ran a hand through her hair before shaking her head and shrugging away Maura's question. Though the moment she saw the waiter walk towards their table with their orders, she grabbed the box back immediately. She politely thanked him for the drinks and the sweets whereas Maura answered his few questions about Camille before putting the box back on the table as he left anew.

"There is no date. There is no pressure. It can happen tomorrow like in twenty years. I don't care much." Jane opened the box. The diamond of the ring caught the sun and shone intensely. "But I nonetheless want you to wear this. It's... It's a reminder of the promise you made last week."

Jane found the word 'engagement' to be old-fashioned. Besides, she wasn't sure that it was actually what she and Maura were about to do. She had proposed to her partner but it remained symbolical. There was nothing official about it and she wanted to keep it this way for a while. The ring was just a personal gift; one that could easily be taken for a birth gift.

Maura's hazel eyes fixed upon the ring. She found it to be very beautiful, elegant and discreet. As a matter of fact, the design looked ancient.

"It belonged to this dear Pupetta."

"Oh." A quiet laugh slid on Maura's lips. Jane had just answered her silent question over the design of the ring. "So... This is a jewel that stays in the family, isn't it?"

Jane gave Maura a nod.

"It's exactly what it is. Unless you have changed your mind, of course. Do you still think that one day you may become a Rizzoli-Isles?"

If Maura had had a lot of fantasies about engagement parties and weddings, she had to admit that what she was living with Jane now went beyond her expectations. It was actually a lot better than a thousand dreams. It fit. It matched who they were and how they wanted to lead their life.

The moment was personal yet very simple and deprived of complex notions that would make it sound colder and artificial.

"I do think that this is what I want, Jane." Maura nodded. Her cheeks had turned pink as a wave of timidity had invaded her. "Really."

Satisfied and perhaps even a tad relieved, Jane took the ring out of the box in order to slide it along Maura's finger. She observed it for a while before squeezing Maura's hand tightly as she looked into her partner's eyes.

It was meant to be. She was sure of it.

The End

 **Author's Note: Thank you very much for all your reviews and messages to this long story. I'm really happy to see that so many of you have liked it. I should be back here around October, 7th. I leave for Canada for two weeks, on vacation. Thus I won't be able to post anything during this lapse of time.**

 **My initial plan was to write a sequel to this story. If this is what you want, please let me know in the reviews or in a private message. If you prefer me to turn the page and start the Paris story that would follow the last episode then let me know too. I think I will follow your desires. If there is a sequel then it means the Paris fic will be written after. That's up to you!**

 **Thanks again for everything.**


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